Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Give Scooter Libby a New Job

Conservatives have not been very happy with President Bush lately because of his support for immigration reform and his apparent disregard for the fate of Scooter Libby. Although his commutation of Libby's sentence should reassure the President's base, many conservatives believe that the President did not go far enough. I think the President needs to do more to win back the base and I have an idea that will do just that.

Many were shocked by the harsh sentence that Judge Reggie Walton gave Libby. To give him a sentence that was within the sentencing guidelines was to treat him like a crack dealer or some other common criminal. It sent a terrible message to those who criticize the administration that no one can do anything to stop them without risking jail time. In his statement commuting the sentence President Bush called the sentence "excessive." But oddly the President did not pardon Libby and he did not absolve him of having to pay a hefty $250,000 fine.

Ed Morrissey, who was not very happy with President's immigration bill and wanted Congress "to find a solution that respects the rule of law," compared the President to Solomon. "In opting for commutation, Bush has attempted a Solomonic decision to split the baby," Morrissey wrote. "Unfortunately, like Solomon, Bush will probably find neither side satisfied." Although I agree with Morrissey that Bush is as wise as Solomon, I'm not sure he is interpreting the biblical story correctly. As I recall one of two women who claimed the baby was perfectly happy to settle for half a baby and it was only the real mother that objected. To tell you the truth I never understood why the other woman thought having half a baby was a pretty good deal, but I guess times were different back then. Morrissey thinks that half a baby is all the President could give Libby for now.

Ace of Spades, who in post after post rallied his readers to jam the phone lines of their congressmen to protest the "amnesty bill" for illegal immigrants, was glad that the President ended what he called a "silly fantasia." However, he thinks that the $250,000 fine should have been lowered to something more reasonable. Undeclared presidential candidate Fred Thompson said he was "happy" for Libby though he had "urged for a pardon." Thompson, who was on Libby's defense fund, had also split with the President on immigration, saying that illegal immigrants from Cuba are potential terrorists. Glenn Reynolds, who thought the immigration bill sent a message to legal immigrants that "laws are for suckers" predicted that Bush would rise in the polls as some conservatives rallied to his side for commuting Libby's sentence. Michelle Malkin who has excoriated the President over what she called "shamnesty" for illegal immigrants has been largely silent on the Libby case.

If Bush wants to win back the Republican base, there is something he could do that would win them over on both the immigration issue and on justice for Scooter Libby. He could appoint Libby as the new Immigration Czar and give him sweeping new powers to ruthlessly enforce the rule of law. Working with Federal and local law enforcement, Libby's new agency could round up illegal immigrants that break our laws just by being here. At the same time his recent experience with the legal system would give him the compassion and discretion necessary to deal leniently with the small businessmen and homeowners who just needed workers for their restaurants and factories and day laborers to tend their gardens and lawns. And the annual salary for this new job should be $250,000, which would take care of Libby's fine. With this bold move, the President would be killing two halves of the baby with one stone, something even Solomon couldn't manage. It would send a powerful message that the President does not condone law-breaking unless it is absolutely necessary for national security. That's a clear message that I think conservatives could rally around.

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Anonymous said...

> With this bold move, the President
> would be killing two halves of the
> baby with one stone, something even
> Solomon couldn't manage.

Once again Jon, you are my favourite poster on t'internet.

cognitorex said...

Libby Pardon: Fly Disgraced Red White and Blue at Half Mast this 4th

Dick Cheney and George Bush are a disgrace to our country. They are skillful liars as are all psychopaths. In fact lack of concern for community or democratic values as in putting oneself above the law combined with habitual lying defines psychopathy. It defines Cheney and Bush.

I personally don’t think Scooter is a psychopath on the order of Cheney and Bush. I believe he lived in an environment where lying and duplicity were practiced daily on the most egregious levels. Living in this environment day in and day out, he had little practical knowledge or experience that there could or might be even one possible iota of repercussion for bold faced lying. Lacking the snakelike skills of a Cheney or Bush he blew it.

