Thursday, October 23, 2008

Great Moments in Election-Year Blogging

No matter what happens in this year’s election, the conservative blogosphere deserves to win a collective Pulitzer Prize for its election-year coverage. While the mainstream media has given Americans a very distorted picture of Barack Obama, portraying him as a thoughtful, intelligent, unflappable, decent family man who has the temperament and judgment to be President, the conservative blogosphere has been the only place where you can get the real story. Hampered by quaint, old-fashioned rules of journalism that require citing evidence and reputable sources, the mainstream media has failed to report a number of important stories about Obama and the conservative blogosphere has had to step up and do the media’s job for them. As a public service I have collected some of the most important of these stories in one place. Pulitzer Prize judges, take note!

Some of the stories below are shocking and even hard to believe, but they weren’t published on crazy, fringe websites. They appeared on some of the most distinguished and well-respected sites on the Internet. The bloggers and online journalists who published them have staked their reputations and their sacred honor on the veracity of these reports. To doubt the truth of their findings, you would have to believe that an entire segment of the blogosphere has suddenly been gripped by hysteria and gone collectively insane, which is a pretty unlikely scenario.

During Obama’s dark, mysterious years at Columbia, he was involved in domestic terrorist bombings

Although some mainstream media sources have alluded to Obama’s mysterious years at Columbia, only one intrepid reporter, Tom Maguire of Just One Minute has made the cognitive leap required to connect all of the dots. Noting that Obama admitted in his book Dreams of My Father that he was “interested in South Africa divestment,” Maguire does some digging and discovers that some protests against the 1981 tour by the South African Springboks rugby team resulted in violence and even some bombings. Guess who “was involved in some fashion” in these bombings? The Weather Underground! “These are just dots and it may be impossible to connect them,” says Maguire, modestly, “but we have Barack Obama at Columbia working on South African divestment (as were many peaceful protestors) while other radical elements with a Weather Underground flavor are setting bombs, killing cops, and working on South African divestment. As a bonus, Bill Ayers is studying at Bank Street College a quarter mile from Columbia.” Wow! How can the mainstream media possibly ignore the fact that Obama must have been “involved in some fashion” in domestic terrorism because he was “interested in South African divestment.” “Tom Maguire steps pretty far out on a limb with this bit of speculation,” says CPAC Blogger of the Year Ace of Spades, who links to the story. “But it would explain why Barack Obama's ‘lost years’ at Columbia have remained so very very secret.” It makes me wonder how my friend Tom Watson, who was at Columbia at the same time as Obama and was also “interested in South African divestment,” was connected to the Weather Underground, not to mention hundreds of other former Columbia students who today freely walk the streets despite their terrorist connections. I wonder if Tom has mentioned his radical connections in his upcoming book CauseWired: Plugging In, Getting Involved, Changing the World, or if like Obama, he mysteriously left it out.

Obama didn’t actually write Dreams of My Father. In fact, it was ghost-written by none other than Bill Ayers!

Jack Cashill at the aptly named American Thinker found it difficult to believe that Barack Obama, who is not one of the most articulate politicians around, could possibly have written a whole book all by himself. He must have had help. Probably from someone evil. So on a hunch Cashill decided to compare Obama’s book with a book written by Bill Ayers and lo and behold, he discovered some shocking similarities, including the use of nautical imagery and the fact that a very scientific test to determine the grade level of the prose was a match. This wasn’t the first story Cashill broke. Cashill also proved that Arab terrorists and not Eric Rudolph were responsible for the 1996 Olympics bombing in Atlanta and that the Clintons covered up the real cause of the death of Ron Brown and the downing of TWA Flight 800. Unfortunately, Cashill’s overwhelming evidence wasn’t enough to convince the mainstream media to report on his theories, but Ann Althouse, who is a tenured professor at the 36th most prestigious law school in the country according to U.S. News & World Report, took them very seriously. “Mere confirmation bias? Or is Cashill onto something?” wrote the respected professor ominously after presenting her exhaustive analysis. Former U.S. prosecutor Andrew C. McCarthy, who now writes for the National Review’s The Corner, wrote that while he didn’t “want to feed into what sounds, at first blush, like Vince Fosteresque paranoia,” after reading Cashill’s analysis he found it “thorough, thoughtful, and alarming.” Scott Johnson at Powerline called Cashill's work "interesting" and said that while "Cashill could also make the case that John Hinderaker and I qualify for recognition as Obama's secret collaborator" they didn't live in Obama's neighborhood, as Ayers did, which is in itself pretty damning. “Nautical metaphors may sink Obama,” Ace of Spades wrote hopefully. Flopping Aces saw Ayers’ ghost-writing of Obama’s book as just one part of a vast conspiracy to get a socialist elected President. “Eventually, if successful, their dreams of a Communist nation can be realized,” wrote Flopping Aces. “Sounds crazy….I know.” By the way, before Cashill hit on his theory, I noted some eerie similarities between Dreams of My Father and the Horatio Hornblower novels of C.S. Forester, which also contain nautical references and are written on a high school level, but I gave up my investigation when I realized that Forester died in 1966 and probably could not have written Obama’s book. Why didn't I think of comparing Obama’s book to Ayers’ book instead? I guess that's why I'm not one of the A-list bloggers.

Michelle Obama attacks “American white racists” in an interview with obscure online news site

I bet you probably didn’t know that Michelle Obama gave an exclusive interview to the obscure online journalism site African Press International in which she said that “American white racists” are trying to derail her husband's candidacy by claiming that Obama was adopted by his Indonesian stepfather, which would make him ineligible to be President under one of the secret, little-known provisions of the U.S. Constitution. Mrs. Obama was apparently so disturbed by these charges that she decided to call this press agency, which most people have never heard of, and vent Martha Mitchell-like, even though her words might scuttle her husband’s chances of becoming President. Although the mainstream media hasn’t yet picked up the story, and the Obama campaign denies the interview took place, Gateway Pundit, Protein Wisdom, Right Pundits, Stop the ACLU, Maggies Notebook, Death by 1000 Paperecuts, Strata-Sphere, Gina Cobb, Macsmind, News Busters, World Net Daily, Jim Treacher, Townhall and a number of other conservative blogs and news sites ran with it. Although some cynical bloggers were skeptical of the story for some reason and demanded more proof, API assured them that it had tapes of the conversations and was just waiting for the right moment to release them. Although API still hasn’t managed to work out the logistics yet, and several deadlines have already come and gone, conservative bloggers are very patient and understanding and just hope that API can work everything out before the election. “We will know soon enough,” writes Gateway Pundit. “It is amazing how the media will believe a hoax that some Republican yelled ‘kill him’ at a Palin rally with no evidence but will disregard a harsh story on Michelle Obama from the start. It's interesting how that works.” It is funny how that works, Gateway Pundit.

Obama had a girlfriend that his wife found out about and forced her to move to the Caribbean.

