Saturday, July 15, 2006

Looking at the Bright Side of World War III

As events in the Middle East spiral out of control, many are worried that we may be on the brink of World War III. I must admit that I, too, was concerned about the violence and bloodshed over there until I started reading what folks on the Rapture Ready Forum are saying. They don't seem very concerned at all with what is happening there. In fact, they are downright giddy at the prospect of all-out war. For them, every rocket that flies into Israel and every bridge that is blown up in Lebanon just brings us one step closer to the end of the world, which is a good thing. They made me realize that it was un-Christian of me to be thinking only of the innocent Israelis, Lebanese and Palestinians caught in the middle of the fighting instead of the Rapture that awaits those of us who are saved. Where others see only tragedy, we saved Christians see the fulfillment of prophesy. Instead of seeing the silver lining in every storm cloud, to us the storm clouds are the silver linings.

I must say the excitement of some of the posters at Rapture Ready is infectious. (Note: Apparently the thread where some of these comments appeared has mysteriously disappeared for some reason though some of these quotes can also be seen elsewhere on the Internet. Update: Thanks to Daryl Cobranchi, who has pointed out that a Google cache copy of the thread is available here.) "For the first time in my Christian walk, I have no doubts that the day of the Lords appearing is upon us," writes Ohappyday. "I have never felt this way before, I have a joy that bubbles up every-time I think of him, for I know this is truly the time I have waited for so long." A person who posts under the name "Waitin" exclaims, "I too am soooo excited!! I get goose bumps. It was quite a day yesterday, in the world news, and I add in local news here in the Boston area!! Tunnel ceiling collapsed on a car and killed a woman of faith, and we had the most terrifying storms I have ever seen here!! But, yes, Ohappyday, like in your screen name, it is most indeed a time to be happy and excited, right there with ya!!" "My head is spinning...I want to stay on the news 24 hours!" says jreed3. "Everything is on hold here at my house. No housework, cooking, sewing, anything. All focus is on breaking events over there," writes BamaLady. "I think that things are going really fast now!! Come Lord Jesus!!" elfuddo exults.

Events are moving so quickly that Kidsintow123 is wondering if she will be ready to meet her "Bridegroom," Christ. She would prefer that the Rapture be delayed just a bit so that she will have time to get her hair and nails done because she wants to be "all spiffied up for Him when He does arrive to take me home." (Let me just add in case anyone gets the wrong idea that I believe Jesus is only a "bridegroom" for women since they don't have gay marriage in Heaven.)

But while recent events in the Middle East have brought on this latest explosion of elation, for quite some time the posters at Rapture Ready have tracked every earthquake and volcano, every report of an Avian Flu outbreak, and every change in the weather, hoping, praying that this is a sign of His Second Coming. Many are thumbing through their copies of the Left Behind series of books (which claims that the Antichrist will be the son of two homosexual fathers, so keep a watchful eye on the children of any gay couples you know) looking for evidence that This Is It! BHiles points out that one sign to look out for is the destruction of Damascus prophesied in Isaiah 17. (Update: BHiles ego-Googles and discovers this site.) Many Christians, who were very disappointed when Israel apparently set back the clock on Armageddon when it entered into the peace process with the Palestinians, are praying that Israel will be the agent of the destruction of Damascus, for which Christians would be very grateful, although, sadly, the citizens of Israel will ultimately be among those Left Behind. (If it's any consolation to the people of Israel just let me say that I will be thinking of you up in Heaven.)

There are a few Christians, however, for whom the human toll of the violence in the Middle East gives them brief pause. I doubt these wet blankets are very much fun at church socials. "Am I alone in feeling guilty about the human suffering like my joy at his appearing some how fuels the evil I see everywhere," Ohappyday says. "If it were not for the souls that hang in the balance and the horror that stalks man daily on this earth, my joy would be complete." In another thread Empyrean asks, "Is it wrong to feel excited about all that is going on in the Middle East right now? I am torn between wanting all hell to break loose over there, because it means we are closer to going home, and guilt because of these feelings." Zhan tries to set the minds of such worrywarts at ease by pointing out that there "two separate yet connected issues here." Issue 1: excitement that "the Lord is returning soon"; and Issue 2: not so much excitement that it is "very likely 10's or 100's of millions of people are about to die." She goes on to liken the Second Coming to childbirth, which is very exciting, despite "the pain of the birthing process."