That Scooter, the person, should not have to spend years in prison strikes a sympathetic chord with me.

That Scooter, the representative of an administration that adheres to no moral system in the pursuit of power and economic gain, should avoid justice makes me vomit.

I think we should fly all American flags at half staff this 4th and until these mendacious psychopaths are escorted out of the White House, one way or the other.

Better yet perhaps, would be to visit or demonstrate in D.C. and simply leave flags at the White House gates and the Supreme Court building. This, turning in of the flags, will represent that the Red, White and Blue is used only for propaganda by Bush, Cheney and the neocon party and it no longer represents American values.
It has been disgraced
-craig johnson-

Unknown said...

Why can't I remember the reporter who, in fact, did go to jail, because she refused to name names? That's what happens to ex-cons, I guess.
Is Libby really qualified to be our Immigration Czar?
Guessing just from how much Bush seems to like the man, I have to wonder if he's severe enough. He seems much too nice to scream, "Off with their heads!" and swing the scimitar with abandon. That's what Czars do.

James Higham said...

Fine man, Scooter Libby. Pity he can't run for Prez. Wolfie has far more of the crim to him.

Otto Man said...

I don't know how to tell you this, but this post is highlighted on the Hardball homepage -- as an example of support for the president's decision.

I guess someone as clueless as Chris Matthews can't grasp satire.

Anonymous said...

There is a pattern to the pathetic practice.
What difference does it make anyway?

George Bush commuted "Scooter" Libby's sentence in 2007; Bill & Hill Clinton pardoned Marc Rick in 2000.

It doesn’t make any difference; the Bush and the Clinton political dynasties have always taken Americans for a ride by ensuring that their friends, donors, and relatives get away with crimes. Whether it's obstruction of justice by Scooter Libby or tax evasion by Marc Rich.

Some Hill & Bill Clinton’s 2000 pardon include the following:
• Marc Rich, a fugitive, was pardoned of tax evasion. Denise Rich, Marc's former wife, was a close friend of the Clintons and had made substantial donations to both Clinton's library and Hillary's Senate campaign. According to Paul Volcker's independent investigation of Iraqi Oil-for-Food kickback schemes, Marc Rich was a middleman for several suspect Iraqi oil deals involving over 4 million barrels of oil.
• Carlos A. Vignali had his sentence for cocaine trafficking commuted, after serving 6 of 15 years in federal prison.
• Almon Glenn Braswell was pardoned of his mail fraud and perjury convictions, even while a federal investigation was underway regarding additional money laundering and tax evasion charges. Braswell and Carlos Vignali each paid approximately $200,000 to Hillary Clinton's brother, Hugh Rodham, to represent their respective cases for clemency. Hugh Rodham returned the payments after they were disclosed to the public. Braswell would later invoke the Fifth Amendment at a Senate Committee hearing in 2001, when questioned about allegations of his having systematically defrauded senior citizens of millions of dollars.
• Susan McDougal, who had already completed her sentence, was pardoned for her role in the Whitewater scandal; McDougal had served 18 months on contempt charges for refusing to testify about Clinton's role.
• Dan Rostenkowski, a former Democratic Congressman convicted in the Congressional Post Office Scandal. Rostenkowski had served his entire sentence.
• Melvin J. Reynolds, a Democratic Congressman from Illinois, who was convicted of bank fraud, 12 counts of sexual assault, obstruction of justice, and solicitation of child pornography had his sentence commuted on the bank fraud charged and was allowed to serve the final months under the auspices of a half way house. He had served his entire sentence on child sex abuse charges before the commutation of the later convictions.
• Roger Clinton, the president's half-brother, on drug charges after having served the entire sentence more than a decade before. Roger Clinton would be charged with drunk driving and disorderly conduct in an unrelated incident within a year of the pardon. He was also briefly alleged to have been utilized in lobbying for the Braswell pardon, among others.