What would an election be without a sex scandal? If you only read the American mainstream media, you might not know that the U.K.’s Daily Mail reported that Obama was “the target of a shadowy smear campaign designed to derail his bid for the US Presidency by falsely claiming he had a close friendship with an attractive African-American female employee…. The woman, now 33, vigorously denies the vicious and unsubstantiated gossip.” Unfortunately, the American mainstream media apparently has some kind of silly rules about publishing stories about unsubstantiated rumors as a way of writing about those rumors, but conservative bloggers have been all over the story like white bloggers on rice. Once again the conservative blogosphere’s most respected blogger Ace of Spades led the way. “Having now spoken to someone tracking the story, I can say: 1) It's not just a silly little rumor. 2) It will break in some form shortly,” he wrote. Ace even noticed that Obama had vacationed in the Caribbean, noting his source “hadn't even made that connection.” That’s just how Ace’s mind works, making connections that don’t even occur to peddlers of sleazy gossip.

Unfortunately, the story hasn’t broken yet in some form, except on a number of prominent conservative blogs. Jammie Wearing Fool presented a very credible case for why the story might be true, writing, “If you're Obama and you're married to the modern-day incarnation of Aunt Esther, you've got to figure the temptation to get your thang on must be pretty strong.” Say Anything advised Obama to “disclose this woman’s pay records, her travel records and her job history as it relates to working for his Senate staff and/or campaign.” Stop the ACLU cautioned, “Just remember…this is only a rumor until the media get off their behinds and actually investigate this,” but that didn’t stop Right Voices, Protein Wisdom, Hill Buzz, Confederate Yankee, Jammie Wearing Fool, Silent Running or Black Five from discussing it. Unfortunately, these bloggers have been unable to offer any evidence that the story is true, but just because there is no evidence that something is true, that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

There is a tape of Michelle Obama with Louis Farrakhan talking about “whitey”

Larry Johnson of No Quarter used to be a liberal until the Democrats decided to nominate an unqualified African-American for President. In a last-ditch attempt to get Democrats to come to their senses, he revealed the existence of a secret videotape featuring Michelle Obama speaking to a group that included the wife of Louis Farrakhan and maybe even Farrakhan himself in which she confirms the most feverish nightmares of some white Americans by ranting about “whitey.” Johnson claimed that Republicans had a copy of this tape, which they were holding onto until October, when it would do the most damage. Although he didn’t actually see the tape himself, he had many friends and friends of friends who did see it. Stop the ACLU wrote, "This is all a rumor, but if you read Michelle’s college thesis on race you will find it is most likely true." Macranger reported, "Too many insiders are talking about it to outright dismiss it." Jim Geraghty of National Review's The Corner initially believed the tape existed but later grew skeptical, writing, "I note that despite my readers' hopes, this fits the pattern for rumors like this — they're always simultaneously vague but hyped to be huge, and they're always coming just around the corner." Killjoy. If Johnson is right, and there is no reason to doubt him, we should be seeing that tape any day now. But you might want to send him a note and remind him that there are only two more weeks left in October so they better release that tape quick.

Obama was not born in the United States and his birth certificate has been forged.

What would happen if we elected a President who was not born in this country and is not eligible to be President? Some of the best minds in the conservative blogosphere are doing everything they can to stop this horrifying scenario from happening before it is too late. “This is serious: Barack Obama's campaign has endorsed the accuracy of what is almost certainly a forged birth certificate for Obama,” writes Right Wing News. According to Pamela Geller of Atlas Shrugs, Doug Ross of Director Blue and Israel Insider, the birth certificate the Obama campaign released is without a doubt a forgery, which they have proven using all kinds of scientific analysis that involves anti-aliasing and kerning, which makes my head spin but looks really convincing. Tiger Hawk was really concerned about this: “I do not think that it would be good for anybody, including Republicans, if it turned out that Barack Obama was not 'natural born' under the law. What a mess that would be for the whole country.” And Andrew McCarthy of the National Review’s The Corner also wanted answers, adding, in case anyone had any doubt, “I am not a conspiracy theorist.” (Update: What is the real reason for Obama's trip to Hawaii?)

So if Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii, where was he born? Prestigious conservative news organization World Net Daily reports, “Pennsylvania Democrat Philip J. Berg, who filed a lawsuit demanding Sen. Barack Obama present proof of his American citizenship, now says that by failing to respond Obama has legally ‘admitted’ to the lawsuit's accusations, including the charge that the Democratic candidate was born in Mombosa [sic], Kenya.” Berg claims he spoke to Obama’s grandmother and she said she was in the delivery room when he was born in a hospital in Mombassa. Although Philip Berg once filed a RICO lawsuit against Bush and others blaming them for the events of 9/11, that doesn’t mean he’s wrong now. (Update: Pamela Geller of Atlas Shrugs has determined that not only was Obama not born in Hawaii, his father is actually Malcolm X!)

As if being Kenyan weren’t bad enough, John Ray at Stop the ACLU reports that Obama is also Indonesian according to another birth certificate and that he traveled to Pakistan in 1981 on an Indonesian passport where he no doubt met with members of Al Qaeda. “I suspect that Obama may have dumped his Indonesian citizenship at some point along the way, to advance his political career,” writes Ray of the wily, ambitious politician. “But I would not be shocked if he still holds it. This question, however, should not overshadow the serious problem of hiding his Indonesian identity from the electorate….. What else is he hiding?” Despite so much evidence that Obama is not a natural-born U.S. citizen, some conservative bloggers have been as dismissive of this story as the mainstream media. “Let’s stop chasing absurd conspiracy theories that make it more difficult to win the real arguments in this election,” Ed Morrissey of Hot Air wrote, Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs, who is the Father of Konservative Kerning Analysis has banned mention of the birth certificate story on his site and AJ Strata of Strata-Sphere did his own scientific analysis to disprove it. Who got to them, I wonder?

Barack Obama had an underage, gay “affair” with a pedophile.

When the National Enquirer reported that one of Obama’s childhood mentors wrote a semi-autobiographical book that includes passages about sex with an underage girl, the conservative blogosphere collectively made the next logical leap that even the Enquirer was too skittish to make: Obama must have had sex with this man when he was nine years old. “The National Enquirer now suggests Barack Obama had an underage, gay affair with a pedophile,” wrote Erick Erickson of Red State. “Yup. That Frank Marshall Davis guy Barry says was his good friend? Turns out he was a perv of the first order and liked young boys." In case anyone should make unfair accusations against him, Erickson added, "This post is not intended to spread that rumor.” Indeed, that post was only intended as a public service to pass on information that was right there between the lines of the Enquirer story for all to see. “That may be worse than his having been counseled by Jeremiah Wright,” wrote Dan Riehl. “No wonder he says "Pakit-stan" in that funny way of his! heh!” Confederate Yankee wondered why this very important story was being buried by the mainstream media, explaining, “Barack Obama's list of known mentors now includes child rapists ('Uncle Frank' Marshall), racists (Rev. Jeremiah Wright) and terrorists (Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dorn). When is someone going to question how these associations must have warped Obama's views and render him unstable, and unsuitable for the Presidency?” Jules Crittenden, who called the story an “October Surprise,” dismissed Obama’s being “mentored by a suspected commie pervert in underage late-night drinking/dirty limerick slams” as a “youthful indiscretion,” but added, “with the subsequent adult pattern … 20 years in the pews of a frothing America-bashing bigot and the professional palling around with an unrepentant ex-terrorist … you begin to see what they mean when with that ‘doesn’t look like us’ line. Turns out it’s not a racial cue at all.” Dan Collins of Protein Wisdom also reported on the story, but as usual, I have no idea what he was trying to say. “No doubt Obama will claim this as a desperate smear by the forces of evil who are afraid of change,” said Jammie Wearing Fool, with that delightful sarcasm he uses when not smearing people.

