Saturday, March 15, 2008

Hillary Clinton Supporters at Daily Kos Go On Strike!

Many Republicans have despaired about whether there is any chance of electing a Republican as President in November (if you count John McCain as a Republican). But increasingly many Republicans are saying, "Yes we can!"

The bitter rift in the Democrat party between supporters of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton seems to be getting worse and worse and just split wide open on the Daily Kos. Alegre a diarist at the Daily Kos, is fed up with the nasty personal attacks against Clinton supporters on the site and made a stunning announcement: that supporters of Hillary Clinton were going on "strike," that is they would no longer post diaries there. "I've decided to go on 'strike' and will refrain from posting here as long as the administrators allow the more disruptive members of our community to trash Hillary Clinton and distort her record without any fear of consequence or retribution," she wrote.

Daily Kos founder and President for Life Markos Moulitsas responded with characteristic sensitivity to her concerns. "First, these people should read up on the definition of 'strike.' What they're doing is a 'boycott.'" He said. What Markos was saying, I think, is that not only are supporters of Clinton traitors to the liberal cause, they are incredibly stupid as well. They have been posting on his site for free for all of this time while Markos has been raking in money and not sharing one cent of it with them, which certainly cannot be characterized as an employer-employee relationship as anyone who has taken an Economics 101 class and is not a dunderheaded Clinton supporter would know. Although Markos suggested that the word "boycott" would be more appropriate than "strike," I think the word he was looking for was "slave revolt," since "slave" is a much more appropriate term for someone who works for no pay while the plantation owner enriches himself. The word "slave," however, has certain unfortunate racial connotations that he probably felt it would be best not to raise, so he went with the word "boycott" instead.

But of course this battle is about more than just semantics. What has especially irked Clinton supporters about Obama supporters at the Daily Kos is that Kossacks for Obama have learned what politics is really about. Politics is not about getting someone elected or changing the world, which anyone who has taken a look at the ability of the Daily Kos to actually get people elected should know. Politics is about feeling good about yourself. Who cares if Obama gets beaten in the general election; he will make everyone who voted for him feel really good inside. That's how Ralph Nader made people who voted for him feel in 2000. It didn't matter whether he had a chance to win or not, it only mattered that his supporters didn't feel icky by voting for Al Gore or George Bush.

For many Democrats, voting for Hillary Clinton would make them feel icky. Even if she somehow gets the nomination, many of them will probably stay home, or vote for Ralph Nader, who is running again so that he can feel good about himself by making people feel good about themselves. Then their souls will remain pure and not be sullied by voting for someone who gets elected and does something they don't like. That's much more important than who becomes president. I don't know what the average age of Kossacks is but judging by the level of their writing, it appears that most of them weren't even born when Bill Clinton was President. But they have studied enough history in school to know how terrible those years of peace and prosperity were since they directly led to the war and economic downturn we are experiencing now and understandably they don't want to go back to that.

Obama supporters also understand that voting should never be about picking the lesser of two evils or about making a strategic choice. If you don't agree with everything your candidate says, believe he or she can do no wrong and think that the other candidate is evil and that everyone who supports him or her is a traitor, then you really have no business voting at all. That's what those of us who supported George Bush believed and look how great that has been for the country.

I have not endorsed any candidate because so far all of the candidates would make me feel icky. I was hoping that Alan Keyes would do better because I agree with him on almost every issue and I believed that voting for him would help heal the racial divide in this country and would prove that I am not a racist. Unfortunately, he seems to have dropped out of the race (though he hasn't made a formal announcement as far as I know), but I am hoping he will run as a third party candidate so that I can vote for him even if he has no chance of winning. I may just write him in as a candidate so that the next time someone accuses me of being a racist, I can tell them that I voted for Alan Keyes, so there.

No conservative can support John McCain in good conscience since he has betrayed us on so many issues from torture to immigration to campaign finance reform to judicial appointments to gay marriage. And many are worried that he is a Manchurian Candidate who was brainwashed in Vietnam. But if he spends the rest of the campaign repudiating all of his principles and turning his back on everything he believes, many of us might change our minds. So far he has made a very good start.

Many conservatives were hoping that Obama would get the Democrat nomination because we are so tired of the dirty politics of the Clintons and we wanted to have a real debate about the issues, such as whether it would be a good thing or a bad thing to elect a Muslim who hates America and is probably a Communist as President. We wanted to have a civil discussion about whether we should surrender in Iraq, raise everyone's taxes and use it to give free health care to freeloaders and destroy the moral foundations of our society by permitting gay marriage, which would lead to people marrying their livestock or their grandparents. Conservatives believe that this kind of debate would be good for the country.

