Thursday, November 08, 2007

Quit Doggin' Dog the Bounty Hunter

Can't a man use an offensive racial epithet in the privacy of his own home anymore without jeopardizing his lucrative reality television program? Duane "Dog" Chapman, star of A&E's Dog the Bounty Hunter has had his show suspended after he was taped saying the N-word repeatedly and he is devastated. Now reporters are hounding the poor bounty hunter, walking around his neighborhood, showing his picture to friends and neighbors, saying, "Have you seen this man? Do you know where we can find him? We just want to talk to him."

The irony of this whole thing is that anyone who knows Dog -- and who doesn't feel they know him from his well-edited television program -- knows that he isn't a racist. This whole misunderstanding started when he was actually trying to protect his son's black girlfriend from having to hear all the racial epithets he and the members of his crew and family say in a typical day. He was afraid they just wouldn't be able to stop themselves from using the N-word around her and she might take offense. We all know how touchy black people can be about these things, which is why Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck have been forced to stop socializing with all their black friends. So Dog told his son, Tucker, that he would either have to dump his girlfriend or quit the show. It was really for her own good, to spare her feelings.

"I don't care if she's a Mexican, a whore or whatever," Dog patiently explained to Tucker. "It's not because she's black, it's because we use the word n----r sometimes here. I'm not gonna take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for for 30 years because some fucking n----r heard us say n----r and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine. Our career is over! I'm not taking that chance at all! Never in life! Never! Never! If Lyssa [Dog's daughter] was dating a n----r, we would all say 'f--k you!' And you know that. If Lyssa brought a black guy home ya da da... it's not that they're black, it's none of that. It's that we use the word n----r. We don't mean you f--king scum n----r without a soul. We don't mean that s--t. But America would think we mean that. And we're not taking a chance on losing everything we got over a racial slur because our son goes with a girl like that. I can't do that Tucker. You can't expect Gary, Bonnie, Cecily, all them young kids to [garbled] because 'I'm in love for 7 months' - f--k that! So, I'll help you get another job but you can not work here unless you break up with her and she's out of your life. I got 'em in the parking lot trying to record us. I got that girl saying she's gonna wear a recorder."

"I don't even know what to say," Tucker replied.

It turned out that Dog was right to be worried about someone recording his words and people misconstruing them. Unbeknownst to him, Tucker taped their telephone conversation and sold it to the National Enquirer. If this incident shows anything, it shows what a good father Dog was in the way he instilled his values into his son. After all, Dog's work often depends on family members turning in their relatives.

Now America has the wrong idea about Dog even though it's hard to see how anyone could interpret his words as racist. As he explained to his son, when he uses the word n----r, he means it in the good way. In fact, Dog always thought of himself as practically an honorary black person: "There’s a special connection that I thought I had between me and black America," he explained. "And I used to say, 'I’m black, too.' In other words, I — my whole life I’ve been called a half-breed, a convict, king of the trailer trash, this and that. I take that and stand. So when I stood there and said, 'I kind of know what you feel like, because I’ve been there, too, I felt that I could embrace and like, as brothers or, even as a black woman, say the word."

And he didn't want his son to break up with his girlfriend just because she was black. If Tucker brought a Jew home, Dog would have been worried that his girlfriend would hear them making anti-Semitic remarks. Or if Tucker had a homosexual lover, think how difficult it would have been for the family not to let the word "faggot" slip out. Yet people insist on making it a racial thing.

It's hard not to feel sympathy for Dog, who still has a lot of fans. Even Whoopi Goldberg defended Dog on The View (she's not the one who thinks the world is flat, she's the other one), claiming that she uses racial slurs around her house all the time. Who doesn't? And Dog is really trying hard to make amends. Like Michael Richards, Mel Gibson and Don Imus, Dog has gone on CNN's Larry King and made a tearful apology. He went on Sean Hannity on Fox and cried there, too, saying "If I could kill myself and people would forgive me, I would do that," an offer some people are considering. He has asked to meet with the Rev. Al Sharpton. He has promised to seek counseling for anger management and to do something about his inability to stop saying the word n----r, which could take years of work. But that's not all. To show just how sorry he is Dog is making arrangements to spend eternity surrounded by black people. He wants to be buried at a slave burial ground near George Washington's home, Mount Vernon in Virginia. "I want to be buried right where they're at because I will never be forgiven as (long as) I'm alive," Chapman said. After he is dead, Dog should have no problem at all being around black people and not saying the word n----r. I think we all can be pretty sure of that.

Update: Now a Cat has had a remark he made "miscontrued" as racist, too. KT Cat was criticized when he wrote these words on his blog: "Blacks in America have become the perfect laboratory for the consequences of annihilating traditional sexual mores. At 70% illegitimacy, they have destroyed civilization at the molecular level. Still think it doesn't matter? Live it up, guys. Enjoy." Unfortunately, some people think that claiming blacks are destroying civilization is racist for some reason. But Cat was luckier than Dog. All he had to do was erase the statement from his post and all comments that referred to it and now it's like he never said it.

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WomanHonorThyself said...

good Lawd Jon..wheres the list o words that are a no no for whites but kewl for Blacks......can whites still be kewl?

Micgar said...

Yes just think if Tucker was dating a girl with special needs. It would then be hard for him to say "retard" or "cripple"
I can see why his classic super-grizzled forehead is now even more grizzled and wrinkled. Perhaps that same forehead flesh, filled with remorse, will flap over the sorrowful eyes of a Dog who has "made messes in his own house"

James Higham said...

Dog. Nice name. Tell me, is it still possible to say Yank and Limey any more?

Anonymous said...

This is yet another sign of America's decline under liberal administrations.