You might think that the fact that Obama was palling around with pedophiles when he was nine years old, which is the exact same time that William Ayers was blowing up the Pentagon, would be an important story, but once again the mainstream media ignored it. Conservative blogger Don Surber also demurred, writing, “Some bloggers are calling this an October surprise. I call it stupidity” and predictably liberal bloggers proceeded to shoot the messengers. “When people discuss (possible) sexual contact between ten-year-old boys who are not their political enemies and grown men, they usually refer to the 'underage gay affairs' as sexual abuse,” wrote Jim Henley of Unqualified Offerings. “They also recognize that adults who have been abused may or may not wish to tell the whole world the details, and they respect it. Admittedly, most people are not members of the NAMBLA wing of the Republican Party, or, failing that, curdled into pure meanness. Maybe Erickson just holds with the more sweeping theories about the cultural construction of the age of consent. Whatever the reason, he’s sure that that little vixen, ten-year-old Barry Obama, was asking for it man.”

Obama had cocaine-fueled gay sex in the back of a limousine with a not-very-attractive disabled man with a criminal background

While the mainstream media requires their sources practically to be saints before they will even think of publishing sensational allegations, the prestigious World Net Daily is under no such constraints. It reported on Larry Sinclair’s allegations that he did cocaine and had sex with Barack Obama in the back of a limousine without making him jump through all the hoops a mainstream media organization or even the National Enquirer would have required. Although some people didn't find Larry Sinclair's story credible considering his criminal record and the fact that he failed a lie detector test, WND decided to publish the allegations and let the people decide. Although many in the conservative blogoshpere also doubted Sinclair’s veracity, some, like Rusty Shackleford at Jawa Report, decided the gloves were off after the National Enquirer ran a salacious report on Sarah Palin, and reluctantly decided to link to the story anyway, because, as he explains, “this kind of slime is now in play.” Mick Stockinger at Uncorrelated agreed that “it’s only fair” to bring it up and Rude News called it “tit for tat.” That oughta teach the National Enquirer.

Obama was getting answers in the first debate through a clear plastic hearing aid in his ear

Ann Althouse has a unique ability to see things that no one else sees, not unlike my Aunt Agatha, until she was sent away to a rest home and forced to take medication that took away her abilities. During the primaries, Althouse discovered that a Hillary Clinton ad included the subliminal message “Nig” written on a child's pajamas. Then during the debates, Althouse noticed on her high definition television that Obama was wearing a clear plastic hearing aid in his ear and noted that he spoke haltingly as if someone was giving him the answers in the debate. “It's clearly there, a crescent of clear plastic,” she said in response to some skeptical comments (note her use of the word "crescent," a clever reference to Obama's secret Muslim heritage). Although Althouse later backed away from the story, which Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit linked to, she didn’t repudiate it entirely, concluding in the comments, "You know, just because the thing I saw wasn't there doesn't mean there wasn't something there that I didn't see." I don’t know if this is an acceptable standard of evidence in courts of law since I am not a law professor like Ms. Althouse, but it has come to be the standard of evidence in the conservative blogosphere, and I don’t see why the fuddy-duddy mainstream media can’t adopt this way of thinking, too.

Ace of Spades’ Super-Secret Unified Field Story That Connects All the Dots

For weeks Ace of Spades has been working on a super-secret story about Obama, which "called Obama a straight-up liar on his supposed 'flimsy' relationship with The Terrorist William Ayers" and finally connected all the dots, linking Obama and Bill Ayers, Acorn, Tony Reszko, Charles Manson, the Chicago mob, the Illuminati, Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, Jewish bankers, Nazis living in South America, Fidel Castro, the KGB, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Bigfoot, Area 51, the Harlem Globetrotters, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, the Bermuda Triangle, Mrs. Calabash and Mr. Gorsky. Apparently, Ben Smith at Politico, had the story, too, according to Ace and Hill Buzz, and he was just sitting on it (though Smith denied it). Then just as Ace was on the verge of breaking the story, he made this heart-breaking announcement: “The source was considering dropping his demand for anonymity. Thus likely moving the story forward. (He wasn't considering going forward with the Politico, by the way: but with the other, more important organization.) And now, today? After witnessing Politico, among others, savage Joe Wurtzelbacher? Cold feet.” Curse you, mainstream media and your accursed fact-checking! Will your cover-up of the truth about Barack Obama never end!

Update: Ms. Althouse is not happy about New Yorker writer George Packer's post about this modest post and calls me terrible names in her comments. See more about her disappointing reaction here.

Update 2: Ms. Althouse now cites her hearing aid exclusive as her worst post of 2008.

Carnivals: Bobo Carnival of Politics, Carnival of the Insanities, Fuelmyblog Carnival, Carnival of Aloha, Carnival of Conservatism, Scribes Carnival

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220 comments:

Chuck Butcher said...

Gee I get to be first? Only because Balloon Juice noted this. Otherwise I'd probably have missed by a couple days due to the rather inconsistent publishing here.

Good fun Jon

Brian H. said...

Very good post. I'm curious to know how the right wing will come to grips with an Obama presidency (I know, it's not over-yet).

Based on the evidence collected here, it's going to be cuckooland for a while.

Anonymous said...

great laugh. thank you.

oyster said...

Swift, you've compiled a veritable treasure trove of important information, explained in a down-to-earth way that even the stupidest media cretin could easily understand.

Keep fighting the good fight. History will view you favorably.

Fwiw, you're an "A-lister" in my book.

Anonymous said...

To be fair, AJ Strata didn't believe the birth certificate forgery nonsense. He is nuts in other ways, but can't fault him fore this one.

Anonymous said...

That was hilarious. Thank you so much for posting all those insane stories. Haven't laughed like that in a while.

LonewackoDotCom said...

What posts like this intentionally attempt to obscure is that there are plenty of things we don't know about BHO. Even the NYT had an article pointing out that BHO's Columbia years are shrouded in mystery. And, the requests Berg makes of BHO are things that any other presidential candidate wouldn't use legalistic means to keep us from knowing. Why exactly doesn't BHO want to release his college applications?

BHO wants to be president of the U.S., but he won't even release something as simple as his college applications?

Anonymous said...

When dems lose an election they get depressed and move to canada. When repubs are losing an election they actually go insane?

Sounds like it to me.

Great writeup!

Jon Swift said...

