Friday, May 26, 2006

50 More Conservative Rock Songs

The National Review has published a list of the Top 50 Conservative Songs, which demonstrates (if you didn't already know) that being a conservative is really, really cool. The writer, John Miller, does a very good job of finding the hidden conservative meanings in rock songs that hardly anyone had ever seen before. Who knew that some of our greatest conservative artists were the Clash, the Sex Pistols, the Beatles, Bob Dylan, and the Who? But then according to Ann Althouse, "To be a great artist is inherently right wing. A great artist like Dylan or Picasso may have some superficial, naive, lefty things to say, but underneath, where it counts, there is a strong individual, taking responsibility for his place in the world and focusing on that." So in a sense, you could say, every great rock song is actually conservative, which is probably why they sound so good in commercials. You begin to wonder if there really is any such thing as a liberal rock song. I think a lot of liberal critics twist the meanings of some of the lyrics, pull words out of context or just willfully blind themselves to the real meaning of many rock songs. Maybe that's why so many great rock songs were left off the list. So here are 50 more great conservative rock songs:

1. Bobby McFerrin
"Don't Worry, Be Happy"
Has there ever been a more succinct summation of the philosophy of conservatism? I could listen to this song again and again and again and again.

2. Bruce Springsteen
"Born in the USA"
How could the National Review have missed this one? Ronald Reagan loved this patriotic song and used it during his campaign, which must have made Bruce Springsteen very proud. I love to sing the words aloud: "Something, something, something, etc./BORN IN THE USA!"

3. Silhouettes
"Get a Job"
The conservative welfare plan in three little words.

4. Godsmack
"Awake"
This song, used in Navy recruiting commercials, has persuaded many a young man to fight for his country in Iraq. The military has also started using their song "Sick of Life," to attract recruits that have a sense of irony.

5. Ten Year's After
"I'd Love to Change the World"
"Everywhere is freaks and hairies/Dykes and fairies, tell me where is sanity" This poignant plea for normalcy is as timely today as it was when people had actually heard of Ten Year's After.

6. Devo
"Jocko Homo"
No, it's not a gay song, but a powerful rebuke of Darwinism: "They tell us that/We lost our tails/Evolving up/From little snails/I say its all/Just wind in sails/Are we not men?"

7. U2
"Bullet in a Blue Sky"
"Across the field you see the sky ripped open/See the rain through a gaping wound/Pounding on the women and children/Who run/Into the arms/Of America." Who loves America more than Jesse Helms' friend Bono?

8. Meat Loaf
"I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)"
In these times where it seems anything goes, Meat Loaf reminds us there are limits.

9. Billy Joel
"We Didn't Start the Fire"
Billy Joel's stirring rebuke to the blame America first crowd.

10. Iggy Pop
"I'm a Conservative"
"When you're conservative you get a better break/You're always on the right side" This is so true.

11. Barry Sadler
"Ballad of the Green Berets"
"Fighting soldiers from the sky/Fearless men who jump and die/Men who mean just what they say/The brave men of the Green Beret." If it weren't unmanly to cry I'd be tearing up right about now.

12. Neil Young
"Let's Roll"
If he wrote more songs like this and stopped writing songs that dis Lynyrd Skynyrd and our President, I wouldn't have signed the petition to have him deported back to Canada.

13. Bob Dylan
"Gotta Serve Somebody"
Bob Dylan used to write good, Christian songs with words you can understand. What happened to him?

14. Genesis
"Illegal Alien"
The message of this song: Stay home because "it's no fun being an illegal alien."

15. Paul Anka,
"(You're) Having My Baby"
What more could a woman want out of life than to have Paul Anka's baby? And the idea of aborting it never even enters her mind.

16. James Brown
"It's a Man's Man's Man's World"
"…but it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl." Don't ever let it be said that Republican soul singer James Brown doesn't value the contribution of women. Honorable mention: "Living in America."