My friend Tom Watson recently wrote a piece about an endangered species in the liberal blogosphere: the Clinton blogger. In his piece he cited this modest blogger as "the rare righty who doesn't hate Hillary." Of course, I don't hate anyone, so that is technically accurate. And although I have said in the past that electing Hillary Clinton President would destroy Western civilization as we know it, I also believe that sometimes it takes destroying a village in order to save it. Some conservatives have said that the best way to make this country realize what a terrible mistake it has made by turning its back on conservatism would be to elect Clinton President, which would soon have the American people begging us to come back. I do have some sympathy for these conservatives who are considering becoming "suicide voters" in the fall and voting for Clinton if she gets the nomination.

But the more I see these idealistic Obama voters who are so committed to their candidate and personally attack anyone who opposes them as traitors and idiots, the more I recall those idealistic days when I unquestioningly supported President Bush and believed anyone who opposed him was a terrorist sympathizer. If you close your eyes and read what Andrew Sullivan says about Obama (I know you can't read if you close your eyes, but with Sullivan you don't actually have to read his blog to know what he is saying), you can't help but recall his onetime fanatical support of President Bush and the War in Iraq and the scorched Earth tactics he used to attack those who opposed him. It might be worth seeing Obama get elected just to see how long it would take Sullivan to realize that Obama is the worst President ever and for him to excoriate him and back one of his opponents with the same romantic fervor.

When I think of the devotion and starry-eyed idealism of Obama supporters I wonder if I could really pull the lever for Hillary Clinton, even if I do believe that it would be best thing for the country to destroy it. I wonder if I could look at myself in the mirror and still love myself. Because, after all, feeling good about myself is what elections should be about. In the end it all comes down to me.

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109 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Many conservatives were hoping that Obama would get the Democrat nomination because we are so tired of the dirty politics of the Clintons and we wanted to have a real debate about the issues, such as whether it would be a good thing or a bad thing to elect a Muslim who hates America and is probably a Communist as President. We wanted to have a civil discussion about whether we should surrender in Iraq, raise everyone's taxes and use it to give free health care to freeloaders and destroy the moral foundations of our society by permitting gay marriage, which would lead to people marrying their livestock or their grandparents. Conservatives believe that this kind of debate would be good for the country."

You just made this Republican laugh very, very hard.

Unknown said...

and, on a related note, writers who support the band rush are on strike over at skippy.

Anonymous said...

"But the more I see these idealistic Obama voters who are so committed to their candidate and personally attack anyone who opposes them as traitors and idiots..."

I am Barack Obama, and I approve their message of hope and unity and change. Peace out, jerk off.

Anonymous said...

But they have studied enough history in school to know how terrible those years of peace and prosperity were since they directly led to the war and economic downturn we are experiencing now and understandably they don't want to go back to that.

Related, today on NPR, Jon Kyl, R-Az helped me understand that seven years after he left office, the reason our Army is in such bad shape is STILL because of Bill Clinton. Poor George Bush! Who realized that Clinton destroyed the army to such a degree that it couldn't be fixed in seven years!

probabilityZero said...

For many Democrats, voting for Hillary Clinton would make them feel icky. Even if she somehow gets the nomination, many of them will probably stay home, or vote for Ralph Nader, who is running again so that he can feel good about himself by making people feel good about themselves.
LOL!
Damnit, I shouldn't surf the internet while drinking. Now I have to clean my keyboard and monitor.

sashal said...

too bad there is no Nobel prize for great political satire/humor

Micgar said...

Jon-you aren't going to stoop to anus-chewing, are you? I think of you way too highly to do any anus-chomping.

Anonymous said...

Kos got it wrong again. A boycott is when I stop reading Daily Kos. Anyway it's more fun to read all the unreasonable conservative blogs and scream curses at my monitor.

BTW have you seen the nice blank rectangles that someone has kindly added, to block reading Alegre's post? It appears to be adapted from some spam-comment popup code.

Anonymous said...

For many Democrats, voting for Hillary Clinton would make them feel icky.

Yep. But I'll do it if I have to.

Don't make me have to, inside the Beltway Dems. I won't forget it.
~

Anonymous said...

I think I speak for many Democrats that while we may need the votes of Delusional-Americans in order to get elected, it's probably not a bad thing to have them far outside our party's mainstream. For once.