Thank you, Thers. I edited the story to correct the error.

Brian H. said...

@lonewackodotcom:

Ok, I'll bite. Since when are a presidential candidates college applications considered worthy of inspection? Do we need to see all 5 of Palin's applications? Are all candidates subjected to the same standard? Judging by the McCain campaigns' handling of both his and Palin's medical records, I suspect not.

What your post fails to acknowledge is that the right has descended fully into Hofstadter's "paranoid style" of political analysis, and therefore many of the things "we don't know" about Obama are irrelevant because there is nothing there to know.

Anonymous said...

Bravo!

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin wants to be vice president of the U.S., but she won't even release something as simple as her medical records?

Brian H. said...


Oh, and a linky
for those who are interested.

Anonymous said...

lonewhackodotcom - Sarah Palin and Cindy McCain haven't even released their tax returns, and you're complaining because Obama hasn't released his COLLEGE APPLICATIONS?!?! You have GOT to be kidding.

Joel said...

If the Republicans had just listened to your modest proposal that we eat the Democrats back in 2003, none of this would have happened.

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin and Cindy McCain haven't even released their tax returns

Yes they have.

Anonymous said...

intentionally attempt to obscure

There's intentional obscuring going on? Say it ain't so, lonewackodotcom!

Anonymous said...

If by "ran with it" you mean "put up one post about it, added a correction when it looked like it was bogus, and didn't take down the post even though it was embarrassing, as seems to be the norm among lefty blogs," then yeah. I "ran with it."

Thanks for reading!

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin and Cindy McCain haven't even released their tax returns

Yes they have.


Cindy - not entirely. Partial returns for 2006 and 2007 were released on Oct. 17th:

http://deepbackground.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/10/17/1562754.aspx

Palin released her tax records on Oct. 6th:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/03/palin-tax-records-read-fu_n_131749.html

Batocchio said...

Fine, fine work. I'll need more time to go through every link. But bravo!

Anonymous said...

Indeed, has anyone been elected president with so little scrutiny of his college applications? There is important information that we can only get from those documents. Did he use his drug dealer for a personal reference? Did he list a madrassa as his secondary school? Did he write an essay about about his plans to turn America into a socialist country by stealing the 2008 presidential election by having his community organizer allies submit voter registrations with obviously fake names? He must be hiding something... how else can you explain him not responding to the undeniably legitmate and not at all conspiracy theory driven demands of a blogger who calls himself "lonewacko"?

Anonymous said...

I think this is meant to be a joke. I hope this is meant to be a joke. If not....you are a freaking insane lunatic.

JammieWearingFool said...

This is clever stuff. Let's see, how can I drum up links for my obscure blog, Swift asks. Oh yes, I'll link to blogs that have actual readership. Thanks for driving those three hits my way.

Anonymous said...

Man, I don't know what is in your Kool-Aid, but it must be good.

And you forgot the story about Obama having an abortion party for the youth group from church at his communist compound while burning the American Flag and marrying homosexuals.

Anonymous said...

You are totally whacky. But, I do love to check in on the crazy stories. I admit it. Because there are so many who truly believe them. So... I like to see what the new scandal is supposed to be. At least some folks got new readers to their blogs. :)

KingMob said...

My favorite one is the "Ayers Wrote Obama's Book" one. The American Thinker: A truly first-rate semiotician and philologist. I forget where I read this, but the first mockery of that story that I saw described it as "based on the false premise that Ayers' book was well-written."

Hah!

If you liked "The Clinton Chronicles," it sounds like "The Obama Chronicles" are gonna be AWESOME.

Have a nice 8 years, wingnuts!

Anonymous said...

Great screen grab from "Don't Look Now." Nice touch...

I don't know where in the ether you come up with (and then execute) these perfect visuals for all your posts, but they're always near brilliant!

You have a perfectly demented sensibility.

ChenZhen said...

Man, I thought I paid attention to the ridiculousness of the rightosphere, but I've been humbled.

{{{stands and applauds}}}

That said..

I say kudos to Jim Treacher for being respectful when coming here and giving his side.

As for the censoring wussbag JammieWearingFool, however, I can't help but laugh at his criticism, given the fact that the 20+ comments in this thread alone has eclipsed what his click-n-go blog has amassed in the last month. But, ya know, I'm sure he enjoys his freedom to express his views over here without worry of suppression.

Pupienus Maximus said...

Part of Jon Swift’s greatness lies in his clever wordplay. To wit, notice the following orthographic apposition he uses when discussing Ms. Ann Outhouse: “exhaustive analySis.

Pynchonesque, if not downright Joycian. Bravo, good sir. Bravo.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this important work. How many IQ points did you lose doing this research?

I've followed these fantasy tales from afar and on an isolated basis. When you put them all together in one thread, I think you may have created a Critical Mass of Stupid that could precipitate a Black Hole of Conservative Thought. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...

Anonymous said...

And to think, some people believe far right and left wack-jobs have hi-jacked the message of their respective bases.

After the first few posts I did catch on though. This is an elaborate joke, right? I mean a group of people this large can't actually be this paranoid and/or moronic. Can they?

Hmm well they did re-elect George Bush so I guess its a rhetorical question.

yellojkt said...

Despite your careful research, you have still missed part of the story. Barack's birth certificate had to be forged to eliminate 'Mohammad' from his full name. His full birthname was Barack Hussein Mohammad Satan Lenin Obama.

Anonymous said...

Looks like the Republicans can't even make a simple $150,000 clothing purchase without stealing- from each other!

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/104410/an_unexpected_twist%3A_palin%27s_%24150%2C000_wardrobe_doesn%27t_add_up

Anonymous said...

So, I'm guessing that you must inject your keyboard with botox in order to keep a "straight face" while writing this kind of thing.

Anonymous said...

JammieWearingFool said...

This is clever stuff. Let's see, how can I drum up links for my obscure blog, Swift asks. Oh yes, I'll link to blogs that have actual readership. Thanks for driving those three hits my way.
10/23/2008 6:03 PM


Wahh Wahhh.
~

Anonymous said...

Konservative Kerning Analysis

I believe they're considering changing it to Konservative Kerning inKorporated.

Anonymous said...

WOW! If he's this bad now, can you imagine how bad it will be if Obama really does win? It seems he can get away with anything. Thanks Jon, for this info.

BTW, did you know there's a famous writer with the same name as you?

Anonymous said...

P.S.

"Anonymous said...
Great screen grab from "Don't Look Now." Nice touch..."

Isn't that the one where he has sex with plants? Great movie. Very ahead of its time.

roy edroso said...

In the words of Lefty Ruggiero in Donnie Brasco, I'm glad it was you.

Brian H. said...

close. the pic is from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". Not to be a smarty pants.

Anonymous said...

It sounds so twisted it has to be true. I gotta go with Ann Althouse on this. Evidence my ass.

Live free or die!!!!

Arturo Ui said...

that was fucking brilliant. i don't remember the last time i laughed so hard reading anything on the internet. this piece managed to be both extremely funny, and a public service. thank you.

