In a year when Al Gore won an Oscar, an Emmy and the Nobel Peace Prize, you might think that awards have lost all of their meaning. But there is one one last chance to restore integrity to the award-giving process. The judges for the 2007 Weblog Awards have nominated this modest blog for an award in the category of Funniest Blog. Voting for my blog (which you can do here) will not restore the luster to Henry Kissinger's Nobel Peace Prize, which has been forever tainted by Gore's win, but it will send an important message that there are some prizes that Gore does not have a lock on, besides the Presidency, of course.
There are nine other nominees in my category and while none of them admit to being Al Gore, some, or all, of them may be Al Gore blogging under a pseudonym (which, he will be happy to know, thanks to the efforts of me and my friends on the blogosphere, would no longer bar him from having an account on Facebook). And there is no guarantee that if one of these other nominees wins, even if they aren't actually Al Gore, that they won't just turn around and hand their award over to Al Gore. I am the only nominee who has sworn an oath that if I win, I will not give it away to Al Gore no matter how much he begs me. So the only way to make absolutely sure that this award does not fall into Al Gore's hands is to vote for me.
If that is not reason enough to cast your vote for Jon Swift, let me also remind you that last year I was also nominated in this category but did not win. There is nothing more pathetic than a two-time loser. Another loss would not only put me on the road to becoming the Susan Lucci of the blogosphere, it would probably turn me into a bitter and twisted shell of a blogger and I know you don't want that to happen. For those of you who still insist that awards should be based on merit, however, I urge you to check out the Best of Jon Swift or take a look at some of these highlights from the past year:
Vote Here for Jon Swift for Funniest Blog
Everyone is permitted to vote once a day until November 8. The Weblog Awards system, which is impervious to hacking by all but the most sophisticated Indian teenagers, will not let you vote again if you have already voted on the same computer in the preceding 24 hours.
Of course, there are a number of other fine blogs that have been nominated in other categories and I would like to highlight a few blogs from my blogroll that I think also deserve your support:
Best Literature Blog
Even though I don't read books, this category features five great blogs from my blogroll: Maud Newton, Classical Bookworm, Erik Hare, Writer's Block (to which I owe a great deal of gratitude for giving me an award for my piece "Who Needs Books?") and last, but certainly not least, Diary of a Heretic by my dear friend and frequent commenter Kathleen Maher, who has labored in undeserved obscurity long enough.
Best UK Blog
Speaking of obscurity, Nourishing Obscurity is not only the best British Blog, its proprietor is also the generous and hardworking founder of Blogpower a worthy organization dedicated to giving a voice to smaller blogs and one of my favorite people in the blogosphere. If blogging had a Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, he would surely win it.
Best Culture Blog
Is there a better writer on film on the Internet today than the always scintillating Self-Styled Siren? I can't think of one.
Best Middle East or Africa Blog
Eatbees writes about places I hope I never have to visit in a way that is always fascinating to read. And as far as I know, he's not on any Homeland Security watch lists.
Best European Blog (Non UK)
Even though Michael Van Der Galien comes from what Donald Rumsfeld called "Old Europe" he is surprisingly knowledgeable about what's happening now.
I love reading about the adventures of Robin Slick and her cool rock-star children. Apparently, she thinks I'm someone famous. I don't have the heart to tell her that I'm actually not Brad Pitt, despite the resemblance.
Best Education Blog
I believe the Van Halen song "Hot for Teacher" was originally written as a tribute to NYC Educator, though I might be mistaken.
Best Video Blog
The fact that Crooks & Liars actually let a conservative like myself guest blog says a lot about the fine folks there, but I would also like to put in a word for a very worthy dark horse candidate Hot Potato Mash, who not only posts some great videos, he produces many of them himself.
Best LGBT Blog
I have no idea what LGBT stands for but it must must be something good judging by the caliber of blogs in this category, including Republic of T, Pam's House Blend, Susie Bright's Journal and Fetch me my axe.
Best Political Coverage
I think the folks at Foreign Policy Watch may even be smarter than the experts in the State Department, which is high praise indeed.
Best Science Blog
Science is dead but Pharyngula refuses to stop blogging about it. You have to admire his persistence.
Best Liberal Blog
Even though I am a conservative, some of my best friends on the blogosphere are liberals (since I'm completely colorblind I'm not sure, however, if some of my best friends are black). I'm going to have a hard time choosing from among such blogs as Shakesville, skippy the bush kangaroo, Orcinus, Glenn Greenwald's Unclaimed Territory, Hullabaloo and Pandagon.
Joe Gandelman at The Moderate Voice and Ed Morrissey of Captain's Quarters are without a doubt two of the nicest, most honorable and most talented bloggers in the blogosphere and I am proud to call them my friends even though they believe, oddly, that political opponents should be treated with decency, an idea that seems almost quaint in this day and age. (Unfortunately, for technical reasons The Moderate Voice has been moved to the Best of the Top 251 - 500 Blogs category.) Captain's Quarters is also nominated for Best Conservative Blog.
There are a number of great blogs on our blogroll in the TTLB categories. I don't think I'm the only one who is going to have a hard time choosing.
Best of the Top 250 Blogs
Bitch Ph.D., Jesus' General, Balloon Juice, and MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Best of the Top 251 - 500 Blogs
The Moderate Voice, Tbogg, The Carpetbagger Report, Feministe, and Fausta
Best of the Top 501 - 1000 Blogs
Avedon Carol's The Sideshow, The Poor Man Institute, Woman Honor Thyself, The Smirking Chimp, and Agonist
Best of the Top 1001 - 1750 Blogs
Newshoggers, Obsidian Wings, Slacktivist, Dispatches from the Culture Wars, and Echidne of the Snakes
Best of the Top 2501 - 3500 Blogs
Booker Rising, Creek Running North, A Tiny Revolution, driftglass, and Acephalous
Best of the Top 3501 - 5000 Blogs
Streak's Blog, (parenthetical remarks), Ken Levine, Prometheus 6, The Galloping Beaver, and Dr. Joan Bushwell's Chimpanzee Refuge
Best of the Top 5001 - 6750 Blogs
The Debate Link, Whiskey Fire, Gay Orbit, The Field Negro, Simply Left Behind, and Three Wise Men!
Best of the Top 6751 - 8750 Blogs
Jack and Jill Politics, Abnormal Interests, Reno and Its Discontents, HE&OS--Home Education & Other Stuff, and Scholars & Rogues
Best of the Rest of the Blogs (8751+)
Kiko's House, Political Grind, and konagod
If I've left off any nominees who are on my blogroll, please let me know.