Declare Supreme Court Justices Enemy Combatants

In a victory for terrorists and their liberal sympathizers, five members of the United States Supreme Court have ruled in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld that enemy combatants detained at Guantanamo deserve trials just like American citizens. I don't know how anyone can argue that this does not "aid and abet" our enemies, which is the very definition of treason. Some people are arguing that President Bush should simply ignore the decision and tell the Supreme Court as Andrew Jackson once did that now that they have made their decision they should try to enforce it. Others are suggesting Congress pass a law negating the Court's decision. No doubt, the Bush Administration is already at work thinking up other ways to get around the decision. But I think the best plan would be to declare these five Supreme Court justices themselves enemy combatants.

Although I have not actually read the entire Constitution, I believe that in the Article that gives the President the power to designate enemy combatants there is nothing that explicitly protects members of the Supreme Court from being declared enemy combatants. Because we are in a state of indefinite war, under the law the President is free to declare anyone he wants an enemy combatant, even an American citizen. I don't think members Supreme Court can argue that they are above the law and that an exception should be made in their case.

Undoubtedly, these terrorist-sympathizing Justices will go to court in an attempt to fight being designated enemy combatants. But if the case makes its way up the Supreme Court, they will be forced to recuse themselves, allowing for the other four justices to uphold the ruling. Then these justices can be taken to Guantanamo or an undisclosed location and held until hostilities have ended; that is, when terrorism has been completely eliminated from the face of the Earth.

One fringe benefit of this plan is that once these Justices are no longer able to sit on cases, the Bush Administration can finally enact some of its agenda without having to worry about the Supreme Court acting as a roadblock. We will finally be able to reverse Roe v. Wade, Lawrence v. Texas, the Miranda decision, Brown v. The Board of Education and other mistaken rulings.

This plan would also free the Bush Administration to declare other terrorist sympathizers enemy combatants, which would make fighting the War on Terror a lot easier. A number of editors and journalists at the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post could be designated enemy combatants and carted off to undisclosed locations where they would be held incommunicado. The Washington Post's Dana Priest might get a chance to see if those secret prisons she reported on really exist. Several members of Congress such as Jack Murtha, John Kerry and Russ Feingold could also be designated enemy combatants. (I don't think we have to worry too much about Arlen Specter, who will no doubt get the message once a few members of Congress disappear.) We might also want to designate a few members of the leadership ACLU enemy combatants so that they won't cause too much trouble. There are probably a lot more terrorist sympathizers who should be designated enemy combatants, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Bush Administration has already begun making a list. So anyone that might be thinking of protesting the Bush Administration's activities a little too vociferously in the future should know that there is probably still plenty of room on that list.

Jon Swift, Supreme Court, War on Terror, Hamdan, Terrorism, Bush, Guantanamo, Enemy Combatants, Constitution, ACLU, Washington Post, New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Jack Murtha, John Kerry, Russ Feingold, Arlen Specter, Politics, Comedian Jenée: People are Idiots OTA #15, Carnival of Trackbacks LXXV, Samantha Burns OTA, Uncooperative Blogger Weekend Open Trackback Party