Anonymous said...

Jon, you missed one of the most important stories of all: Obama's family of witches in Kenya are casting curses on McCain and Palin, designed to make them look foolish. And the evidence is clear that those curses must be having an effect.

http://joemax93.blogspot.com/2008/10/witches.html

You can't ignore the right-wing Christianist websites, who have the same level of journalistic standards in their reporting on Mr. Obama as their counterparts in the talk-radio wing of the GOP.

crafty b said...

"Obama had cocaine-fueled gay sex in the back of a limousine with a not-very-attractive disabled man with a criminal background"

HILARIOUS!!!

I have a sister in law who's always sending me all these ridiculous scurrilous reasons why Barack Obama is the next Antichrist (sadly, she's serious). I'm gonna save her some time and forward this article.

Anonymous said...

"Jim C said...
Isn't that the one where he has sex with plants?"

If by "plants" you mean "Julie Christie," then "yes."



"Brian H. said...
close. the pic is from 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'. Not to be a smarty pants."

RATS!!! You are probably correct, durn it! Even better, though; doncha think?

Brian H. said...

Actually, I love both of those movies, hard to pick a favorite.

JenJen said...

What the dickheads over at Sadly, No! said... Best Election Piece of the Year. :-)

Anonymous said...

"Great screen grab from "Don't Look Now." Nice touch..."

Oh, Anonymous, you poor misguided fool - once again I find you leaving behind your little anonymous mistakes. The image is clearly from the '70s remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (yes, yes, Mr. Sutherland apparently thought

I shall of course not disclose my identity to save you further embarassment. I will also leave a link to Radiohead's Bodysnatchers to which someone has appended a most excellent video which provides a companion piece to Mr. Swift's most excellent post.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOpMsW9jsog

Anonymous said...

I was watching Fox News tonight and noticed they were running a clip from a New York Times blog that indicated a woman was able to make a bogus contribution to the Obama campaign. I just tried the same thing with the McCain campaign sight and in less than 30 seconds was able to contribute $25 to McCain under the name of William Ayers. It seems the Republicans aren't any better at checking where their money comes from. But I bet Fox News won't publicize that fact. Ron the Teacher

Anonymous said...

Lots of craziness to be sure, but just a small caveat:

everything sounds outlandish....until its proven true. Like Edwards having an affair while his wife is dying of cancer and she's being paid off.... WTF! That's crazy! Whooops, its true.

I think its the nature of the blogosphere to try to break the rumors into MSM stories (like how Foley got caught) so expect more of this in the future. (We already saw a lot of this on the other side when Bush was president.)

Anonymous said...

maybe i'm missing the point to the last anonymous comment...but, i think there's an enormous difference between:

a man in a powerful position cheats on his wife who happens to have terminal cancer...

and...

a man in a powerful position had cocain fueled gay sex with unattractive disabled man, had gay sex affair AT THE AGE OF 9 with a pedophile, his wife ranted to some unknown african media source (wordpress blog, right?), must have had something to do with bombings in the early 80's because of...my god, i can't even continue with this list.

there is just zero comparison between all the ludicrous crap flung about by the wingnuts, and john edwards cheating on his wife. i'm really hoping i just misunderstood what you were trying to say by comparing the two situations.

not anonymous...i'm betty brown.

Anonymous said...

"Ann Althouse has a unique ability to see things that no one else sees, not unlike my Aunt Agatha, until she was sent away to a rest home and forced to take medication that took away her abilities."

Brilliant. I am breathless from laughing too hard. Stop it. Just stop it.

Fran said...

This is brilliant. In a moment of paranoia, I was taken in by the affair story.

Not that it happened- who gives a crap? Just that it would get a lot of play.

Of course, then I realized there are more important things to worry about. Like the ghost writer aspect of Bill Ayer's life.

Plus, doesn't Michelle have something going on with Ayers on the side?

Distributorcap said...

i love the smell of truth in the morning

Anonymous said...

You forgot the one about Obama being the Antichrist....Oh, wait... That one's true...

dawneo said...

I stumbled on your blog this morning through real clear politics.

It would have been nice to find a conservative blog that I could read in order to get a balanced perspective on the news.

Unfortunately, your blog is just a collection of unsubstantiated rumors.

There are moments when your writing is fair; these moments are when your writing is most enjoyable to read. But your bias comes out with statements such as (paraphrased) "supported the democrats until they nominated an unqualified African-American candidate." Why not just say they nominated an "unqualified candidate"? Is there something particularly juicy to the placement of unqualified and African-American next to each other?

If you want to accuse the media of bias, I am willing to listen to you. I am no naive kool-aid drinker. But you must follow up that statement with another kind of commentary.

I appreciate the fact that you are trying; I hope that you will endeavor to be more fair in your writing. We need fair and balanced sources of news. But your blog, like FoxNews, is just the other side of the coin, competing for attention.

(Unrelated News Rant)
News is not as simple as presenting each side of an issue for the same amount of time. News is digging deep to find the FACTS (not unsubstantiated rumors that the main stream media is endeavoring to withhold; facts can always be found if you are a real news source).

I think what you are trying to do is important. But you must elevate the facts and suppress your bias if you want to keep discerning readers reading. I, for one, won't be reading this blog again.

Best,

Anonymous said...

Thank you for a wonderful summary of all the frantic conservative rumors out there. It too bad some of commenters, did not fully read your post to see that you are not agreeing with the rumors.
It was a fun read.

JammieWearingFool said...

I see the pathetic blogstalker chenzhen has surfaced here. That boy is seriously deranged. He apparently is unable to digest Sitemeter numbers. Considering his pitiful blog has even fewer readers than Swift, I can understand him being jealous of those of us with actual readers.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like some readers need to have their snark detectors adjusted.

Gorgeous post. I am going to send this to all my conservative friends.

Mac G said...

Simply Awesome. Thanks for trolling through the nut job posts in order to come up with that wing nut smack down compilation. Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

My college years are "shrouded in mystery" too. Somehow all of the amazing, glowing, but strangely incriminating and damning press stories written about me during that time have been "mysteriously" removed, and no one remembers writing any. Nothing survives but my transcripts and my degree.

Mysterious. Didn't they know I'm going to run for president in 2016?

Carl said...

Mr Swift, sir!

You missed the biggest bombshell of the week!

Comrade Obama is headed to Hawaii to kill his grandmother, who has the goods on his so-called "certificate of birth," which was actually filed in a bunker in Afghanistan 48 years ago by a youthful Osama bin Laden (in case you were wondering how Barack got his last name)!

I swear, sir! This is true! We are about to select a socialist Islamofascist!

Anonymous said...

Yes, all of you, laugh! Go ahead and laugh!

But when "President" Obama requires that all blogs be written in Indonesian, then we'll see who's laughing.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you mean there really is a blogger called "Jammiewearingfool?" When I read the name in this piece I was convinced that you were just making it up for effect.

That's pretty funny in itself.

Thanks for the good chuckles.

Neddie said...