17. Beatles
"Happiness Is a Warm Gun"
There are so many great conservative Beatles songs. The National Review had two, "Taxman" and "Revolution," but I especially love this celebration of gun ownership. I'm sure that John Lennon would be a member of the NRA if he were alive today since he was a great believer in individual freedom.

18. Byrds
"Turn, Turn, Turn"
All the lyrics come from the Bible, which is, of course, conservative.

19. TLC
"No Scrubs"
You need a steady income to buy the key to these girls' hearts. Clearly, they are going to end up with Republican men.

20. Gang of Four
"I Love a Man in Uniform"
Who doesn't? I mean, not in a gay way.

21. Pet Shop Boys
"Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)"
A great song about the virtues of capitalism.

22. The Village People
"In the Navy"
A moving tribute to our fighting forces by a group of men who dress like real men from a time when no one had ever heard of a metrosexual.

23. Ted Nugent
"I Just Wanna Go Hunting "
It's a mystery why the most prominent conservative, NRA card-carrying, non-drug-taking, beef jerky-selling rock 'n' roller was left of the National Review's list.

24. Pink Floyd
"Another Brick In The Wall, Part II"
"We don't need no education." Clearly, this is an argument for home schooling.

25. Jennifer Lopez
"Jenny from the Block"
Liberals think there is something wrong with making money but as JLo proves, making a lot of money didn't make her any more arrogant than she already was.

26. Puff Daddy
''All About the Benjamins''
Money, guns and women who know their place. The Republican Party really should make some overtures to the gangsta rap community. I wonder why there was no hip hop on the National Review list.

27. Band-Aid
"Do They Know Its Christmas?"
"Well tonight thank God it's them/instead of you" I don't think I've ever seen a better summation of the conservative view of the rest of the world. If this were truly a liberal song it would be called "Do They Know It's a Holiday."

28. Barrett Strong
"Money (That's What I Want)"
Which is nothing to be ashamed of.

29. Gorillaz
"Dirty Harry"
"I need a gun to keep myself from harm." A tribute to the Second Amendment, although since they live in England the amendment probably has a different number.

30. Limp Bizkit
"My Way"
"Some day you'll see things my way," is something I'm constantly saying to liberals.

31. Morrissey
"Bengali in Platforms"
"Life is hard enough when you belong here," Morrissey sings, meaning you'll be a lot happier if you just stay in your own country. Abstinence proponent Morrissey is one of the great conservatives in pop music today.

32. Nelly
"Air Force Ones"
Hip Hop is full of great entrepreneurs, but it took Nelly to come up with the innovative idea of skipping the step of selling his song for use in a commercial by making the song itself a commercial.

33. Beastie Boys
"Fight for Your Right (to Party)"
Civil rights, schmivel rights. Here's a fight a conservative can really back wholeheartedly.

34. Crosby Stills Nash and Young
"Ohio"
"Should have been done long ago," CSN&Y sing about the shooting of anti-war protesters at Kent State, which sounds harsh but true. A cautionary song about what could happen when you protest against the government.

35. Nick Lowe
"Cruel to be Kind"
Conservatives are often accused of not caring about the less fortunate, but as this song illustrates we really do actually care even when it seems we are being cruel and unfeeling.

36. Bruce Cockburn
"If I had a Rocket Launcher"
Just another rock 'n' roll fantasy.

37. Beach Boys
"In My Room"
Brian Wilson's celebration of abstinence.

38. The Rascals
"People Got To Be Free"
Any song that talks about freedom is conservative, of course.

39. Kinks
"Village Green Preservation Society"
"God save little shops, china cups and virginity." Ray Davies, whose "Twentieth Century Man" made the National Review list, may be the most conservative songwriter in rock. Honorable mention: "Young Conservatives" and "Sunny Afternoon," where he sings "The tax man's taken all my dough."

40. Randy Newman
"Political Science"
"We give them money-but are they grateful?/No, they're spiteful and they're hateful/They don't respect us--so let's surprise them/We'll drop the big one and pulverize them" I bet this song is on Wolfewitz's Ipod.

