George Allen Only Pretending To Be Stupid

Probably the main reason President Bush won two elections, according to political pundits, was that he met what they decided was the most important criterion to voters in choosing a President; that is, that he be someone you would like to have a beer with (although the President would probably order a Dr. Pepper since he doesn't drink). Of all the prospective candidates for the 2008 presidential election, Virginia Senator George Allen is probably the best beer-drinking buddy in the race, which is why many pundits see him as one of the frontrunners. In fact, he's the kind of guy you would probably want to have five or six beers with.

But as Mel Gibson can tell you, sometimes after having five or six beers we say things that require elaborate and convoluted explanations to prove that what we said didn't really mean what it sounded like it meant. That George Allen is able to accomplish this without actually having drunk five or six beers proves that he is definitely the man to beat in 2008.

While campaigning for the Senate in southwest Virginia, Allen spoke eloquently of his desire to run a campaign based on "positive, constructive ideas" and as an example of his sunny outlook, he good-naturedly pointed out an operative from the campaign of his opponent Jim Webb who was videotaping the appearance. "This fellow here, over here with the yellow shirt, Macaca, or whatever his name is. He's with my opponent. He's following us around everywhere. And it's just great," he said, warmly welcoming the young man, S.R. Sidarth, who is of Indian extraction but was born in Fairfax County, which is considered by some to be a part of Virginia. "Let's give a welcome to Macaca, here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia," he continued.

Unfortunately, some people have taken Sen. Allen's friendly, welcoming words as some sort of racial slur. First of all, one of the qualities Allen shares with President Bush is his delight in making up obscure, endearing nicknames for people, which is not only charming but has the added advantage of saving them from having to pronounce complicated or foreign-sounding names. In addition, as others have pointed out, it would be stupid for Allen to actually make a racial slur directed at someone who is videotaping you. This sort of thing is much better said into a microphone you didn't know was on.

Even though Sen. Allen denies he was making a racist remark or even singling out Sidarth for his foreignness in a place where he was the only non-white person, he nevertheless apologized for saying it immediately after video of these remarks surfaced on the Internet. "I would never want to demean him as an individual," Allen said. "I do apologize if he's offended by that." By adding the words "if he's offended by that," Allen cleverly put the onus on Sidarth to prove he is not one of those tiresomely sensitive minorities who gets offended by everything.

What was perhaps most interesting about Allen's remarks, and what gives us the greatest insight into his intellect, is that Allen claims that he has no idea what "macaca" means. At first Allen suggested that the name might have derived from a nickname his staff gave Sidarth, "Mohawk," although Sidarth, in fact, has a mullet, not a Mohawk. If, indeed, that is true, it just demonstrates that Allen's campaign is run by real men who don't know the first thing about hairstyles. Others have pointed out that, however, that the word "macaca," which is another word for macaque, a kind of monkey, is used as a racial slur in Tunisia, which is where Allen's mother is from. Some of Allen's defenders indignantly pointed out that to claim he heard this word from his mother is to claim his mother is a racist and of course there is nothing more egregious in a political campaign than to insult a candidate's mother, who I am sure is a fine woman who wears a respectable Republican cloth coat.

Sadly, this incident is just going to revive suspicions that Allen is not as sensitive about racial issues as he should be, which were first raised in a New Republic article that pointed out that Allen has long had an obsession with the Confederacy, displaying Confederate flags "on himself, his car, inside his home--or expressed his enthusiastic approval of the emblem from approximately 1967 to 2000." And while some conservatives are defending Allen as best they can, many are backing away from him. Rich Lowry wrote on The Corner that it shows Allen has a "mean streak." Writing on Reason's blog Hit and Run, Jeff A. Taylor claims that this incident demonstrates Allen's "utter stupidity" and reveals that he "does not have the wattage to man a deep fryer support line in Bangalore, let alone serve responsibly in the U.S. Senate."

But while some claim that this incident demonstrates that Allen is, to put it kindly, intellectually challenged, Jerry Fuhrman of the Virginia blog From On High proves that it actually shows how smart Allen really is. Fuhrman claims that according to an English-Hindi dictionary he happened to have handy, "macaca" is a Hindi word for "one who goes around with chip on shoulder and foot in mouth." So, in fact, Allen was making a very clever joke in Hindi and perhaps the reason for his admittedly lame explanations is that he is just too humble about his intellectual prowess. And it must be said that in a state like Virginia, where one town recently voted out council members who were perceived as being too cozy with illegal immigrants, bilingualism might be seen as a liability. Most people also prefer that their drinking buddies not be too much smarter than they are so Allen probably prefers to keep his highly sophisticated intellect on the down low. Contrary to Ed Morrissey's claim on Captain's Quarters that Allen "can probably stick a fork in his hopes for the time being" of being President, I think this incident may actually enhance his chances. I mean, who wouldn't want a President who is only pretending to be stupid?

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