Dawn Marie: How dare you come into this good conservative blog and imply that it's "unbalanced"? Mr. Swift is and always has been a deep conservative thinker of the first water. I get all my news from him, just as he gets his from Fox News and Jay Leno monologues. That way, it's extra-filtered and pure, pure, pure. If Swift says it, I believe it -- it's as simple as that.

I suspect you are actually a LIEberal flying under false colors, trying to make us think you are a conservative in order to make our brains explode from the sheer contradiction. That is what I believe, and what it is, too.

(Swear to FSM, my verification word is "haterse.")

Fran / Blue Gal said...

"just because there is no evidence that something is true, that doesn’t mean it isn’t true."

That's the whole conservative mindset in one sentence right there.

jasperjava said...

Note to JWF: half of the hits you get are from liberals who want a good laugh at you and the Neanderthal knuckle-draggers to whom you allow to post comments.

jasperjava said...

Comrade Obama is headed to Hawaii to kill his grandmother

I thought he already did that in March, when he threw her under a bus. Miraculously, she seems to have survived. Now he's ready to finish the job. This is only a foretaste to what will happen to Typical White Persons over the next four years.

LittlePig said...

Mr. Gorsky too?! Say it ain' so! *sob*

Unknown said...

Wow! You really seem to lay many of your conclusions on assumptions that are so far fetched to seem unplausible. I guess this goes with all of those that think Obama is not an American citizen.
Good luck drinking the Kool-Aid from Limbaugh and the Faux friends.

Obama / Biden 2008

Anonymous said...

idiot

Evil@Work said...

This is why the GOP is so fucked right now. There's a Spurs forum where on a post about the election some chick said she's going to watch Obama carefully cause he might be the Antichrist. When you got nuts like this voting, you get nuts like Palin elected.

Greg Mills said...

If any of what has been said about Obama, Homeland Security, the NSA, FISA, David Addington, are all far, far adrift from the shores of Competence.

Anonymous said...

First-time reader, that was an awesome post, almost as good a read as the laundry list of all the crazy things the Right made up to smear Clinton. These elections are draining and political satire is pretty crap these days, you're doing a great job, though. Keep up the good work, I'll definitely be reading more.

Anonymous said...

This is nothing short of a brilliant blogpost, and really ought make it into a history of this campaign. Congratulations and many thanks for putting all this together.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Jon. This post is a real public service.

It is important to shed daylight on all these stories, as well as on the right wing bloggers who are pushing them. It's for the best that they get out of the basement and into the sunlight every once in a while. Eventually, they will be justly rewarded for their efforts.

Anonymous said...

WOW.

ChenZhen said...

Oh Jammie, you don't get me at all.

I'm really not that preoccupied with blog hits, as you apparently are. In fact, I spend most of my time on other blogs (which is why you called me a "blogstalker", I assume), and I don't have anything tangible to gain from more hits in the Chamber anyway (I have no ads). My blog is just there as a platform for me to tell the tales of what I find on the net and elsewhere, and occasionally that includes calling out censoring wussbags like yourself.

You see, on my site, people don't get deleted and banned when they burn me. I welcome the challenge, actually. I've set up an entire network of bloggers to facilitate discussion between netizens across the political spectrum. You think I'm jealous of your hits or your tumbleweed-filled comments section? Gimme a break.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the top five posts of the election season. Well done.

Anonymous said...

All of these crackpot stories remind me of the various 9/11 conspiracy theories saying that Dubya planned the attack so he would have a reason to go to war with Iraq. Big difference is that these Obama stories are only believed by an odd fringe of the right wing. The bizarre 9/11 theories are practically a part of the mainstream DNC platform.

Anonymous said...

Further proof of the "proud to be dumb" mentality in the US. I'm surprised anybody who believes this shit is even smart enough to read it...anyway, good one, best laugh I've had in weeks.

Arne Langsetmo said...

Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs, who is the Father of Konservative Kerning Analysis...

Isn't that "Konservative Kerning Knowhow"? ;-)

Cheers,

Spacebar Supersleuth said...

This is possibly the dumbest thing I've read all year.

Congrats, you're a douchebag!!

mistah charley, ph.d. said...

...impressive...
...thorough...
...remarkable...
...grammatically correct...
...thoughtful...
...thought-provoking...
...a contribution to the literature...
...in the tradition of Richard Hofstadter...

"I'm mistah charley, ph.d. and I approve this message. Some restrictions may apply."

Anonymous said...

Nobody reads Jon Swift anymore. It's too crowded.

Anonymous said...

GREAT NEWS! There's a new drug on the market called "Abilify". It treats Paranoid Schizophrenia. You might want to check it out!

Anonymous said...

This blog posting is the most GLORIOUS thing I have ever read. Seriously.

It's like the movie Old School in blog form. I know, I know, the post might not have anything in common specifically with the movie Old School but it's just as awesome as the movie Old School.

The feeling of euphoria I got from reading this posting was just as powerful, if not more powerful, than that time I decided to mix Hormel Chili and Mac & Cheese together in one delicious orgy of deliciousness during a temporary bachelor week when the wife and kid were out of town.

The obvious difference being that reading this posting will not destroy my colon.

BRAVO SIR. BRAVO. I salute you. :)

Anonymous said...

don't forget this brutal expose that giblets unleashed on the secretive ways of "that one."
http://fafblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/barack-obama-black.html

It shocked me to my very core...

Anonymous said...

The 'lost years' at Colombia?

Is the idea he was studying so unlikely in America?

Very interesting post, and comments. I learned something. Thanks.

Bukko Boomeranger said...

EXTRAORDINARY POST! Extraordinarily long, that is. I shall have to get a computer installed in the bathroom so I can digest it while I, ahem, undigest.

As usual, I skipped most of the post and went straight to the comments. They are like dessert after a modest proposal dinner.

I am disappointed that you do not get as many outraged liberals these days as you used to. Perhaps they have given up, or gained a sense of humour.

But for one at the forefront of conservative thinking such as you, Rev. Dr. Swift, I am surprised that you have not advanced your own theories about the Evil that is Obama. Although you have done your readership a service by researching and distilling the cutting edge of conservative investigative prowess, why not push the envelope further? Give us YOUR OWN theories!

Surely Hoosama was involved with Jamal Hussein of faked Iraq photo fame -- they even share a name! He must have been involved in a crooked land development deal in Arkansas or something. A man of your researching skill must be able to reveal something new, by making just as much mental effort as the brightest minds of the right have. Let's have it!

repsac3 said...

Before I even had a chance to see this piece here, I caught a link to it from a NeoCon blogger, who I'm pretty sure thinks it's all real...

Stealing my favorite comment from someone discussing the "Obama as terrorist" New Yorker cover--which was also widely celebrated in wingnut blog circles, again including the same blog that linked me to this piece-- "To be skewered and not even notice it takes a deft blade."

All hail Jon Swift!! While all the posts are good, you've outdone yourself with this one...

Unknown said...

brillian

Anonymous said...

The matter of Mr. HUSSEIN Obama's birth certificate is even more dread and dire than you may have previously believed. The true birth certificate is here.

