When Giuliani Is President, Every Day Will Be 9/11

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani is now leading the pack of Republican presidential contenders and some conservatives are a little concerned, even though most conservatives are embracing him. Although everyone applauds his heroic conduct on September 11, 2001, some conservatives think he may be too liberal on many social issues and there are questions about his personal life and temperament. Isn't it unfair, though, to judge a man on how he behaved on 22,930 days of his life instead of the day he was at his best? Besides, Giuliani is not running on these other 22,930 days of his life, he's running on just this one day, and when Giuliani is President, every day will be 9/11.

That's not to say that Giuliani didn't do some good things on the other 2,917 days when he was mayor of New York. A Giuliani presidency would finally make America safe from squeegee men, ferret owners and artists flinging elephant dung, which were among some of the menaces he fought as mayor of New York. But what has some conservatives concerned is that during his term as mayor Giuliani was pro-choice, pro-gay rights and pro-gun control. Giuliani says that the positions he took to get elected mayor of New York, which he is not exactly backing away from, are really just a matter emphasis. Critics are taking a glass-half-empty approach by emphasizing all the things he is for instead of the things he is against. All along he has really been against abortion, against gay marriage and against taking away people's guns. And no one asked him where he stood on these issues on September 11 anyway. September 11 changed everything, and nothing at all.

But not all conservatives are convinced that Giuliani should only have to account for one day of his life. In a recent interview on CNN, Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention voiced concerns about Giuliani's family values. "He's in his third marriage, and the second marriage ended in a messy divorce, with his second wife taking out a restraining order to keep him from bringing his mistress to the official residence of the mayor of New York," Land said. "That's a huge character issue." After Giuliani publicly humiliated his wife by announcing he was divorcing her in a press conference before telling her and then was barred from Gracie Mansion, he moved in with a gay couple, which might make some conservatives a little uncomfortable if they knew. His divorce and remarriage also appears to have created strains with his children. But none of this matters either because on September 11, Giuliani was our strong and steadfast father figure, the reassuring patriarch of our happy, close-knit family.

Already the liberal media is adding to concerns of some conservatives by dwelling on the other 22,930 days of Giuliani's life and trying to take the focus away from the only day that really counts. "The Giuliani tenure at City Hall was, until the attacks of Sept. 11, a blur of a combative mayor fighting with political opponents, civil rights leaders, voters and reporters," Adam Nagourney writes in The New York Times. The article quotes former New York mayor Ed Koch, who says there is a "bad Giuliani…who insulted rivals, refused to meet with critics, was ruthless in attacking political enemies" and a "good Giuliani" who was on display on September 11. Luckily, the "bad Giuliani" is not running for President.

Why are so many conservatives, however, prepared to give Giuliani a pass on the non-9/11 days of his life? Like most Americans, conservatives are nostalgic for September 11 the way an earlier generation was nostalgic about World War II. It was a day when all Americans were united regardless of political ideology, race, religion (with the possible exception of Muslims) or even sexual orientation (until we later learned from Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and Dinesh D'Souza how gays and lesbians were actually responsible for the attacks). Americans even liked New York on September 11. On that day there was no messy war in Iraq, Katrina was the name of the leader of an '80s pop band that sang about sunshine and Walter Reed was one of the best hospitals in the country. When Giuliani is elected President we can relive those halcyon days again and again and again.

In our mind's eye no matter what he does or has done, Giuliani will always be on a perpetual tape loop playing footage of him amidst the rubble of the World Trade Center. I think conservatives are hoping that a Giuliani presidency will be a lot like a movie, specifically the movie Groundhog Day; that is, if it took place on September 11 instead of February 2. In that movie Bill Murray not only relived a single day over and over, he improved over time. Every day he became a better and better person and eventually won the heart of Andie MacDowell (whose acting skills, oddly, never did improve). Imagine a Giuliani who started with how he was on September 11 and just got better. Imagine a President who actually learned from his mistakes. In the movie Bill Murray was even able to prevent bad things from happening before they occurred. After reliving September 11 over and over, perhaps eventually Giuliani would be able to stop a terrorist attack before it happened. After 1,459 days of September 11, maybe we could get it right this time. But then again, that might just put us right back to September 10. I guess what worries some people is which Giuliani would show up on that day?

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