41. Guns N Roses
"One in a Million"
Axl Rose's "Anti-Immigrant Song."

42. Bob Marley
"Redemption Song"
"Have no fear for atomic energy." Marley's "song of freedom" from the "mental slavery" of environmentalism.

43. Toby Keith
“Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)”
"You’ll be sorry that you messed with/The U.S. of A./'Cause we'll put a BOOT in your ass/It's the American way."
President Bush now says he regrets the tough language he used but I'm sure Toby Keith doesn't.

44. Edgar Winter Group
"Frankenstein"
I included this song because the National Review list included "Godzilla," though I'm not sure why. I think it's because monsters are conservative for some reason.

45. Lee Greenwood,
"God Bless the U.S.A."
"I'm proud to be an American/where at least I know I'm free." I almost didn't include this song because the "at least" sounds suspiciously liberal.

46. Outkast
"Bombs Over Baghdad"
A tribute to our soldiers fighting in Iraq.

47. Madonna
"Papa Don't Preach"
Although this song does seem to approve of pre-marital sex, it is one of the few anti-abortion pop songs. Runner-up: Madonna's "Material Girl."

48. Britney Spears
"Oops...I Did It Again"
Bush supporter, wife, mother and role model Britney Spears doesn't feel the need to apologize for her "mistakes" because the men who might have thought she led them on should take personal responsibility for their actions.

49. Ozzy Osbourne
"Thank God for the Bomb"
Family man and anti-animal rights activist Ozzy Osbourne's salute to the policy of mutually assured destruction (MAD).

50. Buddy Holly
"That'll Be the Day"
What could be more conservative than a song that takes its title from a John Wayne quote?

Update: Medulla Noodle disagrees with some of my choices.

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92 comments:

Jen said...

Very nicely done!

Jeff said...

Bobby McFerrin and Paul Anka and more monster songs--I have hope for conservatives after all. Hey! You gotta be cruel to kind, dit dit dit ditdit.

Jae said...

How could you forget Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin" We be Big pimpin spendin G's. Clearly he is endorsing spending which will add to the economy and encourages others to gaining funds which comes from working! Some call him a rapper. Clearly he is a visionary!

BenMerc said...

Great job Jon, and I don’t mean to be picky, But...

Ya forgot the other line in that Alvin Lee song that has been a mantra at RNC get togethers for years: "Tax the rich, feed the poor, till the rich are rich no more" Here is what I think happened to Al ‘s band and more then likely several others of the day, (it is no wonder they are all really Republicans). Apparently Al wrote this one (or something to the effect...it is from my memory, at 16 yrs old I had the Crickwood Green 8 track version of this tune) after moderate success had found him and the boys...they awoke from some post concert party haze and were handed their current tax bill... (along with the hotel bill) it appears they owed the government more then they had made at the time, (high cost of road touring etc.) Also, don’t forget the Beatles and “Tax Man” just where was all that fluffy social awareness when it came down to the Fab four's dough? Never the less as far as the lyrics being “not cool” for the day, I completely forgave Alvin for his self centered financial and political digressions because I was hooked on that sound he made ripping up and down the neck of his Gibson. Just imagine, 35 + years later and Ten Years After is more relevant the ever, gee I would never had guessed, wow…farm out.

John Ruberry said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
John Ruberry said...

Here's what I added on Marathon Pundit:

Jon Swift has his own list of 50 conservative rockers. Obviously he's a big Kinks fan, he's got the obscure but precious Village Green Preservation Society on his list. Animal Farm from the same album is also fits in this category.

g1lgam3sh said...

Bliss :-)

Mike said...

Man, I have never laughed so hard, uhg, I mean, I have never laughed so conservatively!

The Liberal Avenger said...

Nice post!

K T Cat said...

You missed the very best one of all! Sorry for the vanity post, but here's the details:

http://ktcatspost.blogspot.com/2006/05/national-review-owes-us-all-apology.html

Mark said...

I salute you sir! That was... awesome...

Don't worry, be happy!!!

belledame222 said...