Thank you for your diligence, Mr. Swift! We are all of us in your debt.

Anonymous said...

Beautifully done!

Anonymous said...

JammieWearingFool said...

... Thanks for driving those three hits my way. It nearly doubled my readership.


Fixed.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I love how you gradually ramp up the weirdness of the "scandals" from the relatively benign to ones that absolutely have to be satirical:
"Obama had cocaine-fueled gay sex in the back of a limousine with a not-very-attractive disabled man with a criminal background"
only for me to keep reading and realize that no, it is not satire, but an actual story promulgated in the blogosphere. Incredible.

Anonymous said...

Your proposals have rather gone from modest to immodest. However, your veracity is no doubt unimpeachable.

Anonymous said...

ROTFL!!! I bet ten bucks (that's as much money I can spare in this great time) that there are some nut cases out there who will actually believe this laughable jumble.

June

Anonymous said...

This is hysterical! I've heard some of these canards being laughed about here and there, but to see them all in one place had me nearly fall out of my chair laughing. I loved how you prefaced it:

"To doubt the truth of their findings, you would have to believe that an entire segment of the blogosphere has suddenly been gripped by hysteria and gone collectively insane".

Indeed!

I also got a kick out of the "not-very-attractive disabled man" line.

Thanks for putting this all together in place!

Cheers,

Luke

Anonymous said...

you want to meet some real loonies, come to Kansas City:

http://chatterboxchronicles.blogspot.com
http://rightthinkwithrivka.blogspot.com

and their crackbot buddy,

http://mikesamerica.blogspot.com

THey've bought into all of this and then some.

Anonymous said...

we heard all this stuff first from hillary supporters during the primaries

driftglass said...

The Bayeux Tapestry of wingtard takedowns.

Anonymous said...

After all your exemplary and exhaustive research, how could not mention that Osamabama is the AntiChrist!

Terrible said...

They're still letting Ms. Althouse post from the asylum?

Anonymous said...

Nice piece of satire. Had to read it twice to fully appreciate it. There are way too many nitwits out there who believe anything they read ... especially if written in that most sacred of publishing media -- the blog. It's nice to seen some self-policing going on.

Arjuna said...

I'm concerned that Obama hasn't released his Apgar scores. Could they reveal that he was actually blue at birth and not the black man he claims to be? Might they reveal that he was born in a backward country that doesn't record Apgar scores at birth?

And why no mention of his circumcision? Could it be that we are about to elect an uncut socialist? Will he want to "nationalize" our womenfolk?

You'll notice also no release of his grade school attendance records. Why would this be withheld unless Mr. Obama was a chronically tardy child. Does this mean that he'll be late for those unconditional meetings with terrorist leaders?

There is so much we don't know about this man. Wake up America!

And why am I being forced to type aconfla before I can post this message? Does it mean the con is on in Florida? Are you tricking me into giving my consent to the con in advance? Well, you've got me, damn Swift! There I typed it but when Florida goes down at least I'll have my objection typed here!

Anonymous said...

The great thing about insane people is they never give up.

Anonymous said...

We must be on the same wavelength.. I posted on something more in line with the photo that you used..
"Who is he.. really..?"
http://tpzoo.wordpress.com/2008/10/23/who-is-hereally/

Anonymous said...

Obama's debate earpiece reminds me of Bush's Mystery Bulge that Salon devoted like five articles to in 2004 (here's one). The conservative blogosphere is kind of cracking up (although I think a lot of the attacks on Obama are legitimate) but there's also a baseline of internet political craziness and baseless speculation that's always present on both sides of the aisle.

Anonymous said...

Satan has a room waiting for you Sir...My God have mercy on your soul.

Mark Prime (tpm/Confession Zero) said...

O dear Jon,
You mean to tell me that all of these legitimate news stories are merely fakes? All of them? I mean come on! That amounts to conspiracy, doesn't it? You better check your sources... I mean, you can fool some of the- some of the people all of the time- and- but you can't fool people some of the- Wait. Shit! I mean, You can fool some of the people all of the time- but you can't- you can- no you can't fool all of- Damn it! ...At this juncture, in order to save myself some time at having to surf for that particular quatable and to save me from further embarrassment, I'll simply quote on of the, if not THE greatest American president of all time- "Fool me once.... shame on....shame on you.... Fool me- ya can't get fooled again."

Carl said...

Mr Swift, sir, you may safely ignore Ms Alt-House's comments and her defenders, since she is not a conservative pundit by her own mealy mouthed liberal admission...

Bukko Boomeranger said...

Quoting Professor Outhouse:

I'm not going to write a post about you. I don't like you, and screw you. The idea that I'm doing anything to you that is comparable to what Packer and you did to me is flat-out bullshit. But you are not interested in honesty. So pimp your posts to Sullivan and Packer and get your traffic. Good for you, you little prick.

This woman is a professor of something? Does she use that language in class? Seems shocking, although I must admit that the idea of a gorgeous, foul-mouthed teacher gets me strangely excited. Especially if she carries a wooden ruler and wears short skirts...

Unfortunately, I have never heard of her. I should read other things in the conservative blogosphere besides Swift. Other conservatives who I have never heard of, such as the son of that un-gorgeous Lucianne Goldberg, seem to get awfully angry at Jon. And his measured responses to their vulgarity are so, well, "reasonable."

Conservative bloggers need to stick together, especially now that the majority of Americans seem to be voting in a most un-American manner. Someone needs to investigate the unAmericaninanity of the population!

Anonymous said...

This blog is very good Mr Swift and proves how biased the MSM is. That the MSM did not investigate John Edwards for fornication until after it became clear he would not get the Democratic nomination goes to show that they have no scruples and will support anyone against the God-fearing. I truly fear for my American friends if this AntiChrist is elected.
And believe it. It is true that we bear witness to the AntiChrist as foretold by Nostradamus. Google Ray MABUS and you will see that Hussein Osama is succoured by a representative of Lucifer himself which is why at all his rallies he proclaims the light will shine down on him ( Lucifer = Light ).
Your readers ( not the sin-loving ones who have been hypnotised by the cathode rays that emit from television screens and have warped so many minds ) the good Christian ones may not accept the truths that Nostradamus was able to see BUT I urge them to read this:
http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=29178

Oliver North is a fine upstanding and true believing American and was President Bush's 2004 National Day of Prayer Honorary Chairman. He has overheard Democratics worshipping Hussein Osama on the Washington Expressway and was very frightened.
We must pray the Lord will not allow The Tribulation yet and beg Him to intervene on election day.
What will be, will be BUT we must not Hope for The End but redouble our efforts in this time of spiritual warfare so that as many souls may be saved when the true Messiah does finally return.
In faith.
Yours truly a British believer in "That Shining City On The Hill".

Anonymous said...

Apologies.
In my above post I meant to write:
“Dulles Greenway”
not
"Washinton Expressway"

Yours truly a British believer in "That Shining City On The Hill".