But if the Rapture is anything like harpazo1 describes, there probably won't be much time for Christians to worry about all the death and destruction they'll leave behind. "Hey guys...with all that is going on, the excitement is palpable!!!" harpazo1 writes. "I was (and have been) reflecting lately on what the actual rapture moment will be like (whenever it happens....lol).....i Know it's instantaneous but do ya think we'll have like a second of "realization" like (**horn blast**) and then thinking, "OH IT'S HAPPENING!!! THIS IS IT!!" Or we'll actually feel ourselves being lifted up and sailing through the air??? OR, do ya think we'll just like blink and be in the presence of the Lord that quick???"

If all these signs are true and we are coming upon the end of the world, it looks like I converted to Christianity just in the nick of time. Because I haven't been a Christian for very long, I didn't realize that my compassion for the victims of all the violence in the Middle East betrayed an unhealthy obsession with worldly concerns. Now I realize that the deaths of hundreds of millions of people is just part of God's plan. I wonder if George Bush and the other saved members of his Administration knew this when they decided to kick the hornet's nest in the Middle East. Anyway, if this is the beginning of World War III, I say, "Bring it on!"

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54 comments:

g1lgam3sh said...

I've been working away for some days so only just caught up.

Well up to your usual standard I am happy to say.

Always a pleasure.

Regards.

san antone rose said...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...

Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]

kudosdc said...

Heavenly Rendition! Finally a secret (wink) program I support! An apocolypse doesn't just happen by accident - it requires a conspiracy of self-fulfulling prophesizers. I say good Rapturing to you all! I can't wait to turn Mr. Dobson's estate into a 24 hour, cocaine & ecstasy rave for transexuals and scat fans!

outofcontext said...

Now I'm Greek Orthodox and my wife is Catholic and my kids are actually both. Are we covered here? Is there some sort of conversion table we can consult for Rapture Readiness? I have always planned on a deathbed conversion myself, but I still haven't decided to what. Why must I leave everything to the last minute?

outofcontext said...

Oh and by the way, while I'm confused about my own status, I'm not worried about the Jews. A guy named David Brog wrote a book called Standing With Israel from which this comforting quote comes:
"According to Darby, the original script laid out in the Old Testament called for the Jews to recognize Christ as the Messiah. When the Jews failed to do so, God needed to find a different vehicle through which to instruct humanity. Thus God temporarily suspended the prophetic timetable set out in the Old Testament and went to work building the church. ... our current age, one in which God is working through the church, actually takes place in an unanticipated great parenthesis between God's past and future dealings with Israel. At the end of this age, the true believers in Christ will literally be removed from earth to meet Christ in heaven in an event called the Rapture. When the church is thus removed from the picture, God will restart the original prophetic time clock, and the Jews will resume their place at the center of God's original prophetic plan."

See, the prophetic time clock is paused. You can read a little more about how the puzzle has been solved here

MrTwist said...

Hah! The joke is on you!

Putting so much stock in the fictional stories that are the Left Behind series is pathetic.

You can hope all you want but face the fact that Jesus is not coming back.

Thanks for letting us Jews "take care of business." Go back to daydreaming, gentile.

Anonymous said...

LETS HOPE ALL THE RAPTURE CHEERLEADERS DRINK THE KOOLAID FIRST.
Only a born again christian could twist their fucking head up enough to cheer on the end of the world and encourage it- in direct conflict with the main tenets of the bible.
But not making any goddamn sense is important to religious people I guess.

THOU SHALT NOT KILL. Leave the killing to GOD. And NO YOU ARE NOT THE HAND OF GOD GEORGE BUSH!!

Zachary Drake said...