Honestly, how can anyone not see that this is over? I'm not an Obama guy, I just want Democrats to be elected. I fell in line behind Obama once it was obvious it was over (which is to say Wisconsin). What's wrong with these Clinton people that they can't see it?

Oh well. Good riddance. Delusional-Americans may have a lot of votes, but they make it hard to run a party. Go ahead, call me anti-Delusionalist. I don't care.

Anonymous said...

You are correct that people should not cast a ballot simply on the basis of how it makes a person "feel." Voting should express political will. My political will is admittedly unusual--I would like to destroy the Two-Party System's stranglehold on American democracy. The vote is only weapon I have and I refuse to waste it. I DO vote strategically and consistently (since 1968) to express my political will.

I know this sounds faintly ludicrous, but I'm a throwback to the late eighteenth century. Most of the Framers disliked and distrusted the very idea of organized political parties, or "factions" in the language of their day. James Madison, author of the Bill of Rights, condemned them as injurious to liberty.

I know that "factions" soon appeared and established themselves at the beginning of the nineteenth century, but those early parties bore no resemblance whatsoever to the Two Parties that have jointly monopolized power and political discourse for well over a century.

The only thing worse than Two-Party tyranny is One-Party tyranny. I will not vote for tyranny; that is the political will that I express when I cast my vote.

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't McCain be the "Hanoi" candidate and not the "Manchurian"?

liquiddaddy said...

Jon,

When it comes down to it, the Republicans will finally learn to call a spade a spade. Face it, honest conservatism requires forcing the MSM to report the truth about Hussein Osama: he's a black panther in sheep's clothing.

LD

Katrinka Yobotz said...

To answer your question, Alan Keyes has not dropped out of the race. He is still doing speaking engagements, while putting together a formal plan and announcement to continue in the race third party.

The Republican Party bosses made it clear that they want no part of returning power of government back to the people by allowing Alan Keyes to have a voice or be a choice in this election.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uOR8CcZuyFA

Part 1 http://youtube.com/watch?v=7KMceMU243k

Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTug7rwy7e0

Part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KgmHSKVZGA

www.alankeyes.com Be sure to read in the upper righthand corner the comments by pledge takers.

mw said...

Jon,
Great News! The STRIKE IS BROKEN! As a recent convert to Republicanism, I decided I could no longer stand by and let our beloved blogosphere go the way of the automobile industry or public schools and be destroyed by these socialist labor movements. It starts like this, and the next thing you know all major bloggers will be outsourcing to India rather than submit to the demands of these radicals. We can't let that happen.

I made the first move today. I took a recent blog post that some may consider Pro-Hillary, but was actually Anti-Olbermann (no worries - Kossacks cannot tell the difference). I carried that post right over the picket line, ignored the calls of "SCAB", and posted it at Daily Kos. It is done! The strike is over! Follow me my brothers and sisters - the way is clear! Pro-Hillary Anti-Labor Union SCAB Bloggers are once again free to post and be exploited and verbally abused at Daily Kos. You're welcome!

Anonymous said...

Once again, Modest Jon, you've batted it out of the park!

Anonymous said...

"too bad there is no Nobel prize for great political satire/humor"

ahh, exactly what are you talking about here?

Anonymous said...

LOL. I rarely find conservatives with a sense of humor but you actually made me laugh. Thanks.
Sincerely,
A Very Liberal Hillary Clinton Supporter Who Refuses to Vote for Barack Obama Even If It Means Having Another 4 Years of Republican Rule

W. Hackwhacker said...

Ah, yes, the extra-terrestrial, starry-eyed Obama supporters (I'm thinking those weirdos like Kent Conrad, Tom Daschle, Chris Dodd.. you know, those "left-coast crazies"!). My modest proposal: take a few steps back, a deep breath, and come to grips with the fact that Obama will win the nomination and the election.

Anonymous said...

"We wanted to have a civil discussion about whether we should surrender in Iraq, raise everyone's taxes and use it to give free health care to freeloaders and destroy the moral foundations of our society by permitting gay marriage, which would lead to people marrying their livestock or their grandparents."

You, like John "Ho Chi" McCain, are no true conservative.
You forgot to mention that the civil discussion would include debating how soon all illegal immigrants should be rounded up and sent back to where they came from.

Kathleen said...

I have to believe that Mr. Swift also posted these last few comments.

Too, too perfect. genius in fact.

J. said...

Heh.

On an (posssibly) unrelated note, the word verification that I have to input for this comment is pinyin chinese for "the tin is embarassed."

Anonymous said...