That's beautiful, man.

although my #1 choice would have to be

"Bang Your Head"

Alon Levy said...

I'm pretty sure the number one conservative song would be "Fight to Live" by Bouncing Souls.

"Live to fight, fight to live" seems to summarize conservative foreign policy well.

Anonymous said...

Amazing that Huey Lewis didnt make either list.

It's Hip to be Square!

filkertom said...

Hee hee. For a conservative you're damn all right.

J Crowley said...

I'd have included Pink Floyd's "In the Flesh":

"Are there any queers in the theater tonight? / Get 'em up against the wall! / There's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me... / Get 'im up against the wall. / And that one looks Jewish! / That one's a coon! / Who let all this riff-raff into the room? / There's one smoking a joint! / And another one's got spots! / If I had my way, I'd have all of you shot!"

It's a fierce ballad against immigration, civil rights, and drug use, among other things, while strongly advocating our Second Amendment rights.

J Crowley said...

Erm, sorry, posted before I was finished. I wanted to also say:

Still a great list, though. Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Papa Don't Preach, Turn Turn Turn, You're Having My Baby -- sorry, the conservatives have actually appropriated those ones!

http://www.townhall.com/phillysoc/bartlettpaper.htm

zenyenta said...

Did anyone include "Beat On the Brat", by the Ramones. Tough love is very conservative.

john_m_burt said...

One little mistake:

Frasnkenstein's monster is not a conservative. He's got no family, no money, he's homeless, he's a rebellious slave...how conservative is that?

If you want a conservative monster, how about Dracula? Old family, old money, has a well-developed and long-established special relationship with the people who live around his castle....

Doodle Bean said...

Great List! I much prefer it to the NR one!

However, you did forget Pink's "Dear Mr. President". She is calling our Dear Leader "Dear", so it must be very patriotic!

Chris Clarke said...

Nice list, but in light of your gratuitous apostrophizing of "Ten Years After," I may have to rethink my civility policy.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, the moment I hit Born in the USA at #2, one of the most anti conservative/capitalist songs you could ever listen to, I knew you either didn't know your subject matter, or were being facetious... Yes, Reagan used it, and it only highlighted the right's inability to understand anything beyond a short catchphrase. To sum up the song, to be be american is to die in unjust wars, find it impossible to find work or a make a decent living, and live in complete hopelessness. "Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go"

nikkos said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting (nice template, btw).

I stopped by to get your take on the list and it took me a moment or two to realize that you're serious about your list.

David Porta said...

Hi,

I was just reading Miller's article where he links to your blog. John's email arrived before I got even 4 paragraphs into Miller.

John:
They are really stretching the boundaries of "conservative" with some of these. (Remember Reagan touting Springsteen's "Born In The USA"?)

Me:
The irony is that Bruce's attempt at irony was smothered by his own catchy music and the simple refrain.

I recall the late Keith Greene, who helped popularize Christian Pop-Rock in the late '70s early '80s, saying something like, "I want people to listen to the lyrics, not be overwhelmed by my catchy tunes." (He died in a small plane crash in '82.)

Maybe guys who want people to listen to the lyrics shouldn't write such catchy tunes, much less ironic refrains.

---

I hit "Send" and continued reading the article, then the links.

I fell out of my seat laughing as I read your list.

And I of course immediately emailed John with a follow-up.

Me:
One conservative blogger makes the same point I just made in my reply to you about the Boss, but much funnier than me.

-----

Ah, the power of humor!

blue girl said...

Great post, Mr. Swift.

No one's mentioned "Stairway To Heaven" yet. I'm surprised.

coturnix said...

Heavy Horses by Jethro Tull is all nostalgic about the good old days.

And, isn't Lennon's Imagine a song about the world after the Rapture, the world Left Behind after the conservatives are all up in the sky?

Jon Swift said...

Great suggestions from everybody. I'm afraid that there won't be any liberal rock songs left after we've finished co-opting them all for the right.

Anonymous said...

As a somewhat conservative rock fan that actually sent several suggestions to Miller last year, I laughed out loud at your list.

