Saturday, December 17, 2005
War on Hanukkah
Why isn't anyone reporting on the War on Hanukkah (or Hannukah or Chanukkah - I never really was sure how to spell it). Recently, I went to see my town's Hannukah Bush and was outraged that they were calling it a "Holiday Tree." It's not a "Holiday Tree" it's a "Hanukah Bush" (or Chanukah Bush - not sure which) Unfortunately, the forces of political correctness and inclusion are bending over backwards not to offend Gentiles. This country was founded on the values of the Torah and its sequel. Then I was shocked to see pictures of President Bush lighting a Menorah (is that how it's spelled?) on December 6! Hanukkah doesn't begin until December 25. Didn't anyone in the White House know this? Why didn't he light it on the proper day? What is he doing on December 25 that is so important he couldn't take time to light the Menorah on the proper day? Is he taking the day off on December 25 or something? I think we are owed an explanation.
I’m really glad you brought up the War on Hanukah. It gives me a chance address an important topic: Getting Christ out of Christmas. I think that it is essential that we peel off all the layers of Christianity that have been attached, barnacle-like, to this once-great pagan holiday. December 25 was the day that my people, the Romans, celebrated the feast of Sol Invictus (who wasn’t Jewish despite the suspicious first name). Sol Invictus actually means “The Unconquered Sun,” which sounds like a kid who got away Michael Jackson, but is actually about celebrating the lengthening length of days that aren’t so lengthy until they begin lengthening to their proper length.
ReplyDeleteChristianity stole this holiday and brazenly turned it into a day of worship. They did the same with Easter, which takes its names from the fertility goddess Eastre, whose symbols were the egg and the rabbit. The Christians came along and added Jesus to it. I say, take Jesus out of Easter and give it back to the Easter Bunny. This has gone on too long.
Yours truly,
Dottore Nicolo Fantutti
The Hospital of the Broken Salve
Rome, Italy
I hear the Jews are running this whole thing. They control the banks, the government, the NFL, the Media, the Catholic Church, GLAAD etc... We should sen 'em all packing!
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