Once again, I am honored to be linked to by such an august conservative figure as our host and author, Jon Swift. Indeed, according to our respective sitemeter traffic reports, Jon Swift gets almost six times as much traffic as I do, so I am hextupley blessed by his link.

I am particularly flattered that he linked to me with the word "Christian", as my adherence to that divine faith, manifestly superior to all others, constitutes the very core of my identity.

Swift and I went on a similar journey of faith: we both started in the benighted valley of fear and pessimism, thinking that hatred violence in the Middle East was a bad thing. But now, thanks to the glorious prophets at Rapture Ready, we have passed into the blessed land of war cheerleading and rapturous anticipation.

Doug@usa.com said...

Actually, there are several good things that can come out of WWIII.

First off, we can dismiss the "rapture" nonsense as it requires the existence of a god. Unfortunately, the existence of god believers is far more real than the god, whose rules they violate.

The benefits start accruing when you consider who is involved in this war. This group includes: christians, jews, moslems and mercenaries. These are the people that are going to be killed and maimed in this war. Every death from among this group makes the world a safer and happier place.

Second, this will be the destruction of the state of Israel, a blight on the justice of the world, whose loss will be a case of addition by subtraction.

Third, if chemical or nuclear weapons are used, there is a good chance the oil could be destroyed, contaminated or otherwise made unusable. This eliminates the political/economic power of the corrupt Arab dictatorships and the corrupt US government/oil industry that feeds off their oil and money.

The loss of the oil would also free the way for other energy sources that have been suppressed by the oil industry/government. This could actually be a positive to the earth's overall ecological health if oil is replaced within a decade instead of 30-50 years down the road.

So yes, while the war will cause a lot of loss of life, it will be lives we are better off without and the political and ecological benefits could be astoundingly positive.

"Humanity will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest." - Denis Diderot

Anonymous said...

Bunch of religious psychopaths. The only good thing about another world war is hopefully itll kill all you backwards retards off. Maybe then the rest of us can start moving forward once youre good n dead n gone. Youre the bane of existance, it'll be good to see you gone.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I've thought of the Fire and Brimstone scenario myself. That wouldn't surprise me and it would be better for Israel if it were the Hand Of God that did the destroying. Somehow though, because of Isaiah's prophesy, it sounds like the world is going to be outraged at Israel because of it. So then it sounds more like the actions of Israel that are involved in that cities demise.

Well, I've got to get up early tomorrow for a change. Have to take the dog to the vet for her booster shots, so must get to beddie- bye.

Good night, and God bless you for keeping us night owls up to date.

YSIC,
Chris

Anonymous said...

If God is willing to prevent evil,
but not able,
then He is not omnipotent.

If God is able but not willing,
then He is malevolent.

If God is both able and willing,
then whence cometh evil?

If He is neither able nor willing,
then why call Him God?

- Epicurus (341-271 BC)

Olympian said...

It's war. There IS no bright side. Where do you live? Want someone to come bomb YOUR house? You naive fools are as self centered as you are stupid.

Are their beliefs different? YES. Is their culture different? YES. Are they different? YES. Do you have the right to judge them by this? NO. Do you have the right to invade their territories, bomb their women and children to smolders, all for the sake of saving their eternal souls? NO.

I am non-religious, but I believe in the word that all of the prophets gave to us. Yes, that includes Muhammad and the teachings of the Qur'an, as well as Jesus of Nazerene and the teachings of the Bible.

BASELINE: BE GOOD TO ONE ANOTHER.
BASELINE: DO NOT MURDER.
BASELINE: BE A GOOD PERSON.

Both religions taught these things. Is it the innocent do-gooder that must pay because some bastard like yourself decides that somebody needs to die so that their soul can be saved?

Is it so difficult to stay the hell out of other people's business?

Is it so difficult to accept that people are different and do things differently?

The body of the whole should not be punished for the sin of the cuticle.

I have read all of your commentary, and you people are more frightening to me than any Fetayen Suicide Bomber, or an Al'Quaeda bombing, or a jetplane filled with explosives. Your ideas sicken the very air I breathe.