Very funny stuff, especially the Springsteen item (I remember cringing when the Reagan Campaign tried to coopt that one!) It's a great song, too.

Congratulations on a good read. Let's demand minority rights for rockin' conservatives and liberals with a sense of humor!

Anonymous said...

Happiness is a Warm Gun is about doing heroin.

Brando said...

Good stuff. I am still reeling from the NR list. I mean, "Bodies"? Yeah, it's against abortion, but did they make it to "Anarchy in the UK," or just put the disc on repeat?

I also thought of one more with the appropriate NR reasoning:

"Don't Stand So Close to Me" by the Police, a celebration of abstinence and reigning in one's precious bodily fluids. It also seems eerily prescient about the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal.

lo-fi said...

In The Flesh - Pink Floyd
It has that Big Tent Party thing going on.

Big Truck Driver - Mystikal
Honk! Honk! Filla up wit da hi test, Fool.

Mexican Radio - Wall Of Voodoo
Leggo my Huevo.

juste milieu said...

I'm glad you liked my list of The 49 Most Conservative Madonna Songs.

I think your addendum is great. It answers a lot of questions brought up in the first list.

Batocchio said...

Some brilliant stuff. The "something, something something/ BORN IN THE USA!" bit was one of my favorites, however!

Anonymous said...

Jon,

I think you missed In-A-Godda-Da-Vida because it is about God inviting Adam & Eve into the Garden of Paradise. Maybe you discounted it because Iron Butterfly were too loaded to pronounce In the Garden of Eden.

On second thought it could have been the serpant inviting Eve to eat the apple which would be Liberal.

Serpants do not have hands so-nevermind.

Bruce

slate said...

Brilliant!

Another Alvin Lee note. You left out the most conservative line in the song! Clearly he was hoping for a monarchy of some sort when he wrote it.

"I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do,
SO I LEAVE IT UP TO YOUUUUUU!"

I think our President should make Dick Cheney sing that to him every morning, er, maybe the other way around. Whatever works.

g1lgam3sh said...

He was a real Conservative American.




He had a 'Western' moustache.



He had an ethnic name.




He stood tall, wide and On for the real American Dream.





He wrote Kosmic Debris.





He was, frankly, a patriotric American.

g1lgam3sh said...

'patriotric'

Clearly working 60 hours a week attempting to finish our National Stadium is taking its toll on my ability to speak my own language.

*shrug*

C'est la vie..

Anonymous said...

I would like to add " It"s Hard Out Here For a Pimp". An Oscar winner, no less. But an eloquent anti-sex, anti-crime, anti-gangster anthem. And a real Horatio Alger story, too.

Anonymous said...

Opportunties is about criminals. And while I feel that there are many capitalist criminals, I think somehow that wasn't what you had in mind.

You forgot Nirvana's In Bloom. It's the number one conservative rock song. Conservatives love it because it talks about shooting guns, and liberals find it sad, because the whole point of the song is that conservatives don't actually listen to the lyrics of the songs.

Also you should check out FischerSpooner's "We Need a War". The sentiment is exactly that of Bush and the Bush Doctorine. It's written sarcastically, but obviously that doesn't matter for your list.

Anonymous said...

"31. Morrissey
"Bengali in Platforms"
"Life is hard enough when you belong here," Morrissey sings, meaning you'll be a lot happier if you just stay in your own country. Abstinence proponent Morrissey is one of the great conservatives in pop music today."

"Margaret on the Guillotine" (as in Thatcher) is on the same album. Because you know, conservatives were all about cutting Thatcher's head off back in the day.

James Killus said...

You are an inspiration, sir:

1. All Along the Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix. A salute to the religious values of the Jehovah’s Witnesses

2. Don’t Fear the Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult. After we repeal the Death Tax, no one will ever have to fear death again.

3. Barracuda – Heart. A love song to the winners in the Capitalist Meritocracy.

4. I Can See for Miles – The Who. Miles, dammit, not those foreign kilometers.

5. The Great Nations of Europe – Randy Newman. No multiculturalism for our boy Randy. He knows the importance of Dead White Men in world history.