Winghunter said...

An amazing amount of drool, really.

If you're cognizant enough to step out of denial and into the facts surrounding Libby's prosecution;

Sentencing of Scooter Libby

If you're not;

Regurgitating The Apple: How Modern Liberals "Think"

Unknown said...

Some folks just don't get satire do they?

Anonymous said...


It's crazy times we live in, I tell ya!

Doodle Bean said...

Dear Mr. Swift,

What an excellent idea! And perhaps Scooter can hold back some of the more... er... vixenish of the illegals with which to amuse a bear!

Dear Ms. Maher,

You may be thinking of Judith Miller, former New York Times reporter.

And Mr. Igwealor,

It's worse than that!!! Bill Clinton had oral sex in the Oval Office!!! Horror!!!!!

You may wish to check out Dubya's other pardons to see a rogue's gallery indeed.

Oh, and here's a fun fact: Scooter Libby was Marc Rich's lawyer.


Doodle Bean

Dave Latchaw said...

Dude. You are 100% wrong. Bush should just pardon the little dude and give him back his old job.

It would be just like it never happened. That would rock!

Connecticut Man1 said...

You , Sir, are much too wise to be a run of the mill conservative. No longer shall you be known simply as a reasonable conservative. We shall dub thee Neo, and you shall lead your people out of the abyss.

All hail Neo conservative, leader of lost causes!

splord said...

How many times do I have to say it? You are brilliant!!!

Oh, how I wish I could write with such scathing wit! Alas, my degenerate liberal lifestyle has eroded my talent to the point I can only meander around greatness and never achieve it.

Anonymous said...

Yet another brilliant piece, Mr. Swift. Happy fourth.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone ever clicked on a link left by a mouth breathing troll like the one a few posts up? No? Didn't think so. Keep up the good work. Happy Fourth!

Bukko Boomeranger said...

Otto -- you da man! Thanks for providing further evidence of how jaw-droppingly clueless Chris Matthews is. I wouldna believed it if I hadna seen it. I mean, it's one thing for average readers to not get the subtle Swiftian brilliance, but for someone who's in charge of a news site... Or at least one of the stupid minions who works for him.

That said, I must expand upon Mr. Swift's suggestion and recommend that Solomonooter Libby be given a job CUTTING IMMIGRANT BABIES IN HALF! Right before people eat them, of course. Eating babies -- it's the answer to the world's problems.

James Higham said...

Satire can be a lineball thing.

Julio said...

Once again you conservatives show your true fangs. Giving Scooter a job for $250,000, so he can just pay the fine, and have nothing left over? What's he supposed to eat, ketchup?

You right-wing conservatives have no heart.

Jaesoreal said...

Maybe Bush will just give him $250,000 for pain and suffering. That would be incredible


> Dear Dan,
> I am on my way to the USA for some of meetings. Please send your question and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

FUTURE, say year 2500 or so...? see my blog here



Anonymous said...

I am like TOTALLLY a FAN of those polar cities, dude! We can all have a house at both poles! And we can live in each during the time when the sun is shining like all day, and party on all the time. Like, we'd never have to sleep unless we were passed out!

Except there's no land at the North Pole to build a city on. And it wouldn't happen until, like, the Year 2525, and I'm probably gonna be dead by then. Mega-bummer. Makes me want to live in the polar cities during the time when it's dark for 6 months, like the FutureGoths will...

Anonymous said...

I think Scooter Libby would make a smokin' weatherman. He could forecast the aspens turning when he wasn't even in the same State. Maybe Bush could make him Secretary Of Climate or something.

Anonymous said...


It´s pardon time again: that den of thieves
Will pass around like candy its reprieves,

Libby, Libby,
Told a fibby,
But no jail cell must be his cribbie!

Was ever there so much baldfaced wrongdoing
In one place concentrated? I´m P.U.ing!

Libby, Libby,
Told a fibby,
But no jail cell must be his cribbie!

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