And yet... I, and other people like myself, allow you to do something I honestly shouldn't. I allow you to continue living. The world would be a much more peaceful place without sick-minded, convoluted, self-indulgent, self-fulfilling, incompassionate, inbred, naive, incompetent, fundamentalist f*cktards like yourselves.

You know what though? If I led a "Jihad" or a "Holy War" against people like you, I would be NO BETTER than you. I can guarantee all of you though, if it were to come between my life and liberty, and your deaths, I would sentence all of you to the gallows for crimes against humanity, or the support of crimes against humanity.

You all want a vengeful God? You all want the end of the world? You all want to go to heaven for it?--You all want something that you don't deserve? Try as hard as you want, but those sickening black souls in your hearts are only going to make God sentence you to an eternity of damnation.

Jesus did not teach "kill the arabs", nor did Muhammad teach "kill the jews and christians". It is well beyond me, as to why the lot of you can allow yourselves to be turned into such a sick and twisted weapon.

You do realize, that both Jesus and Muhammad are rolling around in their graves while their angelic spirits are trading gut punches because it's pretty fcking clear:

NONE OF YOU GOT THE DAMNED PICTURE.

You people make me SICK.
May you all die horrible deaths caused by your own stupidity.

Thank you.

-OlympianDynasty

Anonymous said...

As Israel flings missles around the Middle East, the US gov't clamps down on the homefront (homeland). Israel is a distraction while the US gov't detains peaceful demonstrators, pressures Amazon to drop the book "America Deceived" by E.A. Blayre III and taps all our phones without a warrant. Soon, the US will attack Iran (opening a 3rd US front) and push the region into chaos. Add in a false-flag operation on US soil (like 9/11) and the public wil clamour for One World Gov't.
Last link (before Google Books caves and pulls the title):
http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?&isbn=0-595-38523-0

Anonymous said...

Jon,
I believe you are in need of immediate medical attention, particularly if you are under the impression that you are "reasonable", or that FOX news and Rush Limbaugh are unbiased. It's difficult to ascertain what is meant as cynicism from a person who actually believes that the death of the innocent is a good thing. The height of arrogance is anyone that creates G*d in their own image. I'm confident that I'm able to cast quite a bit of doubt on anyones perception of G*d, particularly those on your site or the Rapture site that cannot even spell the word Israel. I'll pray that all of you sick blood thirsty maniacs learns about Christ's teaching on compassion. You should all be ashamed, but I'm confident that you aren't. It's pathetic.

GOD said...

Can i just say that your all clearly mad

Sporty said...

What a perfect interpretation of Christ those people have realized! I'm jealous.

I'm still stuck on the "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you part".

Any help would be appreciated!

BenMerc said...

“Let no profane enter here”

The Ionian Teacher…

Again Jon, nice turn out !
Especially that “god” character…how do you do it?

kudosdc said...

The anonymous shall inherit the earth, for they do not vowel the name of the lord.

Anonymous said...

According to Islam, before Jesus' return, the world will be led by the Antichrist for years. THey say he will be blind in one eye, will have people believe in him, following him like sheep. They will mostly be women and jews. This is the Messiah the jews were awaiting. Once in power, there will be destruction everywhere, sickness, death and mayhem.
It is not till all this comes to be for years, will Jesus, the son of Mary descent among us, as a just ruler. They say he will descent in Damascus and put an end to the difference between Islam and Christianity. He will "break the cross and kill the swine" which menas that Christianity will cease to exist as a separate religion. Remember, the entire creed of Christianity is based on teh doctrine that God caused his only son (the Prophet Jesus) to die an "accursed" death on the cross, which made him the atonement for the sin of man. With this the Christians among prophetic communities abandoned the Divine Law so much so that they even made swine lawful, which was forbidden in the Law of all prophets. Therefore, When the Prophet Jesus does descend, he will declare himself: I am neither son of GOd, nor did I die on the cross, nor became atonement for anybody's sin."

Jesus will then lead the people, former christians and muslims alike, in prayer.

This all takes place in Damascus, once fires are to reach that holy land, the oldest city in the world.