6. The Boys of Summer – Don Henley. What can be more patriotic and conservative than a song about baseball?

7. Destroy All Lawyers – Mojo Nixon. ‘Nuff said.

8. Volunteers – Jefferson Airplane. We’d fight if the Army were all volunteer, sang a generation, and America heard their request.

9. Senator’s Son – Creedence Clearwater Revival. Apparently even John Fogerty was relieved that Al Gore lost the Presidency.

10. Every Breath You Take – The Police. “…I’ll be watching you.” And doesn’t that give us all comfort, to have the Police watching over us?

Knemon said...

"rebuke of Darwinism"

Not quite.

DEVO = Devolution.

Not a rebuke of Darwinism, just a reversed trajectory.

David C. Jordan said...

Still can't bring closure to the last two
election cycles, eh?

Gotta move on! No?

Anonymous said...

born in the usa was a protest song written about a buddy he lost in 'nam...didn't read past that

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the good laugh. Clearly you have no idea of what you’re talking about. Saying that John Lennon would be a conservative if he were alive in a not ironic way is plainly ignorant.

John Dietzel said...

LOL!

I like your list much better than the National Review 50.

But partly because of the added humor.

People can read into song lyrics to find a purported ideology even when they lack the context in understanding the artist and their intention.

An example: Morrissey may be conservative in lifestyle (so am I in many ways as an ex-mormon) but I believe his real ideology is far from anything the conservatives, particularly of late, champion (with few exceptions).

The war I'm sure being one of the bigger concerns. You might as well petition him back to his native country along with Neil young.

Suldog said...

I think the funniest part of this whole thing (and it is very funny) is the people who don't get it and leave a comment telling you how much of a dope you are.

Anonymous said...

You are right to point out the absurdity of NR's list of "conservative" rock songs.

For example, number 20, "Rock the Casbah" clearly doesn't belong on that list. We know for a fact that conservatives want to help Arabs and bring them democracy, not blow them up.

John Salmon said...

You do Randy Newman's Political Science is making fun of conservatives, right? Sure, it's a ridiculous parody of what conservatives believe (it's a great song anyway), but it is meant to be a put-down.

Anonymous said...

Quote:
I'd have included Pink Floyd's "In the Flesh":
...
It's a fierce ballad against immigration, civil rights, and drug use, among other things, while strongly advocating our Second Amendment rights.


What?? Hello, have you ever listened through the entire album. The Wall is about "the wall" we put up between ourselves and reality and the lies we sometimes hide behind because it makes up feel safer. In The Flesh is a fierce ballad against the blindness of the tyranny of the majority who often times persecute minorities in the name of "its our right" or "thats immoral" or otherwise alienate them because they lead a different way of life.

Also the Wall Part II is not calling for home schooling. Even someone who has heard the song once should be able to pick out the meaning. Its a criticism of the tendency of our education system to try to force feed ideas into student's minds to form perfect little workers for society to employ. The complaint is that it stifles free will and creativity.

Mike said...

Happiness is a Warm Gun? I'm not sure about that. I mean, the U.S. was considering deproting John Lennon because of his leftist ideals, so i'm not sure.

iphi said...

You forgot the greatest of all: Chumbawamba - Dear Tony. A love letter to Tony Blair.

Jon said...

Master and Servant by Depeche Mode...need I say more????

Anonymous said...

This is a joke right? Have you listened to the lyrics of half those songs?

Anonymous said...

Wow...read the lyrics of "Born in the USA". They are anything but patriotic. Which is the beauty of The Boss's lyrics because the anthemic chorus makes all you square-headed cocksuckers think it's a flag-waving theme song. Learn how to read a set of lyrics morons.

Anonymous said...

i would be sad to have a limp bizkit song on my list. And you should check your neil young facts, no dissing Skynyrd, just Southern Men who like to hang black people...Skynyrd happened to be Neil fans by the way..ouch that must hurt..and Ohio def. does not belong on the list..I think you are either a moron or deaf

Anonymous said...