Prayer also teaches us to trust, to accept that God's plan unfolds in His time, not our own; that trust is not always easy, as we discover in our own lives, but trust is the source of ultimate confidence. We affirm that all of life, and all of history, rests entirely on the character of our creation and our Creator. And His love and His mercy extend to all and endure forever.
May God bless you all.

- George W Bush. May 6, 2004.

Anonymous said...

Can't get any weirder than the British believer. (Wasn't that a Monkees' song?)

Great post. All the lunacy in one place.

Anonymous said...

Excellent try, but the shot of Donald Sutherland isn't from "Don't Look Now, " but the remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." He did it in '78, right after "Animal House," which puts it on topic for this blog. A scary moment, right at the end of the film, but not as scary as the last eight years. Funny blog... but too close to be true. Maybe the pods took all of us over, which is why Bush was never impeached.

Anonymous said...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yes.........

Nice to see the old Jon is back and true to form! Great way to reawaken the angry beast to provoke endless replies due to lotsa links!

Free speech is dangerous! It's like shouting "fire" in a crowded echo chamber!

Lovin' every bit of it!

SM said...

Jeez. You really pulled some out on this one, Jon.

Anonymous said...

I read althouse's furious response...will there, dare we hope it, be a "swift response"?

fish said...

I have to admit I am a bit confused. You clearly are vigorously defending Ann's ability to see what isn't there, yet see seems upset by this fact.
I will also suggest that you are being a bit inconsistent by insisting that she must have read your post in order to comment on it. Clearly she can see the post without seeing it, QED.

Comrade Kevin said...

An Obama victory would produce some fascinating crackpot theories at Pammy Atlas' blog.

A.R.Yngve said...

And in related news, Joe-Bob Sispak claims that Obama turned him into a newt:
http://aryngve.blogspot.com/2008/10/nurglon-supporters-claim-barack-obama.html
;-P

Anonymous said...

The "whitey" tape did show up. She was clearly saying "why'd he," as in "If George Bush says blahblahblah, then why'd he blahblahblah."

Wingnuts are, on the whole, very, very stupid people.

Anonymous said...

I must tip my hat, Jon. Well done.

Anonymous said...

After a long, hard day...so nice to laugh my ass off.

My God, imagine whats gonna happen if Obama wins...the whole table of "new release" books at the bookstore will be nothing but crackpot tomes about Obama for YEARS.

James Higham said...

Sometimes tongue in cheek is a bit subtle for some readers, Jon.

Anonymous said...

Obama: those ears are not really his. He got them from his father Mister Spock.

Smears said...

wow. on one hand I am pretty shocked. on the other hand, I really am not that surprised that conservative bloggers are crazy, im just more surprised that fox news didnt sink its teeth into some of these meaty stories. oh wait.. they did

Anonymous said...

Found you through Eric Alterman's blog, Altercation. Terrific piece--thoroughly entertaining. I've bookmarked you. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

I liked the one about Ann Althouse. I went and read her angry response and her comments. She's a nasty little name-caller, which could help to explain her logical challenges.

"You know, just because the thing I saw wasn't there doesn't mean there wasn't something there that I didn't see." - Ann Althouse

The final argument of those who just can't let go of their illusions. "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." And this is a respected professor of law. There is a very simple reason why absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. It's because absence of evidence isn't evidence of ANYTHING. Absence is only one of an infinite number of things that absence of evidence is not evidence for. That's why courts try to avoid convicting people based on an absence of evidence. Retracting the statement while falling back on a logical fallacy that suggests it still might be true is disingenuous at best.

Anonymous said...

well, then explain this:

www.maverick2008.com

who is behind this? and why?

ptet said...

Gz on a fabulous post :)

Here's another one, from a comment at StopTheACLU...

"...one of the rumors that I have heard was that OBurkha will not release his medical records because they would show that he is HIV-positive..."

http://tinyurl.com/5h48xr

Presumably Palin won't release her medical records for a similar reason. Maybe they'll show she was once a man?

ptet said...

Ooh! Ooh! Here's another one...

"Word is that Obambi has NOT kicked the mary jane habit." - Ex-Democrat at HotAir

Making stuff up on the spot to smear an opponent. Jesus did it all the time..

Micgar said...

All of these stories, Jon, are at once riotous, inflammatory, and scathing! I say that because I laughed riotously enough to get hemmoroids, (inflammation) and then the scathing began! Keep up these types of investigations, and I might rupture something!

ptet said...

Just to keep them all in one place...

AtlasShrugs says Obama is really the son of Malcolm X. No, really. (Via Ezra Klein).

Anonymous said...

You've GOT to be kidding me. I don't know how many times I laughed in disbelief while reading this garbage. I was never a huge fan of Obama.. I much preferred Hillary Clinton. But come ON! Obama is not the gay pedofile terrorist antichrist. Most of these stories are exactly that... stories. The "facts" are pieced together desperately by anxious (and dare I say racist) conservatives who's majority basis is hypothetical assupmtion. Get a grip! And for the record, I am as white as you can get. But I'm voting Obama!

Anonymous said...

and to think that i feared satire was dead during these last few weeks of the election, because as soon as palin opens her mouth, something comes out of it that makes me wonder how anyone could possibly satirize it. this piece is brilliant. thank you!

i'd stopped reading even most reputable conservative blogs because they seemed crazier than usual. i remember the clinton years; it appears that the obama years will bring even more right-wingnuttery to the internets. *sigh*.

first time reader; i'll be back -- even though some of your commenters seem to need their sarcasm meter adjusted.

Anonymous said...

great wrap of what has happened so far; enjoyed it very much!

Jesse W.
http://www.subprimeblogger.com

Anonymous said...

This is ridiculous. Obama went to Hawaii to visit a dying relative, who did pass away. In your world, everything is a 'conspiracy'. Stop smoking weed and please contribute to our society. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

You know, Jon, you are so articulate and dedicated to what you do. I'm sorry that I wasn't as receptive to this post as I have been to most of your stuff in the past.

I do have to mention though, your choice of photo? I can laugh about it now -- Invasion of the Body Snatchers? LOL! Was that a way of saying Obama's campaign was the Invasion of the Brain Snatchers? Too funny! I told you this was entertaining. ;)

Love you, love your blog! Stay away from Limbaugh -- he's unstable!

Anonymous said...

Where do I begin???? Ah...The Harlem Fucking Globetrotters? Terrorist bomber in Columbia?

You people are fucking WHACKED!!!!! I don't give a rat's ass if you delete my comment.

Take your fucking MEDS, moron!!!

Utah Savage said...

Happy Thanksgiving and keep up the brilliant work. Even though we won, the Chimpy can still fuck us up, so stay vigilant, cause we all need to be on the lame duck watch. Quack Quack!

Micgar said...

It's still funny even after a little over 2 months! Here's to a great new year!

Anonymous said...

I won't name numbers, but it's possible that you're getting beat in the A.S.S.P.O.T.Y. Awards ;-)

Anonymous said...

I'm the girl that he sent to the Caribbean :(
He still calls every now and then..

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