Yet those of you that can't wait to see the end of the world, this will be a calamity, one of which all the prophets of old wished not to witness. There will be suffering, not a quick death like you all think and then meet the Lord.

You will wish you never witnessed same, for it will all be horrific.

Pray for peace, pray for the ignorance to end, know that as Muslims and Christians, there is only a thread of difference in our beliefs. There are also many good Jews we have to have faith in also. Those that believe in peace and deny zionism. Know that it is with this Zionist state of Israel and the the United States following their orders that all these events will come, and hopefully not soon.

Cheesesteak said...

outofcontext - I'm afraid you're stuck in the bucket as much as I am. Born-agains believe that you must really be born again to get into heaven, be blessed, etc. They think we're going to hell.

Kathy K said...

Nice work.

One would think your name (and picture) would give some people a clue, wouldn't one?

I guess they were just left behind...

Anonymous said...

The bigotted, small minded lack of logic in this post sums up what is wrong with the world today. I am not a christian but I know for a fact the feelings and words written here are the exact opposite of the teachings of Jesus. To wish harm to anyone in order to fullfill one's own belief of "destiny" or "prophecy should cause fear in people, not be applauded. If that is christianity, I want nothing of it.

In a way, it would be nice if this were the beginnings of the rapture of christians - leave so the rest of us can live in peace.

Blessed be and remember, as it harms none, do what ye will.

The Truffle said...

If its the Rapture, will the Man from Mars be coming to shoot us dead and eat our heads?

MistahCharley said...

As I understand it, "Blessed are the cheesemakers" actually applies to all involved in the manufacture and distribution of dairy products.

I'm not really sure about products like "soy milk" or margarine, however. On the one hand, they are sold in the dairy section, and take the place of dairy products in the diet. On the other hand, they are not actually derived from mammalian milk.

Maybe this is one of the issues we'll have more clarity on later. Right now, we see as in a glass, darkly; but later, it will be face-to-face.

Anonymous said...

you are a complete and total fucking idiot. i thought your blog was a joke at first, it's too ridiculous to be believed. You are a fool.

bernie said...

Jesus did not teach "kill the arabs", nor did Muhammad teach "kill the jews and christians". It is well beyond me, as to why the lot of you can allow yourselves to be turned into such a sick and twisted weapon.

Actually Mohammed did teach "kill the infidel". This is what happens when people who never read the Q'uran quote Christian concepts.

Kevin said...

Yawn, your blog... your "satire" is lame. Do you think that straw man arguments and pretending to be a caracture of conservatives is some how actually useful. The only value you're bringing Jon is inflaming the situation and creating a greater rift between people with different viewpoints. Is this all you have... pretending to be a characture of a conservative? Idiot.

zenyenta said...

Maybe if we tell them it's the end of the world they'll go ahead and leave us behind. They keep promising they will, but they're still here. They're like the obnoxious relatives who come and stay with you and won't leave. Enjoy the rapture. Don't forget to write. See you on the flipside. Byeeeee!

outofcontext said...

I'm so gullible. I used to think you were really smart. But having read all the comments, I have to say I agree with anonymous, anonymous, anonymous, anonymous and Kevin. Your an idiot. Now stop pretending to be a caricature and go out and really be one.

BenMerc said...

you people are dense...it is typically well beyond politics, it is in the realm of human nature, or behavior et al. ultra-conservatism (that includes the religious right) and knee jerk liberalism are frequent targets on this blog simply because they run around with large bulls-eyes glued to their foreheads…everyone else, get a grip.

ric said...

"The day of the Lord cometh like a thief in the night..."

If it apppears *THIS* obvious how can it be thief like? Just a little question begging.

Remember when Sadam was lobing missles at Israel and the rapture was coming then? or back when Israel was invading Lebanon the last time and the rapture was right around the corner? An wasn't the temple in Jerusalem supposed to be rebuit first?

Cry wolf and let slip the hounds of lunatics...

John Haser said...

SCATHING!!!

Keep eating those Irish babies! Very enjoyable blog! I'm marking it now (well, not 'now' per se, but in bout 10 seconds... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... three... two... one..)

