Monday, May 01, 2006

A Tip for an Illegal Immigrant

The Recliner Commentaries has a very good suggestion for those who oppose the boycott by immigrants today and want to make their feelings known. "Today is the nationwide work boycott by Hispanics," he writes. "Some people think this is unpatriotic. Someone on TV yesterday even called it 'economic blackmail.' If you agree, don't sit idly by, do something! Today, if you are served in a hotel or restaurant by someone who is Hispanic, take action--give them an extra large tip for coming to work and helping you." I thought this was a very good idea and I not only left a bigger tip for the busboy who served me on this "Day Without Immigrants," I also left a little note on my cocktail napkin. Here is the text of my note:

Dear Señor Illegal Immigrant:
I just wanted to explain to you why I left an extra buck for you today. I don't know if you will understand this letter since it is in English but I don't think it is too much to expect that you know how to speak English in my country just as I would expect you to speak English if I was in your country. The reason I am writing this note is in appreciation for your coming to work today in defiance of the boycott and bringing me all those drinks, especially the free replacement for the third drink I spilled. I wasn't really drunk, just a little clumsy in case you got the wrong impression. I just want you to know that although I think you should be deported it's nothing personal. It's the law breaking I hate, not the lawbreaker. I think it's unfair to all the other legal immigrant busboys who filled out all the paperwork and patiently put themselves on waiting lists until a spot in the busboy immigration quota opened up. I do appreciate all of your hard work and I know you probably send most of the money you make back home to your family. I think, however, it would be best for all concerned if you were reunited with your family as soon as possible. But please don't send the extra dollar I gave to you back home. Save it and buy yourself something nice. You deserve it.
Your Amigo,
Jon Swift

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benmerc said...

You are much to lenient, that extra buck should represent spoken English on every continent…si!

Anonymous said...

Yes being on an island would certainly help. A lot bigger barrier that the American have on their borders.

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Unknown said...

Thank you very much

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