Jon Swift said:

" My friend Tom Watson recently ... cited this modest blogger as "the rare righty who doesn't hate Hillary." Of course, I don't hate anyone, so that is technically accurate. "

Of course since you are really not, it really isn't.

Anonymous said...

Jon Swift said:

" Many conservatives were hoping that Obama would get the Democrat nomination because we are so tired of the dirty politics of the Clintons and we wanted to have a real debate about the issues, such as whether it would be a good thing or a bad thing to elect a Muslim who hates America and is probably a Communist as President. We wanted to have a civil discussion about whether we should surrender in Iraq, raise everyone's taxes and use it to give free health care to freeloaders and destroy the moral foundations of our society by permitting gay marriage, which would lead to people marrying their livestock or their grandparents. "


Thank you Jon, for once again using satire and irony to point out the injustice inherent in depriving sexual minorities of their natural right to self-expression, unconditional social acceptance, affiliation on demand, moral solidarity, and yes, and yes, even celebration!

As you know Jon, they can't help it.

And what can't be helped, must be affirmed as a positive good: just as with a hare lip, juvenile onset diabetes, autism, or collectivist political leanings.

Keep up the good work in constantly reminding us that buggers are people too ... perhaps the most Democratic in fact, of all people!

Murfyn said...

I have not actually read this blog, but it gets a lot of comments, so it must be very good.

Carl said...

Although Markos suggested that the word "boycott" would be more appropriate than "strike," I think the word he was looking for was "slave revolt," since "slave" is a much more appropriate term for someone who works for no pay while the plantation owner enriches himself.

Sir, it's also far easier to throw a fundraiser amongst your corporate cronies in the military-industrial complex by claiming you are the target of a boycott, than either a strike or a slave revolt.

See, "strike" implies a mutual decision arrived at after much negotiation that ultimately failed, placing part of the onus on the Simon Leg...I mean, owner.

As you point out, slave revolt has certain...ugly...connotations.

But boycott! Ah, see, now that sounds like a bunch of crazed loons who have targeted your company, like Fred Phelps targeted Ford, or at least some brown-skinned untermenschen, like Cesar Chavez.

And those martini glasses will be raised as high as your bank balance, if you can legitimize that trope.

Ergo, this is a fundraising ploy by Markos.

Anonymous said...

Mr Swift

"I don't know what the average age of Kossacks is but judging by the level of their writing, it appears that most of them weren't even born when Bill Clinton was President. But they have studied enough history in school to know how terrible those years of peace and prosperity were since they directly led to the war and economic downturn we are experiencing now and understandably they don't want to go back to that."

I am continually astonished by your ability to understand the " progressive mind", even though you are a conservative. As other commentators have pointed out if there was a nobel prize for satirical blogging, you would deserve to win. It should be universally recognised that you have a type of genius.

On a worrying note, however, have Americans - sorry I'm not one - even begone to consider that possibly both candidates are "Manchurian"? Apart from Obama's striking resemblance to Laurence Harvey - albeit with a marginally darker skin - he - like Senator McCain - has spent some of his formative years outside the country.

Questions need to be asked.


A disinterested observer

bitchphd said...

Ayup.

slag said...

"I don't know what the average age of Kossacks is but judging by the level of their writing, it appears that most of them weren't even born when Bill Clinton was President. But they have studied enough history in school to know how terrible those years of peace and prosperity were since they directly led to the war and economic downturn we are experiencing now and understandably they don't want to go back to that."

I'm not a kossack but I suspect that some of them have studied enough history in school to know how we lost the Congress and any semblance of real progressivism during the Clinton years.

Bukko Boomeranger said...

I must object to your use of the word "boycott" in reference to Mrs. Clinton, as she is not of the proper gender for the pronoun "BOY."

And don't even THINK about mentioning BOYcott in the same sentence as Mr. Obama. Even someone as conservative as you would not stoop that racistically low...

Carl said...

Bukko,

As a typical white American, I have no idea what you are talking about!

Carl said...

Slag,

Naturally, we measure that progressivism against the bracketing Bush administrations and realize how much truth you speak.

Clearly, President Clinton was not even a closeted conservative! Why, he was all for putting down the poor and the disadvantaged! Just look at Mr Bush's masterful ownership society for progressive policies! This is why we are so angry at him!

Chuck Butcher said...

I'm wondering how satirical the spin is going to get matching a saunter down a tarmac with a poem reading and sniper fire and a heads down rush as the 'public' version.

Anonymous said...

Jon,

You really have your work cut out for you now.

