Sunday, February 19, 2006

What Really Happened on the Armstrong Ranch?

Although Vice President Dick Cheney valiantly took the blame for the shooting of Harris Whittington, the press, with its irrational hatred of the Vice President, just can't seem to let the story die. Yet even as they relentlessly attempt to blame the Vice President for what happened, they seem to be overlooking some of the most logical explanations for what transpired in Corpus Christi last week, which may actually absolve the Vice President from any guilt at all. Here are some of the stories the press should be covering:

The 18-and-a-Half-Hour Gap:
Many in the press can't seem to get over the 18-and-a-half-hour gap between when the incident occurred and when Karen Armstrong alerted the press. Here is a picture (above) I have obtained of Karen Armstrong attempting to call the Corpus Christi Caller-Times. As you can see she was put in a very awkward position and I think that this picture amply demonstrates why there would have been a time delay.

A Second Shooter: Who says that Vice President Cheney was the lone gunman? The shooting of Harris Whittington shows evidence of military training and it turns out that the Vice President, who got four deferments from serving in Vietnam, has never had military training. This diagram (right) demonstrates that a second shooter could have been the one who shot Whittington from a grassy knoll on the Armstrong ranch.

The Search for WMDs: Was this whole incident actually a cover for what the Vice President was really doing in Corpus Christi: searching for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction? In this satellite photo of the Armstrong Ranch (left) you can clearly see what appear to be facilities for the creation of WMDs. It is entirely possible that Saddam Hussein moved his WMD facilities to Corpus Christi, Texas, and the Vice President was at the Armstrong Ranch investigating. This whole "shooting" could have been an elaborate ruse to throw the press off the trail until the Vice President gathers enough evidence.

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JReid said...

In lieu of a trackback.

Great post! Really gets to the heart of the conspiracy ;)

sukabi said...

actually it was 5 deferrments, the last one was for expectant fathers, the first 4 were college deferrments

Mort Snerd said...

I LOVE your sense of humor! Keep it up!

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