Facebook Declares War on the Blogosphere

Just as in earlier times a man was only as good as his family name, today we are defined by the social networks we belong to. So imagine my horror when I learned that I have become a virtual bastard. Earlier this week I logged into Facebook and discovered that without warning my account had been deleted. According to Facebook, I am a fake, a charlatan, a nonperson and all of my more than 200 Facebook friends are the victims of a cruel hoax. My crime? Violating Facebook's Terms of Service by not using my "real name." What's next? Will Second Life require people's avatars to be a perfect likeness?

Perhaps it was all just a terrible misunderstanding, I thought. I immediately wrote to Facebook to ask them to correct the error and received this chilly response from "Aubrey from Facebook":

Hi,

Fake accounts are a violation of our Terms of Use.
Facebook requires users to provide their real first and last
names. Impersonating anyone or anything is prohibited.
Unfortunately, we will not be able to reactivate this account
for any reason. This decision is final.

Thanks for your understanding,

Aubrey
Customer Support Representative
Facebook

Apparently "Aubrey from Facebook" thinks I should use my first and last name but she doesn't feel compelled to do the same. Does Facebook exist in an irony-free zone? I am also curious to know how "Aubrey from Facebook" (if that is her real name) determined that Jon Swift is not my real name. No one from Facebook ever contacted me to ask me whether that is or is not my real name. I was not asked to supply a birth certificate or a driver's license or a DNA sample or given any chance to prove who I was. In fact, I was never contacted at all.

Now, I will admit that "Jon Swift" is a name I took as a tribute to the brave Swift Boat Veterans (and which I was forced to adopt because of some misunderstandings with creditors), but does that make my name any less real than the name "Aubrey from Facebook"? What exactly does "real name" mean? Would Bob Dylan be banned if he didn't sign up as Robert Zimmerman? Would someone searching for their friend Carlos the Jackal have to know that his "real name" is Ilich Ramírez Sánchez? Would Malcolm X have had to sign up under his slave name if he were still alive? Would Eric Arthur Blair have been banned from joining Facebook under the name George Orwell if he weren't dead, too. Or is Orwell actually alive and well and running Facebook?

And who exactly am I supposed to be impersonating? Has it ever occurred to you, "Aubrey from Facebook," that whoever I am supposed to be impersonating could actually be impersonating me? In fact, a search for the name "Jon Swift" reveals 99 profiles, many of which seem no more "real" than mine. Why out of all those Jon Swifts was I singled out? And, by the way, searching for for film director "Alan Smithee" yields 85 profiles and "Jesus Christ" turns up more than 500. At least I can be assured that all of those have been vetted by Facebook's crack investigators and are certified as being "real."

Certainly, I am not the only user of Facebook to use a pseudonym. Are the people who run Facebook familiar at all with the Internet? How many people actually do use their real names on the Internet and are these people able to get real jobs after the human resources department Googles them? And haven't we all been told about the dangers of putting all of our real information on the Internet? Maybe I should just create a new profile under the name "Identity Thief." I wonder how many people who use their real names on Facebook would friend me. Ironically, killing off profiles that didn't use "real names" is what helped Facebook displace Friendster as the social network of choice in the first place. Nothing like following in your old rival's footsteps.

I am not the only person who has suffered the ignominy of having his account deleted without warning for using a pseudonym. One person was banned for putting the wrong birthdate. Does Facebook actually expect people in this day and age not to lie about their age? I've been lying about my age ever since I turned 21 a couple years ago. How old are you "Aubrey from Facebook"? Really? You seem a lot older. If Facebook is planning to ban everyone who does not use the name or birthdate listed on their birth certificates, "Aubrey from Facebook" is going to have a lot of work ahead of her or Facebook is going to have to hire new people. In that case, let me offer a word of advice: Google the applicants before you hire them or at least look them up on Facebook. You might be surprised by what you learn.

Many bloggers use pseudonyms, an American tradition in political discourse that goes all the way back to our Founding Fathers. Are all bloggers who use pseudonyms "fake" in the eyes of Facebook? Hath not a blogger eyes? Hath not a blogger hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer? If you poke us, do we not bleed?

By banning bloggers who use pseudonyms Facebook has declared war on the blogosphere. More and more bloggers have been using Facebook as a social networking tool, but how useful will it be if so many bloggers will be left out. I know a number of prominent pseudonymous bloggers who still have profiles on Facebook but apparently their days as Facebook members are numbered. I'm not going to rat them out to Facebook's jack-booted thugs, however, even if they threaten to torture me.

Some of these prominent bloggers used to be among my more than 200 Facebook friends. I wonder if my Facebook friends have noticed yet that I am gone. I wonder how many of them have sent their zombies to bite me only to have them return unsated. Oh, how I miss being poked and being invited to join silly groups and causes and to install buggy widgets on my profile page that I then have to immediately uninstall. Maybe one of my Facebook friends will start a "Let Jon Swift Back into Facebook" group. I would join it if I could.

Update: Well, that was fast. Piersy has already created a group on Facebook called "Let Jon Swift Back into Facebook." You can join it here if you have a Facebook account. I must say, I am very touched. Thank you very much, Piersy (if that is your "real name"). Sadly, I cannot join the group or even see it.

Update 2: Support is pouring in from the blogosphere from such heavy hitters Robert Scoble, Dennis Howlett, Stan Schroeder, and Rob Hyndman. Steve Rubel has Twittered me (which is legal in most states now). Monkey has created another Facebook group called "Who Is Aubrey from Facebook?" And the pain of being booted from Facebook has been eased a little by the news that this modest blog has been nominated for a 2007 Weblog Award for Funniest Blog.

Update 3: Victory!!!!!!! My Facebook account has been restored.

At 11:25 A.M. EDT I received the following email from "Jerry from Facebook":

Hi Jon,
Upon further review, we have decided to reactivate your account. Our Terms of Use, to which all users agree when they first sign up for the site, stipulate that you must not "impersonate any person or entity, or falsely state or otherwise misrepresent yourself, your age or your affiliation with any person or entity." However, since others on the site seem to know you by this name, and since you don't appear to be using the name to impersonate or to hide your identity, we have determined that you are not violating these Terms. We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused. Please let me know if you have further questions or concerns.
Thanks for your understanding,
Jerry
Customer Support Representative
Facebook

Thanks to everyone who supported me and even to those who disagreed with me but made some worthy contributions to the discussion. And special thanks to Piersy for starting the "Let Jon Swift Back into Facebook" group and to everyone who joined. Pat yourselves on the back for me. And finally kudos the folks at Facebook, who had the courage to reverse themselves. Thanks for your understanding.

For more on what this battle means, see my piece "Pseudonym-Americans Fight Back."



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