Anonymous said...

What the hell is "born again" anyway? Is it like the "undead"? Is that because those f*cking morons have not completed their destruction before they die and Satan made them "born again" so that they can complete their task? I bet if the America ever becomes lawless due to war, those "born again" idiots will be the first to get shot, and looted. They know it too, and that is why they pray to get beamed up and leave the rest behind. Good luck to them and their prayers.

Jae said...

Such hostility on this one! It's funny how all the people who keep quoting how the Bible and Qur'an was never meant to advocate violence, get angry at the ones who are using it for such, and then they advocate violence against them! Anyone who claims they love Jesus and are cheering for violence anywhere on earth completely missed what he was talking about.

Anonymous said...

IF all the freaks like you got zapped out of this world all of a sudden, that'd be like, heaven on earth, wouldn't it?

Martin LaBar said...

Great work! I found this through the Christian Carnival.

MsFreud said...

Only an asshat would think that thousands of people being killed is a good thing. Bush is as much a holy war crusader as Bin Laden... in the name of another God.... apparently yours.
I have never heard such retarded drivel in my life. Won't you feel stupid when NO ONE disappears from airplanes and leaves the clothing behind. No child is born of two gay men... and no one left with the mark of the beast... but there are many people killed in the name of a God, Allah, Buddha, or Whoever ...and the people are dead just the same. The kids are just as orphaned, the women are just as widowed.
It is zealots like YOU that incense the flames of war and have for millennia.
It is people like you that should die first, you bastard.

CyberCelt said...

Explain your view of war to the 1000s that are maimed or left homeless. Tell them to rejoice because the end is at hand.

Every generation since Christ has believed that the end of the world was going to happen during their lifetime.

This gives them an excuse to ignore the plight of others in need and the destruction of the environment over which we were granted stewardship.

God does not rejoice at war or killing, only man does.

g1lgam3sh said...

Sartre once described moral decisions as being like partridges flying from the undergrowth.

Interesting to see you attract quail*...even if you are shooting them in a barrel.







*For those more lexically challenged I am of course alluding to one of the other meanings of quail.

Anonymous said...

They're celebrating the death of hundreds of thousands of people.

And they think you're going to go Heaven?

What kind of God do they think He is?

Philbo30 said...

I must say that, from a media perspective, certainly a WW3 is a great thing. Think about how much our ratings are going up!

WW3 will push medias profits through the roof!

Fortunately, for us, war's only bad thing for those that have to fight it and be around it. For those of us that watch it and cover it, it's about time we saw some more action!

Anonymous said...

surely this whole site is just a piss-take. rather elaborate, and amusing.

gawker said...

dear lunatics
this is satire.
type www.google.com in your browser
type satire wikipedia
press enter
click on the first result
read
close the window
read this post again
hopefully things are clearer now
thank you

don said...

Anonymous,

Make your mind up. Your comments are riddled with inconsistencies.

Although I have enjoyed some of your poems.

JCHFleetguy said...

BTW: No where in the _Left Behind_ Series does it say the anti-Christ is the son of two homosexuals. I do not remember his parentage mentioned at all.

Just always curious where some of this kind of silliness comes from.

Anonymous said...

You all are fools and should die a horrible death most likely. You will welcome it as the coming of the lord and most likely view yourselves as sinners then.I am an athiest so no rules about Jesus apply to me. So screw you all and I hope if there is a god he chooses to kill everyone of you.

sabalo75@yahoo.com said...

i think earthly events are being confused with heavenly ones
some invest all their spiritual stock in one big bang instead of crawling their way up the ladder home, or should that be flying as the holy spirit gives us wings?
i'm well aware world events are shaping up to fit Revelation, and in the process goofy preachers discard the gospel message as if it didn't matter any more. in fact the genre of Revelation is an apocolypse so of course ww3 will fit this, and said preachers will sell more books and work people into a frenzy that should be left to the holy spirit, free of charge
i at least don't believe we should hasten or wish on ww3, God does what he wants in his own time, who has the patience to measure faith?
those that do may find they are not on solid ground when the great dawn of the kingdom comes for which we all wait. lets go into this with faith and not make God a slave to world events which we ourselves are in control of or forget the purity of the gospel
just reach out to the one who can save you and be guided from within by the living one. come back to me endlessly and wars will end

matt c. said...