You make me sick! How could you ever find any conservative meanings in "Redemption Song" or "Born in the USA" What Bob actually wanted to say, and what you don't wanna hear is that you can't scare anyone with your nuclear rocket-penis-substitute. And Bruce's Song is about what is expected of you if you're born in the Us, and most importantly, that he objects to that. If you read one line of lyrics, you gotta read the next one, too. These are just 2 examples and I could name 47 more(You got that Redneck Toby Keith, I'll give you that). People like you are just ignorant. You hear what you wanna hear, just like FOX shows what they wanna show. And I'm not even discussing your views on things, it's just about how you find excuses to have them. Good thing I'm living in Europe, otherwise the chief Inquisor would torture me for writing this. Tell you what: Nobody's gonna vote for a conservative that thinks Bob Marley's Songs are conservative. You, and Rush and Bill, you can all go to church and pray for abstinense, after you made up the newest opinion you're poisoning people's mind with through biased media. And now, for the farewell, here's to all you conservatives out there: God f*ck you and your f*ck*ng America!
The real angry American

Anonymous said...

loving the people who don't get that this is satire - they must be real conservatives.

a said...

What about Dead Kennedy's "Kill the Poor"?

Anonymous said...

the people who dont understand this have me rolling around on the floor laughinh.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the angry folks who don't "get the joke" are really themselves playing the role of a person who "doesn't get the joke". Much in the same way the people who do "get the joke" add their own dead pan suggestions for top conservative songs that clearly build upon the satirical premise?

Anonymous said...

Let's not forget "Tigger's Theme" from Winnie the Pooh. Tigger cheerfully trumpets the benefits of genetic engineering when he sings "Their heads are made out of rubber, the bottoms are made out of springs" and then caps off his declaration with a double attack on both evolutionists and tree-hugging environmental alarmist with his pro-creationist, pro-extinction statement "and the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one!" How could he be the only one? God created him out of nothing, just as he created everything on earth!Is he worried about being the only one. No! This is because he has obviously accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and understands that since the fall of Adam and Eve the world has been a forsaken place. He places no value on such wordly concerns because his true life awaits in Heaven.

Jellsbury said...

Is this a joke? "Imagine no religion..." quoth John Lennon. As for Randy Newman, "Lord, if you won't take care of us, won't you please just let us be?" His song "Political Science" is SATIRE. And "Born in the USA" is an anti-Vietnam song. Listen to the songs carefully next time before you make a fool of yourself.

Anonymous said...

LOL, this is hilarious!!! Almost as funny as the real list of 50 Conservative Rock Songs, since only 1 or 2 artists on it are actually conservative.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA wow i was about to start yelling at you about how stupid you were.
I do think that this joke is very well played though, and for all you conservatives who actualy think that this is real, well i guess i should just expect that about a conservative.

Chester said...

Are you fucking retarded, or just slow?

Anonymous said...

very clever, i almost missed it. i just wanted to add that "bombs over baghdad" was intended as an antiwar song but turned into a prowar anthem, to the dismay of the artists.

Anonymous said...

The Bible is Conservative? Better not let Jesus hear you say that.

Anonymous said...

Ummm... "Born in the USA" is about an American who returns to America after Vietnam and feels rejected. It is more of a bitter song than one about a conservative idea.

Flug Los Angeles said...

Hmmm, as you can see on the comments of my previous poster you can see that not all of the songs are conservative. I love your idea, but rock once was the greatest opposite of conservatism, wasn´t it? Anyway, great work and a great list with great songs on it.

Anonymous said...

you forgot "Stick Me for My Paper" by Biggie Smalls an amazing defense of property rights and anthem against gun control.

Anonymous said...

and lets not forget

Sunny Afternoon-The Kinks

Anthem-Rush (Libertarian)

Dallas said...

Holy moly!

I know that song..."something something something, BORN IN THE USA!, something something something..."