You were able (rhetorically at least)to tie David Vitter to Eliot Spitzer, and thus drag a Republican along for the ride you gave Spitzer.

But how will you spin Hillary's "Christmas in Cambodia" moment?

Yoke her to Limbaugh?

CMike said...

Hey, if Jon Swift is a conservative site how come all the writers here are respecting the picket line and not posting?

Bukko Boomeranger said...

Carl, perhaps you are too young to glom the "boy" reference, or I am too old to be chattering to you yoofs on teh Internets tubes.

When I was growing up, calling a black man "boy" was a fighting word. Hence the attempt at wordplay with "boycott." I suppose the stab at humour was too sly. There is no place for subtle japes on a good conservative site such as Swift's!

And I too am a typical white American; typical except for the fact that I moved out of the country because of George Bush. I couldn't stand how he was being pilloried in the liberal media, I mean, and had to get away from the negativity of all things associated with the Bush Administration.

Anonymous said...

I'm an Obama-loving Kossack myself, but I'll always enjoy your stuff, Jon. What's more, I've worked out a plan to offer 'amnesty' to the Hillaryites of the blogosphere, on behalf of Obamapersons everywhere.

I'm offering the hand of forgiveness to Paul Krugman this week. Then, every Sunday, I'll welcome a new Hillaryblogger back to the fold, finally finishing up with Susan Hu sometime in 2010...

The best part is, all this pernicious enthusiasm will have been bled out of the Democratic party by then, so we'll finally be able to recapture the salad days of 2007.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing more boring than a discussion where everyone agrees.

http://roadtoimmortality.wordpress.com/

Jaesoreal said...

I must agree with every issue a candidate speaks about. I was going to vote for Obama until I heard him order a burger and say hold the tomato. Anyone who doesn't like tomatoes clearly doesn't like America. (Tomatoes are red, the flag is red, white, and blue)

Stella by Starlight said...

My Esteemed Mr. Swift:

Seriously, I ask whether you are a big-endian or a little-endian. I find myself unsure of which side you use to tap your spoon.

Regards on another classic politic pamphlet, I remain,

Esther Johnson

James Higham said...

One can only hope.

Anonymous said...

Right. They should form the Hillarycist League.

Anonymous said...

Jon? Are you out there Jon?

Anonymous said...

If someone goes on a writers' boycott of their own blog, is it verboten to at least write a note informing the fan club of the decision? Or perhaps phone a co-conspirator so that that person can write it up?

Anonymous said...

Where is Jon Swift?

Anonymous said...

Great!!
I am really immmmpressed by ur thoughts dude.. good.

I liked ur blog and would keep coming here..

Faded said...

Mr. Swift is on strike, you sillies. He'll be back as soon as she concedes the victory to Ms. Clinton.

We all you miss you terribly! Someone Please inform her majesty that the show mustn't go on...

Anonymous said...

" Anonymous said...
Where is Jon Swift?

4/01/2008 7:26 PM"

Jon Swift, the pseudo-"reasonable conservative"?

Probably having a nervous breakdown from the strain of trying to figure out how to maintain his facade of casual irony, while the lefties spill their dirty laundry for all to see.

It must get hot marching around in that pantomime conservative skin, trying to provoke laughs, when the competition from his own party unintentionally generates so much uproarious laughter from the crowd.

Now that Mr. Debbie Stabenow (D. Michigan) has been caught by the police soliciting a 20 year old prostitute, Jon will have to go and drag through his files for Republican parallel.

For every Clinton, or Kennedy there must be a Harding. For every Eliot Spitzer or Barney Frank; a Vitter or Mark Foley.

Sometimes this blog of his must seem like it's more work that it's worth.

Well, for my money (spending none), it is worth it.

Jon does provide laughs.

Just not always in the way he obviously intends ...


" Thomas Athans, the husband of U.S. Sen. Debbie Stabenow and cofounder of a liberal talk radio network, told Troy police detectives that he paid a prostitute $150 for sex at a Troy hotel in late February, according to a police report obtained Wednesday by the Free Press under the Freedom of Information Act."

http://media.freep.com/pdf/0402athans.pdf

Anonymous said...

Please return, Jon.

old hack said...

hey friends screw politicians vote for me instead! show me some love and give me two clicks to help me get on the cover of the san francisco deli magazine

http://www.thedelimagazine.com/sf/vote.php

Anonymous said...

"Probably having a nervous breakdown from the strain of trying to figure out how to maintain his facade of casual irony, while the lefties spill their dirty laundry for all to see."