What has happened to bounty hunters? I remember when they used to be polite, well dressed, and well groomed. Back in the late '50's I remember a bounty hunter coming by the house to have a short meeting with my grandfather about some stock exchange issue. He was wearing a conservative blue suit with matching tie and he appeared at the door with his hat in his hand and wearing shoes that were extremely well shined, even by the standards of the day.

As he sat drinking the tea that my grandmother brought him while waiting for my grandfather to come down from the study, he was perfectly polite, and I don't remember him using n-words, f-words, mf-words or anything of the sort. Even his associate who nailed grandfather in the backyard as he climbed down the trellis was perfectly polite, only using his sap as much as necessary to subdue him. The back door man even loaned grandfather his handkerchief to wipe the mud off his cheek where it had been pressed into the dirt.

Grandmother often remarked in later years what gentlemen these bounty hunters were and she would say that if an ugly motherfucker like Dog had shown up on her front porch, she not only would not have allowed him in to soil her motherfucking doilies, grandfather probably would have shot the motherfucker in the face right through the motherfucking front door.

One can only decry the diminution of standards of courtesy in our current era.

Anonymous said...

How sharper than a serpent's tooth is an ungrateful, parent-selling-out-to-the-media child! I'm sure he'll take it philosophically, for all the reasons you mentioned.

PS. Congrats on taking "show."

Chuck Butcher said...

Seems like odd behavior amongst the well armed, oops, pepper spray just burns. Maybe there is something to be said for heavy caliber handguns.

Carl said...

It's nice to see a son make inroads into the family business. Tucker, by taping his father's conversation, has shown that he, indeed, will sell anyone out, even a family member, for a buck or two.

That bodes well for bounty hunting, so HUZZAH, TUCKER!

Mr Hepplewhite, my mother used to invite in those bounty hunters, and close the bedroom door behind her while she negotiated whatever payment.

Funny...I thought bounty hunters were supposed to *take* money, but my mother set me straight on that point.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps they could rename it to "The Dog Tucker Show?
(Not sure if that translates into Usian.
Tucker(n): antipodean for food. )

K T Cat said...

Hey, amigo! Come on over to my new open comment post on this subject and blast away!

I'd appreciate it if you changed the link to this one, too. In any case, thanks for the link.

Anonymous said...

Jon Swift wrote:

" Update: Now a Cat has had a remark he made "miscontrued" as racist, too. KT Cat was criticized when he wrote these words on his blog: "Blacks in America have become the perfect laboratory for the consequences of annihilating traditional sexual mores. At 70% illegitimacy, they have destroyed civilization at the molecular level. Still think it doesn't matter? Live it up, guys. Enjoy." Unfortunately, some people think that claiming blacks are destroying civilization is racist for some reason. "

As reasonable conservatives we must be honest and respond: "Who knows, if civilization is being destroyed at the molecular level."

In fact, as reasonable conservatives we should proclaim our indifference to the fact, and note that as long as we can keep those insistent members of the client class, (no matter what their race, gender, religion, or ethnicity) at arm's length, it doesn't it matter what they do to themselves in pursuit of their "pleasures".

After all, why should I as a reasonable conservative, care if, say, Jon** wants to parade around with a bullwhip hanging out his ass?

Just as long as he doesn't do it in my house, there's little or no harm done to my interests.

[ ** Let's trust that that is not what Jon is actually insinuating when he writes, " Or if Tucker had a homosexual lover, think how difficult it would have been for the family not to let the word "faggot" slip out."]

When it comes to American cities, or to "society" at large, why should I care, either?

After all, it's not like there are broader ramifications.

" African Americans - In 2006, approximately 47% of all chlamydia cases occurred among African Americans (Table 11A). Overall, the rate of chlamydia among African Americans in the United States was more than eight times that among whites. The rate of chlamydia among African-American women was more than seven times higher than the rate among white women (1,760.9 and 237.0 per 100,000 population, respectively) (Figure O, Table 11B). The chlamydia rate among African American men was more than 11 times higher than that among white men (741.2 and 66.0 per 100,000 population, respectively)."

" Gonorrhea by Race/Ethnicity
Changes in gonorrhea rates between 2002 and 2006 differed by race/ethnic group. Gonorrhea rates decreased by 7.7% during this time period for African Americans from 713.7 to 658.4 cases per 100,000 population. However, the gonorrhea rate among African Americans increased by 6.3% between 2005 and 2006, the first increase for this population since 1998.

Other racial and ethnic groups have also seen increases in gonorrhea rates. Since 2002, the gonorrhea rate among American Indian/Alaska Natives increased 22.8%, whites increased 17.7%, and Hispanics increased 11.8%. The gonorrhea rate among Asian/Pacific Islanders decreased 1.4% between 2002 and 2006 (Figure 17 and Table 21B).

In 2006, the gonorrhea rate among African Americans was 18 times greater than the rate for whites. This is a decrease from 2002 when there was a 23-fold difference in rates. Gonorrhea rates were 3.8 times greater among American Indian/Alaska Natives, and 2.1 times greater among Hispanics than among whites in 2006. Rates among Asian/Pacific Islanders were 1.7 times lower than among whites in 2006."

Jon Swift said...

KT Cat, why would you leave a link here to a post where you invite commenters to have an honest discussion with you about what you wrote and then delete that post and continue to delete all comments that refer to what you wrote? I hope you haven't become embarrassed by your own words.

Anonymous said...

Everyone on the news says that Dawg is really a very good man, so it must be true.

Jaesoreal said...

So is lower class, black and n***er interchangeable in dog's world? crazy

Anonymous said...

You really made some great points here. If you have a minute, join the debate on bringing the Dog back on air:

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