Will Mitt Romney Take Battlefield Earth to the White House?

Presidential candidates often get asked trick questions designed to give us greater insight into their personalities. But when Republican presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney revealed that his favorite novel was Battlefield Earth, written by Church of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, many were puzzled. Few understood why he would pick this science-fiction pulp novel over a more respectable American classic. It seems unlikely that his campaign had not anticipated this question and that he had actually answered spontaneously. Clearly, he was sending supporters a coded message. But what was it? Was his answer a calculated bid for lucrative Scientology funding? Was he trying to appeal to conservative bloggers who are overwhelmingly made up of single white male science-fiction fans who live in their parents basements? Was he signaling a break with President Bush, who prefers slim intellectual volumes like Albert Camus' The Stranger, by citing a 1,000-page low-brow bestseller?

"I have no problem with Governor Romney's religion," said Hugh Hewitt who has written a laudatory book about Romney called A Mormon in the White House? "I do have a serious problem with his "favorite novel" -- L. Ron Hubbard's Battleship Earth. Say it ain't so, Mitt." David Weigel speculated that Romney was sending this coded message by citing a tome written by the founder of Scientology: "So, you think Mormonism is weird?" One blogger even decided that he could not vote for Romney based on his answer and Ann Althouse found the book "childish," though she hasn't read it. Others just pointed out that it is a bad book. Virtually no one defended his choice.

I have not actually read Battlefield Earth, but I did manage to stay awake through part of the movie, which starred John Travolta, and I have skimmed a summary of the plot. From what I was able to learn about the book, however, it's easy to why it might appeal to someone like Romney and the insights I have gained from this choice reassures me that he would make a great President. Romney is the first serious Mormon candidate for President, unless you count his father, George, who bowed out of a presidential run after saying that he had been brainwashed about the Vietnam War. Mormons believe that God lives on a planet near a star called Kolob, which might explain why Romney takes science fiction seriously. In fact, the creator of the original Battlestar Galactica based some of that sci-fi series on Mormon theology, calling the home planet in the series Kobol.

L. Ron Hubbard's novel is about a alien race called the Psychlos who have come to Earth searching for gold and have some trouble with the violent natives, which sounds a lot like the story of our pioneers in the American West. Among those pioneers were Mormons who fled persecution to set up their own government in Utah, which they ruthlessly defended by fighting Indians and other pioneers. One unfortunate wagon train from Arkansas learned just how far the Mormons would go to defend their territory when they made the mistake of trying to cross through Utah on the way to California. Under orders of Brigham Young, Mormons slaughtered 120 settlers at the 1857 Mountain Meadows Massacre, sparing 17 children under the age of 10, who were then raised as Mormons. Like the Psychlos, the Mormons were prepared to do whatever was necessary to protect their new settlement.

I'm sure that Romney must have had great sympathy for these misunderstood aliens who were trying to fit in to their new homeworld while at the same time defending their values by any means necessary. It's not easy being accepted when you're a furry nine-foot-tall, 1,000-pound alien with talons instead of fingernails. Being the governor of a blue state, Romney must have felt a bit like an alien himself. On the one hand, he couldn't get elected by opposing gay rights or abortion and on the other hand he risked being excommunicated if he seemed too liberal. More than most religions, the LDS church does not tolerate dissent and often excommunicates members who intellectually stray from Mormon doctrine. So the only way he could get elected was by appearing to be pro-choice and pro-gay. Now that he is seeking the Republican nomination he not only has to prove that he is anti-abortion and anti-gay but also that he loves guns and is a life-long hunter.

One of the points a recent PBS documentary made about Mormonism, also known the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, was that there has always been a tension in Mormon history between the desire to assimilate into American culture and at the same time remain distinct. Mormons have reluctantly conformed to American culture by giving up polygamy and child brides in 1890 so that Utah could become a state and in 1978 reversing their belief that black people were the spawn of Satan and could not get into heaven, which I'm sure many black people really appreciated. If Romney were to be elected President it would go a long way toward legitimizing the LDS Church and making its members feel that they were no longer alienated from American society.

Unfortunately, Battlefield Earth does not end with a Psychlo being elected President. In fact, the Earthlings never make them feel welcome at all. Instead, they become terrorists. Here the parallels between the book and our current situation are uncanny. The Psychlos want to fight the terrorists on Earth so that they don't have to fight them at home. And they are not above using enhanced interrogation techniques to stop them. The terrorists, however, plan to send radioactive dirty bombs to the Psychlos' home world. Can the Psychlos defeat the terrorists on Earth before they follow the Psychlos home? Or will traitorous Psychlos give up and declare the war is lost like Harry Reid, who also happens to be a Mormon, though for some reason he has not been excommunicated yet. I'm afraid I couldn't tell you what happens at the very end of Battlefield Earth because I couldn't make it through the movie or the summary.

Of course, Battlefield Earth is just a "fun book," as Romney called it, so I don't want to make too much of it. But I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't get a few pointers from the Psychlos about how to run America if he is elected President. Like a lot of members of the Christian Right, I was a bit nervous about Romney, afraid that he might want to take the oath of office on the Book of Mormon or that he might try to pass a law forcing everyone to wear magic underwear, but now that he has revealed Battlefield Earth is his favorite novel (and that the Bible and not the Book of Mormon is his favorite book) I'm reassured that he is just the kind of man we need to fight the terrorists. Isn't it great that we are finally learning something important about the candidates?

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