Good tunes, man.

Bruce wasn't too happy, the big lib, in fact, he was highly perturbed that a REPUBLICAN would dare use his obviously ironic song mocking American patriotism as a Patriotic Campaign song!

www.offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Your website is an inspiration. I have been reviewing the GOP's use of music and was very concerned that we repeatedly used a song by AC/DC at the RNC. Sarah Palin also used this song at a number of her rallies. For some reasons, some of our most loyal followers (deligates) were even dancing to this music!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cN1TCdoB238

I have always taught my Sunday School School students that this is the devil's music which is a well documented fact.

I can't help but think that Jesus is punishing the GOP for our use of this Satanic music during the election.

Yours in Faith
-Billybobgraham

socalmike said...

Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart - "give your free will a chance / you've got to work to succeed". Sounds pretty conservative to me.

Atticus said...

Hmmm..... Did you listen to some of these songs? Seriously Born in the USAI had a brother at Khe Sahn
Fighting off the Viet Cong
They're still there, he's all gone
He had a woman he loved in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms now
Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run ain't got nowhere to go

umm ya This song is about the conflict of patriotism and seeing what was happening in Vietnam.

Umm maybe you got some others right.
Well let's look at the Iggy Pop song. I listened to it twice and realized it was a giant satire. I bet a 2 year old could actually figure that out.
K that's 2 strikes.

Here's a third. well I won't actually count this one
Let's Roll by Neil Young is a song about love and has nothing to do with conservative, except one could say is not conservative in the manner that he seems to be asking for sex before he was married

Well the kinks song is a big swing and a miss to continue my metafor

Ill just paste the whole lyrics
We are the village green preservation society
God save donald duck, vaudeville and variety
We are the desperate dan appreciation society
God save strawberry jam and all the different varieties
Preserving the old ways from being abused
Protecting the new ways for me and for you
What more can we do
We are the draught beer preservation society
God save mrs. mopp and good old mother riley
We are the custard pie appreciation consortium
God save the george cross and all those who were awarded them
We are the sherlock holmes english speaking vernacular
Help save fu manchu, moriarty and dracula
We are the office block persecution affinity
God save little shops, china cups and virginity
We are the skyscraper condemnation affiliate
God save tudor houses, antique tables and billiards
Preserving the old ways from being abused
Protecting the new ways for me and for you
What more can we do
God save the village green.

It is talking about moving foward and not being caught on all the little things that held society down.

Sorry for necroing this thread but you Jon Swift are a total and utter idiot and I very hope you read this. I am actually hoping this was a satire because the first 4 songs I recognized didnt fit in the theme (though I admit it would be an aweful satire)

Anonymous said...

Fight the Good Fight, Triumph; Raise a Little Hell (..if you see something wrong why don't you right it..), Trooper; Love is Like a Rock, Donnie Iris; I Won't Back Down, Tom Petty; Eve of Destruction, Barry McGuire; That Smell, Lynyrd Skynyrd (anti-drug) and also Monkey on Your Back, Aldo Nova.

Anonymous said...

Wow dude youre retarted. Find out that "something something" in Born in the U.S.A. and youll see how its not patriotic, is anti Vietnam.

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viagra online said...

Happiness is a Warm Gun? I'm not sure about that. I mean, the U.S. was considering deproting John Lennon because of his leftist ideals, so i'm not sure.

أبل said...

good list here i know many of them

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Anonymous said...

I think your mistaking satire and sarcasm as right wing ideals...no you're just stupid.

Nullifidian said...

You left out that paean to patriotism, Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son".

"Some folks were born | made to wave the flag | ooh the red, white, and blue."

Hey, if Wrangler can use just that snippet in one of their ads, why can't you?

Anonymous said...

Phil Oches - Love me I'm a Liberal!

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mandolin picks said...

Thank you for this list but I have to say, you somehow missed the meaning of “conservative” in some songs especially with “Born in the USA.” Well, we have different views and interpretations of music, so I am just glad you have a better list than NR.

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