UPDATE ON RR MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTS

I just came across your blog and I'm very glad I did. I thought I was the only one who had stumbled across the message boards on raptureready.com and initially become worried about what they were saying only to have that fear turn into a deeper knowledge of the Scriptures.

I first stumbled on the site (I guess) on July 12, the day the Israel/Hezbollah war started. As I noted before, I was scared out of my mind at what most of them were saying. Every news headline (most of them from very dubious sources) was apparently able to be interpreted relating to Bible prophecy.

According to 98% of the members of the board, who share my core beliefs regarding Christianity, thought the "rapture" was right around the corner and this was all tied in with Biblical prophecy. Every single one of them believed that Iran and Syria would get involved, leading to the destruction of Damascus (false interpretation of Isaiah 17), leading to a Russian/Iranian/Turkish/other minor nations invasion of Israel (false interpretation of Ezekiel 38-39), leading to the "rapture," leading to the signing of a 7-year peace treaty the the "antichrist" with Israel (false interpretation of Daniel 9:27), leading to a 7-year tribulation, leading to the Second Coming, leading to a 1,000 year reign (false interpretation of Revelation 20). WHEW!

To say the least, I was freaked out. I'm ashamed to admit that I set these folks, people I didn't even know, control my thoughts and lead me to worry for several weeks. I could not stop myself from going to the site and still cannot to see what they are saying. I'm currently in the process of being "approved" for an account on the site (the message board is VERY tightly moderated) so I can maybe show these people how silly they sound.

Here's what they've been saying since the conflict that drew me to the message board has ended:

A report has surfaced that vultures have been seen increasing in Israel. Ezekiel 38-39, the chapters about the "Gog/Magog" war against Israel, talks about a "feast" after the war by vultures. They believe this is setting up perfectly for that. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=276708)

Donations for cameras to be put on the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem helping the "whole world" see the 2 witnesses that will proclaim Jesus Christ during the tribulation. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=276705)

I personally loved this one. Bill Clinton was quoted as saying that he expects something good to come out of the Middle East Peace Process in the next 2 months. This has led to speculation that the antichrist's 7-year peace treaty is in the works and that maybe even Bill Clinton knows the antichrist personally. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=276517)

A quote, from tommyg:
"I don't think anything big will happen until 2007.A lot of things will be taken Place by then,most of all Israel's taken back of Jerusalem, the 40th year generation.Also Germany's taken up the mantle of EU presidency,and the EU's Constitution to be signed in 2007.And according to Ahmadinejad the Mahdi will come back as their messiah.Strange thing's will be happening from here on out.........."

This is a very commonly discussed topic on the board; the subject of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's supposed belief in the imminent appearance of the "mahdi," of Islam's version of the Messiah. However, global chaos must be ushered in before the mahdi can appear. Thus, it is speculated on the board often that Iran will usher in this chaos with a nuclear attack on Israel which will lead the the Gog/Magog war, an important "end time" event in their view. Here's a thread on it. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=274356)

This is a very large discussion that was ongoing mostly during the battle between Israel and Hezbollah titled "Damascus & Syria -- The Next Notable Step?". It was "bumped" to the front of the boards last night. I was shocked that someone did it because it clearly exposes all the false speculation and interpretation of the members of the board. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=264474)

This is one of several threads in which people are shocked that the Israel/Hezbollah conflict actually came to a close. I have thought all along that they are downright disappointed that this war didn't boil over into something much bigger. There was a lot of wishful thinking on their part. That is really sick if you think about it. As you said, these people are pro-life but wish to see the utter destruction of Damascus, which would mean that around 2.5 million people would be killed. In a way, they are no different from Iran's president, who wishes to see global chaos erupt to the "mahdi" can appear. These people want global chaos so Jesus can return. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=275818)

A quote, from "King of Kings":
"I personally hope that Damascus is destroyed before the rapture. I think it would be an excellent witnessing tool for those believers who are sitting on the fence (lukewarm) and unbelievers."