The reason why the various and manifold Republican sex scandals always bring joy to my heart is not that Republicans have sex scandals as such but that they have them in the context of their "principled" sanctimony.

A man cheating on his wife is a pathetic little tragedy. A professional queer hater cheating on his wife with some guy in a public toilet is the stuff of high comedy. I'l bet that even you can grasp the difference.

Anonymous said...

Mr Hepplewhite said...
"Probably having a nervous breakdown from the strain of trying to figure out how to maintain his facade of casual irony, while the lefties spill their dirty laundry for all to see."

The reason why the various and manifold Republican sex scandals always bring joy to my heart is not that Republicans have sex scandals as such but that they have them in the context of their "principled" sanctimony.

A man cheating on his wife is a pathetic little tragedy. A professional queer hater cheating on his wife with some guy in a public toilet is the stuff of high comedy. I'l bet that even you can grasp the difference.

4/04/2008 7:21 AM


Hi Mr. Hepplewhite.

You probably meant to say: "A professional queer hater "caught" cheating on his wife with some guy in a public toilet is the stuff of high comedy", didn't you?


After all, having public restrooms polluted by queer sexual activity, whether it be the activities the self-hating kind or not, is more an offense against public health than it is an example of high comedy. [Even accounting for the intrinsic ludicrousness of one sexually disordered male trying to orally or anally impregnate another. The environs also lending to that whole coprophiliac angle ...]

Wouldn't you agree?

Why, to quote one recent commentator here: "I'l bet that even you can grasp the difference."

Anonymous said...

"After all, having public restrooms polluted by queer sexual activity, whether it be the activities the self-hating kind or not, is more an offense against public health than it is an example of high comedy."

Here I thought that you might actually know what I am talking about, but I was wrong.

No, "conservative" queer haters getting caught is the stuff of high comedy. I know that since we have seen this comedy played out over and over again in recent years, your movement has raised the bar on the actual proof required. Since you people are not really known for requiring much proof of guilt in other contexts, I was initially confused by this. But after the first half dozen busts or so I realized that what you are really after are just the films themselves.

As for "public health threats", I can't really respond. I find public restrooms to be unhealthy places under any circumstances and usually spend as little time in them as possible. So I am afraid that I will have to bow to your experiences (although please forgive me if under the circumstances I reserve the right not to bow in your presence.)

Anonymous said...

anon --

You Greedy Old Perverts are just pissed that Democratic sex "scandals" are heterosexual, while yours are invariably Homo.

Closeted, self-hating freaks.


Sure, I knew you could grasp that

...difference

Carl said...

Bukko,

Carl, perhaps you are too young to glom the "boy" reference, or I am too old to be chattering to you yoofs on teh Internets tubes.

No no! As a typical white person, I understood precisely what you meant, but as a typical white person I had to play dumb or some darkies would assault me on a dark street!

Anonymous said...

Hi again Mr. Hepplewhite,

For a guy who says he has joy in his heart, you don't show much of it.

Bitter bitter bitter ...

This resentment obviously does you no good.

It only leads to your doing stupid things like placing phrases in quotation marks that are neither exact quotes, nor one would hope, examples of ironic bracketing.

After all, if as you say, you fear for the sake of your health to tread through public restrooms in the first place, you certainly can't imagine that the addition of sodomitic sexual activities will do much to improve the situation.

You imply that you think it can't get worse. So, you write these facilities off.

But isn't that like ignoring a rat problem at the local dump? (no pun intended)

Do you advocate simply shrugging, and turning these municipal facilities over to buggers and their peculiar interests? Think of the wasted tax dollars!

Not very civic minded of you.

What's next, bus stops, and parking garages?

Have you no compassion for the elderly, the feeble, the innocent, and those with enlarged prostates?

Haven't buggers enough places where they can pursue their fecal fascinations outside of civilization's publicly funded conveniences?

Not working off the theory that one man's trash is the homosexual's treasure, and that they have a gleaner's right to appropriate it, are you?

As for your last remarks about refraining from bowing before me: I can't tell whether you are engaging in the bashing of queer activities; or whether you are reassuring me, by promising not to threaten to fellate me yourself.

Are you, Mr. Hepplewhite, a hypocrite, or a "queer"?



Oh by the way, the next time you see pinki, ask him if catemite queens Barney Frank and Gerry Studds weren't in fact ... Democrat?

kamakula said...

Jon. this is ridiculous. I cannot tolerate your laziness. From now on, I'll be reading this blog:

http://kamakula.wordpress.com

If you do decide to return to the 'sphere, stop by and post there.

