Saturday, September 15, 2007 and Other Traitors Are Welcome To Advertise Here

I hate to criticize my fellow conservatives but I was very surprised by the furor over the ad that bought in the New York Times. Although I disagreed with the content of the ad, which attacked the commander of U.S. forces in Iraq General David Petraeus and featured the offensive tagline "General Petraeus or General Betray Us?," I don't understand why conservatives attacked the Times for accepting it. Aren't we conservatives supposed to be in favor of making buck, even if it means we have to compromise a few principles here and there? And don't we believe that money is free speech and that the more money you spend, the more free speech you deserve?

Some conservatives not only criticized the Times for running the ad but also attacked the newspaper for giving MoveOn a hefty discount, charging only $65,000 instead of its usual rate of $181,692 (a rate they subsequently offered to Rudy Giuliani as well). Confederate Yankee, who has made it his mission to cast suspicion on liberal media outlets even before he has gathered all the facts, which would require a lot of tedious reporting, denounced what he called a "rather sweet deal." One milblogger, Uncle Jimbo at Black Five even went so far as to snitch on the Times by filing a complaint with the Federal Election Commission. This seems especially ironic in light of the fact that Uncle Jimbo once said that he won't support the John McCain for President because of "one monumental mistake, the McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Reform Act," which he called "the most damaging act of free speech violation and Constitution-gutting I am aware of." Now suddenly, Uncle Jimbo is running to the FEC himself to suppress free speech that has been bought and paid for with American dollars that our soldiers are giving their lives in Iraq to defend from precipitous currency devaluations. What's more, he is currently running an ad on his own site paid for by the campaign of the very man responsible for gutting our Constitution--John McCain! It seems to me that it is just a tad hypocritical to say of the New York Times "I hope they burn" for accepting MoveOn's ad and then to turn around and accept John McCain's filthy lucre. If this represents the courage of Uncle Jimbo's convictions, I must say I am very disappointed.

Unlike Uncle Jimbo, however, I have no problem with the New York Times or anyone else taking large amounts of money from people advertising messages I disagree with no matter how repugnant I think those messages are. That is why I have decided to break with some of my fellow conservatives and demonstrate my solidarity with the New York Times' capitalist agenda by offering my own discount to anyone who wants to run an ad on my blog. For a limited time only, I am offering premium ad space on my blog for a special discount of just $65,000 to anyone regardless of their political affiliation. And I mean anyone. I'll accept ads from or some other traitorous liberal organization. I'll even accept one of those gay ads that always depict shirtless men with perfect bodies, which apparently are designed to entice young men into homosexuality by making them believe that there is no such thing as old, fat gay men. I don't care who you are or how reprehensible your message is, as long as you have $65,000, I'll run your ad, and not just for one day like the New York Times, but for three whole months. Just go to this BlogAds link. And as a special added incentive, I promise to do everything I can to drum up a blogstorm of righteous outrage in the conservative blogosphere about your ad, which will just bring even more attention to it and help spread your message far and wide. I may even write a post denouncing it myself. That's the kind of publicity that money, even $65,000, can't buy.

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Unknown said...

Oh that I could, Jon! You know I would. But I'd do my best not to offend anyone. Is that possible? Are there any conservatives so old-school that they might suppose I don't need to take sides because I'm a woman and as a group we haven't even been voting a century yet?
I guess that's a stretch. And then, too, my fantasy ad would be an ad for ME. Not vote for me, not give me money, just recognize ME. I'm one of the multitude of those not-famous for not-being-famous.

Unknown said...

PS I occurred to me I might try to negotiate a nefarious bargain from you. But that wouldn't be fair: you're offering a public service at a very reasonable rate. Then, too, were you to show any favoritism to us unknowns, it wouldn't help. We just got laid off.

Anonymous said... is just another example of knee-jerk liberalism, which is unable to comprehend that a decent surge takes years for its effects to be felt, while anarchy would break out instantly, INSTANTLY, the moment American troops left. A surge is like making out to a Barry White song, building slowly but surely toward a result, while leaving early would.....would....where was I going with that?

Anonymous said...

I would please to like ad buying. My late Uncle who is dying asked I to post a cashier check in the sum of $65,000,000.00 into your PayPal account. But the transfer cost of $50,000,000.00 American dollars must be paid by your mama, please and thank you.

This is the real deal.

I'm John McCain and I approve this message.

PS: my uncle digs your research work on hypocritical Jumbo very much yes.

Anonymous said...

Excellent, as always: stumbled AND dugg (digged)?

Bukko Boomeranger said...

But NO lie-beral group would advertise on your blog, since it's only read by conservatives...

Red said...

Your blog is so good it isn't even a blog.

Chuck Butcher said...

If only you'd made this offer in early 06 when I was actually running for office. I suppose it would be too .........

Grace Nearing said...

Silly Full-page ads in the NYT are worthless, despite the price.

The well-established protocol is to "research and write" a "book" that is "funded" by uber-wealthy "true-believers" and then "published" by fellow travelers who actually own a font chart and who call themselves "publishers," the "sales department" of which will then arrange for "bulk purchases" calculated with amazing mathematical precision to get "the book" listed on the NYT's Best Sellers List and thus to get "the authors" interviewed on all the morning shows, afternoon shows, early evening shows, and finally The Daily Show.

A one-off, one-page, black-and-white advocacy ad in the old newspaper of record is just a slap in the face of democracy.

mw said...

heh. I am reminded of that old joke. A little girl is selling lemonade. "How much?" asks a kindly grownup passing by. "One million dollars," she answers. "Well, you won't sell many of them," chuckles the grownup.
"I only need to sell one," responds the little girl.

heh. heh. Cause you are not really expecting anyone to pay $65,000 for an ad on your blog ... right? I mean ... um - "you only need to sell one" right? Because $65,000 is a lot of money and you don't think that anyone would actually...



In this special blog comment offer you can get an unbelievable one-time advertisement placed at the Divided We Stand United We Fall Blog for only $49,999.99!! Send no money now,- well - send half of it now, and pay no more for two whole weeks! For that low low price you can run your ad continuously for six months! Thats right! Twice the time offered by the parsimonious Jon Swift!


For this unbelievable price you will also get one year of naming rights for the blog. Imagine your pride clicking that bookmark and seeing the "YOUR NAME HERE - DWSUWF Blog."


If you act in the next two days, we'll throw in the whole f***ing blog! Thats right, it's all yours! The front page, the archives, the crappy blogger templates, the psycho commenters! They are all yours!


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