OK. Let me get this straight. You hope that roughly 2.5 million people are killed so you can attempt to bring a handful of people to Christ using a faulty interpretation?

Here's a user, "vivid," who criticized the members of the board and promptly had his account put on "read only" status. If I'm able to get on there and post, I fully expect the same thing to happen to me. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=274950)

A quote, from "Caver":
"Label it for what it is....speculation. Pure wild speculation.

I believe Gaza will will be equipped like the Hezbos were and will start something. When Israel defends, Syria (with a little help from their friends) will get involved and try and take the GH back.

Only God knows where this will lead. Could be anything from one more pang to the destruction of the big "D". If Syria cuts loose with their VX Scuds, all bets are off. Israel will cut loose with a nuke or more. IMHO

Personally, I suspect that God has a few more limited intensity conflicts before letting the big stuff fly. That fence is going to get a good, real good, shaking first. We need to be ready to gather up what falls off."

The military buildup around Israel is a sign that the end is near. This comes from a misinterpretation of Luke 21:20. Not to mention that the European forces that are building up there are PEACEKEEPING forces and not hostile at all towards Israel. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=274530)

China having a cavalry meaning that they are ready for the Battle of Armageddon. (http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=274130)

A "secret mediator" appointed by Kofi Annan may turn out to be the antichrist. It was later revealed that he was a low-level diplomat that didn't get anything notable accomplished. ( http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=274507)

Peacekeepers in Lebanon actually being eventual attackers against Israel. (http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=273619)

More quotes about the war wanting to get started, first from "PaulsNana":
"I guess I should have added that I feel guilty for feeling this way because it is like I am wanting this war to get started."

from "waiting":
"Me too..... I still want to get the suspense over with. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is way to much stress." - How about the people who are over there living in the warzone? Ever think about their stress?

FINALLY, a voice of reason, from "Dear2HIM":
"No,
I don't want war. Jesus may not be coming back for 100 years. If things escalate again and there is an even larger conflict, it may be just that -- another war with lives lost and unsaved people loosing their souls."

Here's the full thread concering the hastening of a huge war. (http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=274039)

There is rampant date speculation on the site even though it is forbidden by the moderators.

Rosh Hashanah 2006 - (http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=274570)
Rosh Hashanah and Ramadan correlation - (http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=274344)

Their threads have been erased, but there was also rampant speculation that something could happen on August 5 (a date on which many bad things have historcally happened to the Jewish people, including the destruction of the temple), August 22 (the date where Iran's president promised a response to the West's demands to quite his nuclear program; the same night Muhammad supposedly ascended into Heaven), and August 30 (the UN deadline for Iran to quit their nuclear program).

I could go on and on and on and on with these ridiculous posts. Maybe you'll want to have a follow up on your blog with some of the more recent posts. I'm just glad that I found a fellow Christian who came across the board and thinks the same way about the things I saw.

Thanks,
Matt Cline

Anonymous said...

This is why i am not religious...Have you any of you re read what you have posted? I am pretty sure a nursery class would have responded with more adult like responses... Giddy for War? i would like to take some of these individuals who are "downright giddy" and throw them in a combat zone to watch the suffering of innocents, i assure you that no one would be giddy anymore...

Carol said...

As a Christian I say wholeheartedly
"Bring it On" I am so praying I get to go in the Rapture

Anonymous said...

All you motherf***ers need your head checked. Christianity is NOT a religion to start off with any more than English is a real language.

English is a mixture of languages and Christianity is a mixture of pagan religions the core of which was "developed" by Paul - who didn’t get on with Jesus.

Jesus never wrote a word nor instructed anyone else to do so. The first "Bible" was Greek and was translated poorly into Latin and then old English. It's been changing ever since.

So all you "Rapture," retards have left your jobs and sold your ass for nothing. It's no wonder people laugh at you and you mow them down in humiliated anger......

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