Bukko Boomeranger said...

I read your profile, Carl, but I thought you might have been lying about your age to appear older. I had that happen once when I responded to a singles ad thinking I was hooking up with a slightly overweight, bitter divorcee with a smoking habit, and she turned out to be a 20-something college coed who wanted an older man but was worried that her age and athletic figure might be a turnoff. You just don't know what to believe on teh Internets tubes...

Carl said...

Oh Bukko, I know precisely what you mean!

I was on tranniestrollingformen.com one night, and chatted up this lovely young man from Australia, and we agreed to meet, but after I paid his flight here, this cheerleader got off the plane!

As a reasonable conservative, I was aghast! So much so, I hid in the airport men's room, tapping my foot impatiently.

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Cheers ;)

Unknown said...

Jon..wtf is up man? no post in a month?

Dude..get off the couch and writeup something ok?

David Schantz said...

I might have some good news for you, I said might. The Constitution Party will hold it's Nomanation Convention the 23rd-26th of this month.I would not be surprised to see Alan Keyes get nomanated.

God Bless America, God Save The Republic.

Anonymous said...

You could come back if you wanted to, right?

Saskboy said...

If you've found a life outside of blogging, I'd appreciate you sending all of your readers my way ;-)
I'm not conservative, I'm not funny, and I'm not American, but I'm probably better than nothing :-)

Carl said...

I'm not conservative, I'm not funny, and I'm not American, but I'm probably better than nothing

Jury's still out on that one ;-)

Anonymous said...

Anonymous the fan wrote: " You could come back if you wanted to, right?

4/15/2008 8:19 PM"

Don't fear Anonymous-the-fan.

Jon probably could return, but is just too busy now.

I think I spotted him the other day at an Obama rally: worshipfully indignant, and homoerotically aroused, while tremulously inviting Obama to agree with him that Hillary was secretly guilty of thinking of Obama as "uppity" and not knowing his place.

Obama, to his credit, seemed to decline the plea.

I guess pasty faced white weakling liberal guys aren't to Obama's taste, no matter how willing they are to coyly abase themselves.

Thus, I predict Jon will soon be back.

SM said...

Okay, if it's for love (or lust, whatever) of Obama, I can bear it. But for heaven's sake just a little morsel here or there to keep us going, could ya?

CarolMR said...

saskboy: Jon Swift isn't conservative, either.

Anonymous said...

I think Rev. Dr. Swift has been kidnapped by liberals in much the same way as these late, lamented conservative bloggers were.

Anonymous said...

Noble Prize? What that is?? And that too for humor?? lol

Anonymous said...

carolmr- of course Jon Swift is a conservative. he says so himself, and if we've learned anything during the past 7 years under George Bush it's that anytime a conservative says something in the media a true patriot will accept it without asking questions.

HopeSpringsATurtle said...

Sir,

In our attempt to be fair and balanced, your blog has garnered the illustrious "Excellence in Blogging Award." I forward the link to your accolade here, and await our agreed upon honorarium for said services.

Sincerely, HopeSpringsATurtle

Anonymous said...

Taking a bit long of a hiatus, here, Mr. Swift. Has something gone amiss with your planned vacation to Guantanamo?

CarolMR said...

diddly: You honestly think George Bush is a conservative? Are you serious?

Anonymous said...

I think Diddly is as serious as any of the commenters here!

scott said...

Regarding new elections in Florida and Michigan, Senator Obama said we should play by the rules, I contend. In other words, we should not change the rules in the middle of the game.

Senator Bradley and Senator Daschle--both Obamanites--said the same thing as Obama. Play by the rules.

Play by the rules even though the voters of Florida and Michigan have been disenfranchised.

Ok.

Well, the rules also say that superdelegates can vote for Hillary even though most pledged delegates are for Obama.

Those are the rules. And we should not change the rules in the middle of the game, says Senator Obama, Senator Bradley and Senator Daschle.

I wonder if the corporate media will remind them that they are sticklers for the rules and for not changing the rules in the middle of the game.

I would imagine if the senators forget their rulesmanship it will look to the public as if they will say whatever they have to say in order to win. In other words, it will look as if they are practicing that old style politics they say they are so adamantly against.

For example, you might hear them say that superdelegates should be punished by the voters if they choose the rules over freedom and democracy.

Hmmmmm?

Then I suppose Obama, Bradley and Daschle should also be punished by the voters because they defended the rules against freedom and democracy for Florida and Michigan voters.

scott said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
scott said...

the corporate media is campaigning for obama it seems like to me.

i think this is because they know a black man cannot beat mccain in racist america.

scott said...

bush is not a conservative. he practices socialism for the rich.

Collin Williams said...

Boohoo! Hillary supporters fall for her crying too. Have you seen that campaign video? Do a youtube search for "Hillary for you and me" and then tell me if you care at all what her supports think or say... and sorry for the years of nightmares you'll have too.

Collin
www.rejectsociety.com

enigma4ever said...

okay so here it is MAY???? where are you ??? we are worried about you .....Let Someone know that you are okay....or we will have to send out the search dogs...

maybe you have primaryoverloaddisease...if so just let us know you are alright...

if you don't show up soon we will have to put you on a Milk Carton....

( stop by watergate summer anytime...)

Anonymous said...

Jon, you removed a comment that someone wrote on April 24th, which means you are checking your blog. If you have some family or medical issue, you should at least let your readers know.

This is too much. I will not be voting for you in any more blog award polls - like you, I just can't be bothered...

Bill W said...

.
50 Days and Counting wrote:
"Jon, you removed a comment that someone wrote on April 24th, which means you are checking your blog..."

Actually, the post was removed by the author of the comment, just as anyone can remove their own comment in blogger by clicking the lil trashcan icon.

Hopefully Jon has just taken a break as the primary season has drawn out way too long and turned ugly. That's my hope anyway.

Anonymous said...

While the result would be a travesty, the irony of Mcain being gifted the white house by a bruised and battered democratic party who spent their human and financial resources selecting a candidate is not lost. Still (and surely this polling has been done) how many democratic voters are going to stay home in november out of spite if there candidate loses? That number right there is a gift to Mcain whom moderates already seem to be warming to and who is using this time of democratic indecision to solidify his votes.

Rightwingsnarkle said...

Time to end your own strike, Jon.

Your country needs you.

Kilroy_60 said...

Hope all is well with you. If so, it's time for you to get back to work, bud. It's the Right thing to do.

Stumbling a bit today; stopped by to give you a big thumbs up

Stop by to let me know when you're back at it, eh.

Cheers!

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Anonymous said...

I think I'm beginning to understand all this...

It's kinda like 70's German cinema. Commence a film with 30 solid screen minutes of a single plane endlessly taking off and landing before even considering to start the narrative.

Anyone that still hasn't walked out by then must REALLY be there to see it. That's the audience you're speaking to...

You're the sadist. We're the masochists.

Do tell...

Ray Bridges said...

I'm worried about our dear Jon Swift. This is unpredictable. Please, Dr. Swift, give a signal that you are alright.

Patricia said...

I've begun to conclude that he can't give a signal that he's all right because he isn't. Anyone who has posted so steadily for so long and been scrupulous about letting everyone know when he's posting elsewhere just stopping. It's hard to come to an optimistic conclusion about this disappearance. I still hold a little hope that he's gotten a a richly deserved book deal but can't say so or something positive like that, but I'm increasingly afraid he got hit by a truck or something. In either case, I miss him. Or her. Whoever Jon Swift really is.

Anonymous said...

For those wondering what happened to Jon Swift, visit here:

http://bloggasm.com/where-in-the-world-is-blogger-jon-swift

Anonymous said...

For those wondering what happened to Jon Swift, visit here

Bukko Boomeranger said...

Thanks for the update, Simon. I tried to leave this comment on your Bloggasm site, but the hospital where I work has a proxy server on our network and your site rejected it, so I'll have to say it here. I can't be bothered to send it from my home computer.

I was entertained by "Swift's" erudite snark. He's a kinder, gentler faux-conservative, less over-the-top than Colbert, not as ribaldly silly as Jesus's General. It's not like I'm going to die without reading new material by Swifty, but I could sense that there was an intelligent, reasonable (albeit NOT conservative) person behind the screen name, and I was curious what happened. I'm glad he wasn't hit by a bus or kidnapped by Hillaryans. Or should that be Hillaryenas?

P.S. "John" -- now that I've said this, you really can't come back. It's your epitaph, mate. I don't want to be saying kind things about a blogger who's not deceased. In bloglife, that is.

Anonymous said...

I would have called them "volunteers" and their act of refraining from posting on Dkos, blessed relief.

G'night Gracie

WebbieLady said...

Isn't it a beautiful echo when the Republicans say 'yes we can'? Maybe it is time for world unity and peace... and the move, should start with them!

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